BattleAxe First Read: Chapter Thirty-Three: The Forbidden Valley (Part III)

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Chapter Thirty-Three (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter Thirty-Four

SCSF: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, Azhure managed to free Raum and flee with him, Axis discovered this and Hagen’s death, and he decided to pursue Azhure despite a strange discussion.

For the reader post:

Chessy leaves a fic about Belial coming to his own conclusions.

Epistler points out that there is no reason for Belial to have left his keys on a stool (other than plot convenience, of course).

Ill Logic: 194

She further notes that Raum probably should not know how to work a lock. He might have seen it done when he was locked back into the cell, but I do not think he would be especially good at it, so why does he not let Azhure do it?

Ill Logic: 195

She also notes that it makes little sense that the cell can be opened from the inside.

Ill Logic: 196

She further points out that Axis has little reason to suspect Azhure killed Hagen, took Shra and knocked Belial out; as Axis says himself, he did not think Azhure would do so and Raum has the motive and is capable of it, so why does Axis not suspect Raum?

Ill Logic: 197

Finally, she notes that Axis should at least have called out to some of the sentries while leaving.

Ill Logic: 198

With that done, let me resume with the last part of this chapter!

We pick up with Azhure, Raum and Shra. Raum can move “far and fast”, but not with Shra and Azhure slowing him. At first, they went fast, but soon Shra began to “fret” and Azhure’s ribs hurt so badly that she could hardly run. I think you should have that looked at soon, Azhure. Raum tries to keep calm, but has visions of the Smyrton villagers “hunting them down when they [are] within shouting distance of the Avarinheim”. After all, that would be the most dramatically appropriate. He carries Shra (which we already know) and hurries Azhure along. Dawn is near, and he does not want to be in the open then.

They enter the Forbidden Valley as the dawn twilight sets in. Azhure is apparently fighting for breath and gets a “sharp spike of agony” in her side with each step. She wonders if “somehow Hagen’s spirit [is] revenging itself on her for his murder”. …Where does this come from? Yes, we have heard about spirits earlier (in Faraday’s vision), but this is just completely random. We ought to have something establishing this.

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 71

Ahead of her, Raum moves smoothly, “gripping the girl to his hip”. That… seems like a bad way to carry Shra. Then we get this:

Even with the injuries that the sharp iron spikes of the villagers had inflicted on him, he had hidden reserves of strength.

What “sharp iron spikes” did the villagers use on him?? They beat him with “long iron bars” and why would they have such spikes lying around? Azhure should know this, and if he was hurt with iron spikes, we should have been told!

PPP: 333

Azhure knows he could have been deep in the Avarinheim by now if not for her. So… then I would tell him to go ahead, leave Shra in the Avarinheim and then come back for Azhure. I doubt it would slow Azhure down much and if they were attacked, Shra would be out of danger, at least. So of course they will not do so.

Ill Logic: 199

They are now close to the Nordra, the valley is narrow, and the path is “slippery and dangerous”. They have to slow down because of this. We are further told that there is barely enough room to walk and Azhure’s “heart [rises] in her mouth” every time either of them threatens to slip. The Nordra flows past only a metre below, “ready to consume them should they topple in”. That sounds quite dangerous indeed!

PPP: 336 (+3) (“Shadowsward”, when none of the characters would call it that; repetitious description; Raum’s “foot” slips)

So they keep going for a while, Azhure’s clothing gets completely soaked by the river, and then Azhure sees Raum pause. He says that the Avarinheim lies ahead and they are nearly home. Azhure looks for herself; she sees the valley broadens some fifty metres ahead, and she thinks she can see trees. She thinks they are almost safe. So, naturally, things go wrong now. She looks back at Raum, who is looking with horror at something behind him. Azhure looks around too and sees Axis barely twenty metres behind them, “his face set in determined anger”.

Raum pushes Shra into Azhure’s arms. He tells her to get ahead, to walk as fast as she can (since the path is wider ahead) and to run when she can. She should get Shra into the Avarinheim; he can hold Axis back. My, he is being sensible! Azhure protests, but Raum pushes her ahead and tells her to go. Azhure looks forward again and goes ahead as fast as she can. She can feel Raum following her and her breath comes in “terrified gasps”. She thinks that Axis, no matter what he might have thought of Hagen, will not forgive his murder, and he will be even less likely to forgive Belial’s murder. (Something that the least check would have told her was not the case…)

Well, as she keeps going, the footing gets firmer, the Nordra bends to the left (so the north) and the Avarinheim is now only twenty metres away. She thinks they will make it and the Avar will protect them as soon as they are in the trees. Then a women steps out from the trees, holding out her arms for Shra. It turns out to be GoldFeather! Her hair lights up in the first rays of the sun and Azhure thinks they are safe. (Incidentally, I do not quite know if the sun would rise like this when she is nearly out of the valley…)

Just then, everything goes wrong. You used this same twist just now, Douglass; would you care to change this? Suddenly, Azhure hears “a shocked intake of breath and a sickening thud and crack” behind her. Azhure whirls around, nearly falling. We are told Raum has kept back, trying to give her and Shra time to reach the Avarinheim, which we were just told. Just as Axis closed in on him, Raum slipped “on what had to be the last remaining wet patch of path”. Because of course he slipped on the very last bit of wet path, for the drama. He has “fallen awkwardly” and Azhure can see by how his mouth is pinched that he has hurt himself quite badly.

Without thinking, Azhure goes back toward him, because maybe she only needs to get him back on his feet to outrun Axis. But it is, of course, much too late. Axis has drawn his sword and reached Raum with two steps, and now Azhure is close enough to see that Raum’s left ankle is broken with bone sticking out of it. Ouch. Azhure wants to run to him, but GoldFeather grabs her by the shoulders and tells her not to. She herself is “riveted by the scene before them”.

So we get the scene. Raum lies on the ground, Axis has planted a foot on his chest and he has pressed his sword so hard against Raum’s throat that the tip has made a cut and “a little trickle of blood” flows down. They are both breathing heavily. Going back into action, Axis looks “derisive[ly]” at Azhure and says she managed to “surpass [her] mother’s efforts quite nicely”. After all, murdering her father and running off with Raum “far outclasses” eloping with a pedlar. He also names Belial. …I do wonder why he is talking like this to Azhure. What does he care if she has done worse than her mother? This would be more fitting if Axis had had previous hostile interactions with Azhure or had known her mother before now, but he has not, so this does not fit.

PPP: 334

Azhure tells Axis to let Raum go and that she “truly didn’t mean” to kill Belial, while intently looking at Raum. Axis said that she only killed her father, while Belial “still breathes”. You cannot know that for sure, Axis, since you left him for dead! And even if he does still breathe, that is no guarantee for the outcome he will have. At hearing this, Azhure straightens her shoulders and looks Axis in the eyes. She says she is happy that Belial lives and asks if Axis will “apologise to him for [her]”. Raum then speaks, telling Azhure to take Shra to safety and to leave him here. Sensible! He catches his breath and then tells Axis that he will let them go, as he “did not recreate Shra’s life to kill her now”.

GoldFeather says Raum is right, “her voice calm and level”. She tells Azhure to go on, and as she hesitates, tells her that Shra’s father waits and finally tells her to run. Azhure “jump[s] at the command” in her voice. Without anything further, she turns and walks into the forest, disappearing from sight soon after she enters. Yay! Now let us see how Raum will be saved.

GoldFeather walks closer “slowly, very, very slowly”, as she does not want to startle Axis into killing Raum “the moment he [feels] threatened”. She stops a few paces away and looks at him. At the sight of his uniform a flood of memories comes back to her. It has been very long since she saw an Axe-Wielder and now here is the BattleAxe himself, “his foot and sword dishonouring one of the most powerful Banes the Avar people had trained for many generations”. So… she is mainly bothered that Axis is doing this to Raum because he is so powerful and has been trained for so long? Would she find it alright if it were Shra, then? I guess this is because Douglass did not think this over, but it is not a good look.

GoldFeather then thinks that he is young and wonders what the Brother-Leader was thinking in appointing someone so young as BattleAxe. Nepotism, of course! She looks at his face for a moment, but is too concerned to look closely. She then bows “as graciously as her mother [has] taught her as a child”. My, I wonder who she could have been. She says to Axis: “may Artor hold you in the palm of his hand and guide your steps always”. I think we should have heard this phrase before now, and maybe get some explanation as for when it is used.

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 72

We cut to Axis’s POV to get a description of her. Aside from what we already know, we are told that her “manner [is] courtly and her voice gracious”, she has gray eyes, and she stays composed even when faced with Axis. He wonders what such a woman does “running with the Forbidden”. He says he would “return the blessing” except that Artor will surely have deserted anyone who “runs with the Forbidden” long ago. (If they had not already forsaken Artor, that is.) GoldFeather takes offence at his tone, thinking that the Axe-Wielders “always [think] they know everything” (not that we have seen that) and Axis seems more arrogant than the BattleAxe she knew in her youth.

At this point, she decides to act, asking if Artor demands Raum’s life. (I think he does.) She tells us she deliberately gives Axis Raum’s name, since it is “harder to kill a man whose name you [know] than a complete stranger”. Well, I do appreciate that GoldFeather tries to talk Axis out of it instead of using violence… She asks what Raum has done to deserve being killed by Axis. At that, Axis’s face “tighten[s]” and GoldFeather tells us that he is indeed beset by doubts. Yes, we knew that. GoldFeather says she does not know everything of what happened tonight, but what Azhure said makes her think that “any violence” was done by her. She tells him not to murder Raum “to atone for her wrongs”. Hmmm, she is not making very much sense, but if it frees Raum, it is good enough, I think.

Axis repeats that he is the BattleAxe and he has a duty to the Seneschal, though it sounds more like he needs to convince himself. GoldFeather says “very softly” (and I do like that she does so) that he only needs to do what his heart tells him is right, not what the Seneschal says. His duty should always be to do what he feels right. …Yes, I am quite sure she is just telling him what she thinks will help by now, and it will fortunately work. She then asks if it feels right to hold his sword to Raum’s neck, “an honoured and honourable man among his own people” (could have fooled me), when he has done “[Axis] and [his]” no wrong. Well, her “last phrase” gets a strange reaction from Axis.

He looks back at Raum and asks, whispering, who his people are. GoldFeather frowns at this and wonders what he whispers. Axis looks back at her with “tormented” eyes and asks if she knows of the Icarii. Ah, time for more species angst from Axis. GoldFeather nods, surprised and troubled “by the expression on [his] face”. She says she knows them well. Axis asks her if they sing. At this, GoldFeather’s eyes “deepen[] with memory” and she smiles. She says that they do, and “magically”. Singing is “their gift to this land and to the stars”. All Icarii sing and music runs in their blood, but the Enchanters “sing with the power and the grace of the stars themselves”.

Can’t Argue With Icarii: 9 (for the unprompted reminder of how awesome the Icarii are)

PPP: 335 (comma splice)

Still, I like that we learn that stars are important to the Icarii without being explicitly told. Axis’s face “twist[s] with emotion” now. GoldFeather steps forward and goes to put a hand on his arm, but Axis flinches and grips his sword tighter. She immediately stops where she is, “her hand left hanging in the air”. I wish Axis had anything approaching this restraint… Axis asks, “tormented”, who and what he is. I will be able to appreciate this better when we have just Axis to focus on, but this is still not badly done.

GoldFeather tries to say something, but does not know “how to comfort him” (which she apparently want to do now). Axis stares a bit longer, then steps back from Raum, lifts the sword from his neck and then jabs the point into the dirt, “leaning on it heavily”. And so he ruined it for good, or he rightly should, at least.

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 54

His voice “tired and colourless”, Axis tells Raum to go, since he has no right to hold him. Raum slowly gets up, his neck bloody and his face “ashen from the pain of his shattered ankle”. GoldFeather helps him up and lets him lean on her shoulder. They make for the Avarinheim, but just as they reach the trees, Raum stops and looks back at Axis. He still stands where he stood, watching them, “his face tired and drained of emotion, his eyes unreadable”. Then we learn that Jack and Yr told him about Faraday being in love with Axis, which he was “deeply troubled” by at the time. He questioned them “closely” about Axis, but they did not want to say anything more. That would have been helpful, after all. Well, since he has seen Axis sing to recreate Shra’s life, he can understand “why Faraday [feels] as she [does]”. He is also “deeply aware” that he is “indebted” to Axis for saving him and Shra. (I hardly think he would be; if nothing else, Axis offered this help of his own accord.)

So he says that, for the “gift of two lives”, he will give Axis one back and hold one for later. He reveals that Faraday lives. Then he turns and he and GoldFeather disappear into the Avarinheim. There the chapter ends.

Overall, this chapter is a mixed bag. Hagen is a very flat villain, Azhure being abused seems mostly to be thrown in to be “mature”, and Azhure’s whole escape makes little sense. Still, I am happy to see some plot threads begin tying together (as they well might halfway through the book) and I do like this ending! Next time, we will see more of the Avar. Until then!