BattleAxe First Read: Chapter Thirty-Five: StarMan (Part I)

[teres]

Chapter Thirty-Four | Table of Contents | Chapter Thirty-Five (Part II)

SCSF: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, Azhure met up with the GhostTree Clan, which was about all that happened.

For the reader post:

On the previous chapter, Chessy notes that Raum and Shra are uncle and niece and not uncle and cousin, as I had said. I have corrected that there, but I still thought it worth noting.

She further notes that the Avar having multiple wives does not quite work as described, assuming equal numbers of girls and boys getting born. Sure, I might say that only certain men get to marry, but Douglass does not say anything to that effect and that is not the intent I get from Pease’s explanation. It would make some sense if the Avar women can marry men from multiple clans, but I doubt that is the intent, either, and there does not seem to be a shortage of men to explain this. We might well be able to tease something out when we have seen all we have of the Avar, but for now, this is quite impossible to resolve. That certainly takes some skill, so congratulations on that, Douglass!

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 78

She notes, too, that the Avar seem to have a “‘quiverfull’ mindset” concerning reproduction, i.e. that they have as many children as quickly as possible. Fleat exemplifies this quite nicely, since she had three children (and a possible fourth pregnancy, since Hogni was not described as being around the same age as Skali) within a few years. As Chessy says, that will not be good for the health of the mother. Of course, there is no good reason for Fleat to have stopped getting pregnant at twenty-three… and yet, Pease talks about it like it is something to want to achieve.

On further thought, I think that might be because Douglass confused life expectancy and lifespan and though that the Avar, because of their lifestyle, would not get older than about forty. In that case, reproducing as quickly as possible would mean the children would get a decent while with their parents, so I could see it. The problem is, of course, that the Avar who reach adulthood can expect to live quite a bit past forty, so this makes quite little sense.

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 79

Did Not Do the Research: 61

While talking to her, I realised that Barsarbe would do better to stay with Raum, either by going ahead with Grindle or staying with Azhure if she does not trust her. That way, she can monitor Raum’s condition better.

Ill Logic: 203

Epistler rightly asks where the GhostTree Clan has got the fancy teacup from, given that the Avar are supposed to be nomadic. It might be that other Avar make such things, but we should be given an explanation for this.

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 80

For some administrative points:

I will be using these brackets: ⟨ ⟩ for the editing notes from now on, since these <> mess with HTML.

I will also be doing chapter 39, as it turned out that Scales had skipped one chapter while determining our parts, and I needed to do one more.

On to the next chapter I go, then!

Chapter Thirty-Five: StarMan

Yes, this is another Axis chapter, wherein Axis is finally told things we have known for quite a while already and we will have more Drama.

We open on Axis leaving the Forbidden Valley, his face “expressionless”, still holding his sword, “words and images jumbling chaotically through his mind”. I get what she is trying to say, but that is phrased quite awkwardly. Maybe “tumbling” would be better?

PPP: 351

So we get to see what he is thinking about:

- Raum saying that he has “the soul of an Enchanter… an Icarii Enchanter”. Yes, that is implicit in being an Enchanter (since Axis would not know or think about possible nuances), so this falls a little flat, not to mention that we already know it.

PPP: 352

- GoldFeather said that all Icarii sing, and that music courses through their blood.

- He has sung and played music that “no-one [has] ever taught him”, and now more music and “strange songs” are coming to the surface of his mind from “long-hidden traps within his soul”.

- He has sung a ward against evil to protect against Gorgrael’s cloud head.

- He has sung to Shra yesterday, and “done something to her that had shocked Raum”. …You healed her, Axis. You even said that “she lives” once you were done! How could you have forgotten this??

PPP: 353

- His reaction at seeing Raum and Shra had been “sympathy, not hatred”. So we were supposed to see that as weird? Credit to Douglass, then, though it should have been clearer.

FYRP: 122 (-9) (one point for it being unclear)

Godmode Engaged: 8 (-1)

Then he Dramatically wonders who his father is. It is StarDrifter, Axis, as we have been able to deduce by now. Well, Axis does and cannot make the connection, “lest he drive himself mad”. He only wants to “put one foot in front of the other” and somehow get back to the Axe-Wielders, to a world he understand and that understands him in turn. I do get what Douglass is trying to convey, but she is just trying too hard to be Dramatic and ends up smothering what could be a good moment.

Axis goes on, wondering how he can be “the son of one of the Forbidden” when he has dedicated his life to the Seneschal, whose “foremost enemies” are the Forbidden. And how can he have Forbidden blood in him when he has “hated and feared” them all his life? Then he wonders if his sympathy for Raum and Shra has been “prompted by the fact that he [is] Forbidden too”. He immediately whispers “No, it cannot be!” and I am fully with him, since that is not how being related to someone works!

He then says that Raum said that Faraday lived. He asks how that could be and how Raum could have known (because he met her?). If he lets himself hope it is true, and then she turns out to be dead, he “[will] be truly damned”, he says. Oh, would you be “damned”? I know what he means, but the religious sense is a quite possible interpretation here, so that could be better.

PPP: 354

Axis whispers again “No, it cannot be”, and just then someone calls out to him. With a “conscious effort”, Axis raises his head, and he sees Arne riding toward him (his horse is a “big roan gelding”, by the way), looking quite relieved. He has some more Axe-Wielders behind him. Axis slowly “straighten[s]”, because he has been walking bent all this time…?

PPP: 355

Arne says that they found Belial hurt, Hagen murdered, and the Avar missing. He asks if Axis is alright. I do like that Arne got some Axe-Wielders and actually went looking for Axis. Axis does not answer the question; rather he grimaces, sheathes his sword and says the Avar escaped with Azhure’s help. Arne snarls, and calls Azhure an “Artor-cursed bitch”. He says that Azhure murdered Hagen and “dealt Belial a grievous blow”. And how do you know that? What about what you saw means unambiguously that Azhure is the culprit? Hagen did not even die due to Azhure (and why would she stick a knife in his belly to kill him?) and Belial might well have let Raum out of his cell before he was hit.

Ill Logic: 204 (the same as with Axis)

Axis wipes a hand across his eyes, and asks after Belial. Oh, now you care about him? Arne looks at Axis with concern and says that Belial will live. Ogden and Veremund said they could help him and are now with him. Well, we have seen that the Sentinels can heal concussions, so these are the right people to ask… though I cannot help but wonder if they wanted to implant messages in his mind, too. Axis repeats their names and says “very quietly” that he must speak with them. Yes, that is about time. Arne asks after the Avar and Azhure. Axis sighs and looks back down the Valley. He lies that they had too large a start on him and disappeared into the “Shadowsward”.

Arne calls them “[c]ursed misbegotten animals”, at which Axis flinches and pales. He wavers a bit, and Arne “[lends] down his hand” and tells him to get on the horse behind him. I am quite certain that “lend down” is not an existing phrasal verb.

PPP: 356

--

Well, the “good people of Smyrton” are standing in the main street and the town square. Word about Hagen’s “murder” and the escape of Raum and Shra has spread quickly. No one is “unwilling to believe” that Azhure murdered her father, attacked Belial (who was (gasp!) Axis’s lieutenant), and then fled with Raum and Shra. No one doubts her “part in the crime”. No one had liked her, they all find, “shaking their heads in a great public show of sorrow”, she has never really fit in, and it is just like her mother, except not, since it is “[f]ar, far worse”. They all “cluck to each other” that you should never trust a Nors woman, and Hagen’s “infatuation” with Azhure’s mother was his only fault and eventually “the death of him”.

⟨That last bit should be “his death”, as “the death of him” does not mean the same thing.⟩

PPP: 357

Yes, thank you for this insight into how much the villagers of Smyrton suck, Douglass (as if we did not already knew that). Of course all of them turn on Azhure the moment it is convenient to do so, and of course no one found any fault with Hagen outside of him marrying Azhure’s mother. No one has a dissenting opinion, no one finds any nuance, since they are all a hive mind, apparently. Knowing where that will go, this seems appropriate:

Maria Monk Redux: 71

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 50

I also note that Douglass now had the “bad” villagers talk about how Nors women are untrustworthy. That does not exactly work when you just put that in unironically, Douglass.

FYRP: 123

So Hagen’s corpse has been brought to Hordley’s house, where several “weeping and wailing” Goodwives are washing it and stitching the “evil wound” in his belly, and then dress him in his “best habit”. Of course they are crying; they are village women, after all. I would also like to see how accurate they are in stitching the wound when they cannot see what they are doing, and to see Hagen get buried in his tear-soaked habit. This makes so little sense.

Ill Logic: 205

No-Wave Feminism: 38

Later on, the whole village will file past to see the body. In his home, the floor has been thoroughly cleaned and Belial laid in Hagen’s bed (credit to whoever put him there for not dragging him around unnecessarily). Still, if they cannot have a burning, the villagers do have a burial “to entertain themselves with”, and they find it quite fortunate that Ogden and Veremund are there to “conduct the Service of the Dead”. Good luck with that. I did not miss the further derogatory undercurrent of this, either.

We cut back to Axis, as he dismounts at Hagen’s house. He asks who is inside, Arne says that only Ogden, Veremund and Belial were inside, and Axis tells Arne to stand guard and let no one in, since he does not “want to be disturbed for a while”. Arne agrees, since, as far as he is concerned, “[o]ne word from Axis [is] worth an entire edict from King Priam”. Well, it seems he is taking quite well to the duty Veremund imposed on him. This level of devotion is not what one should want in a bodyguard, though, as it disables his critical thinking on this matter. What if Axis wants to go into a situation that is dangerous, and only Arne realises it? Or if he is blackmailed into doing bad things? I would want a bodyguard not to follow Axis’s words, then, but Arne is apparently willing to do so.

So Axis makes to go in, wondering if Arne will still believe in him if he knows “who, what, he really [is]”. Well, he most probably will, if only because you have been his commander for quite some time, and I doubt he would be willing to view you as evil. (From there, we might also see him get more sympathy for the “Forbidden”; after all, if Axis is alright despite being Forbidden, why not others?) Axis takes a deep breath, and says now is the time for “direct questions” to Ogden and Veremund. He is tired of evasive answers and now is the time for the “brothers” to “tell him all they know”. It is indeed, and I am glad Axis actually bothers to insist on them.

Axis leans against the door for a moment, gathering courage, then “slip[s] the door catch” and closes the door “very quietly” (Douglass certainly does like that phrase). Also… “door catch”? Looking that up, it seems to refer to something on the inside of the door that keeps it shut when closed. Those are often magnetic and do not need any kind of “working” or “slipping”. Let me see… Scales has provided me with a picture:

The part on the left goes on the inside of the door, and the part on the right goes on the doorframe. So apparently Hagen has something like this in his house and it needs slipping. That is… very interesting, to say the least (and it cannot be a misprint, either). Come to think of it, did she not mean something like this:

Or this:


Those are door chains and door bolts, respectively. I could see Axis “slipping” a door bolt, but it still seems inconsistent with the tech level, it sounds like too much effort for what Axis is doing, and there is no indication that the Sentinels made an effort to keep people out.

All in all, I think Douglass had no idea what she was saying.

Did Not Do the Research: 62

Well, Ogden and Veremund do not notice him coming in. They are on the other side of the room, leaning over Belial, who is “stretched out straight and still on the bed”. Ogden has put his hand over Belial’s face and “faint golden light” comes from his fingertips. Veremund stands behind Ogden and has put a hand on his shoulder; he mutters “very quietly” to himself. At least they are actually healing Belial…

Axis leans against the door. He says that Belial is not “in any danger”, else he “would have rushed to his aid”. And how do you know that, Axis? You only know they are doing something obviously magical, not what they are doing, and you should make sure of it! But no, he does not care for Belial’s health, apparently.

Morals for Thee But Not for Me: 104

Then Axis feels “a surge of anger”.

Axis Is Angry: 15

He is angry because Ogden and Veremund are “very much not what they pretend[] to be”, and he decides the “time for playing games” is over. I am of the same opinion, though Axis will undoubtedly be more violent about it. Veremund notices him first when he reaches for a “damp cloth” on a “side table”, from the “corner of one of his faintly glowing golden eyes”. The light immediately dies, Veremund calls Axis’s name, and Ogden removes his hand from Belial’s face. They both look at Axis, “uncertain what to say and do”, since they wanted to wait even longer to reveal themselves. …Then I am genuinely happy that Axis came in here; they have dragged this out long enough already, after all (and they are reminding me of Brom now).

Axis pushes off from the door and “stroll[s] lazily” across the room, looking Ogden and Veremund in the eye until he walks past them to Belial. How nice to see him uttering such a thinly-veiled threat. He looks at Belial, who lies quietly and breathes easily. He also has a “cool compress” on his forehead and “across the back of his neck”. I… think those would be more effective when placed on the spot he was actually hit, since it is not like he has a fever, but what do I know?

Ill Logic: 206

As Axis watches, Belial awakes and “grimace[s] in self-reproach”. He immediately apologises to Axis for turning his back on Azhure. At least you admit that you were wrong; that puts you quite a bit ahead of Axis already. Axis smiles at the apology and says that he is lucky she did not knife him, since it seems she has a “steady hand [] when it comes to murder”. Ah yes, sticking a knife in Hagen’s belly from the front indicates a “steady hand”. I get the impression that Douglass does want us to admire Azhure for this, but then she should be actually good at killing. At least Douglass fixed that problem later on.

Belial softly touches the place he was hit and says that he “did not expect it of her”. Axis brings up that Azhure was “distraught” at the thought of having killed Belial and that she sends her apologies. He jokes that Belial’s smile must have “charmed her just enough to stop the killer blow”. Belial says that he always had a way with the women and then closes his eyes as he gets a “spasm of pain”.

Then Ogden “anxiously” asks if Axis spoke to “them”. Axis then moves so quickly that Ogden barely knows what happens. All he knows is that suddenly Axis has a hand in his hair, “holding his head tilted back in a tight grip”, while he holds a “short but lethal blade” to his threat with the other. First, I want to note that Axis does not restrain Ogden in any other way, nor does he do anything about Veremund, so it is not an immediate death threat. Regardless, it is completely unnecessary and uncalled for, and it is a stereotypical villain move!

Morals for Thee But Not for Me: 105

Axis also brings his face very close to Ogden’s (because why not be as threatening as possible?), and he asks if Azhure was “in [their] pay”, since it has “[their] smell all over it”. Um… is Axis supposed to actually mean this? I could kind of see it if he thinks they had Azhure do this to make him understand that he was Forbidden… though such an incredibly roundabout scheme does not fit with anything they have done so far, and why would Azhure agree to murder her father just to make Axis realise that?

Ill Logic: 207

Belial speaks up, telling Axis not to harm them because they healed his concussion. Not because harming them is utterly unnecessary and he would find it wrong, mind, only because they healed him. Axis, who is still staring into Ogden’s eyes, says that they should well have done that, since he is not entirely sure they did not “plan the whole escape”. I can understand that better, but that still raises the question of why they would enlist Azhure, instead of taking Shra over from her, knocking Belial out themselves and then having one of them escape with her. If they had done so immediately, they could well have been back before Axis noticed.

I also note that we have had no indication of Axis thinking this before just now, and that this makes Axis look even worse for attacking Ogden on the basis of… a quite contrived conspiracy theory he just thought of. Is this the military leader Achar needs? Veremund now calls Axis’s name; he “flutter[s] helplessly” at Ogden’s side, not sure what to do and “frightened that” whatever he does “might cause Axis to slide the blade a little too far into Ogden’s neck”.

Well, Veremund, you could try to grab the knife from Axis’s hand or pull him off his feet; that might keep him attacking Ogden. Further… when GoldFeather was afraid that Axis might kill Raum, we were told she did not want to startle him into “sliding the point of the sword through Raum’s throat”. Both there and here, the phrasing does not quite fit the gravity of the scene (not in the least because you cannot exactly “slide” a knife or sword "through someone's throat"), and in this case, “a little too far” only makes it sound sillier (and it does not help that it makes it sound like Axis’s hand would slip).

Tone Soap: 42 (+2)

Axis asks if they will answer his questions. Veremund says they will, “his hands flapping impotently” (Douglass forbid he be useful, after all), as long as he lets Ogden go. Axis does just that, so abruptly that Ogden slides to the floor, then sits down on the foot of the bed and sheathes the knife “back into his boot” (that is just like Timozel, then). Belial, who managed to get up to a “half-sitting position”, lies down again.

Ogden gives Belial an anxious glance and says that this might not be “the best place”. Well, who cares if Belial hears? He is Axis’s lieutenant, after all, so if this affects military matters, it would be best to involve him. Axis takes a deep breath and looks at Belial for a moment. He says that this is “very much the right place”, and he would rather Belial hears it, and he will “value his advice”. It is not a bad thing to have a witness with him, I must give him that. Ogden concedes, and Veremund then helps him into a chair, before sitting himself. They are awfully calm about Axis just having threatened Ogden, I note.

Veremund asks what Axis wants to know. By now, “all the anger” is gone from Axis’s face, and he just looks tired. He brings up the conversation they had back in chapter 22, and he recaps what he said back then, about how reading the prophecy “opened a dark dungeon” that has been locked for his whole life so far and he did not like what he saw there. Yes, I do remember that, and it is still quite overwrought. He says that now too many things have “crawled out of that once dark hole” for him to ignore, and unless Ogden and Veremund explain everything, he is “going… to… go… insane”. Yes, that is why you sound completely calm, despite the Dramatic Ellipses. An exclamation mark would improve this quite a bit.

PPP: 358

His stress is apparently “so clear” that Belial reaches out his hand, which Axis grips tightly. He keeps looking Ogden and Veremund in the eye as he talks about how he no longer believes their story that they are actually Brothers, “devoted to learning and driven halfway to dementia” to their isolation. He asks what they are. I do note that they will keep the forms of Ogden and Veremund, even in the coming books, when there is no need to. Sure, the Brothers Ogden and Veremund have died long since, but I am not happy about them continuing to impersonate them.

Morals for Thee But Not for Me: 107 (+2)

Ogden and Veremund look at each other and grasp hands, “unsure what to do”. You have had thirty-nine years to prepare for this and you have not even agreed on when to reveal yourselves? For shame. Ogden softly asks if “the time is upon [them]”. Axis shouts that they have “no cursed choice”, because if they will not tell him, he “will break free this knife again!”.

Talk Like a Natural: 7

Ah yes, this is our hero, threatening people if they do not give him his answers right now. We have also seen that he is willing to follow through, which does not make this better at all.

Morals for Thee But Not for Me: 108

I do think that Douglass could have made this work, if she kept his aggression to some pushing and shoving at most and let him actually have a proper rant. Axis does have quite some reason to be angry with them, after all: they have pretended to be people they are not (and even gave the Service of the Dead when they were not Brothers!), and they have implicitly lied to him, too. Sure, Douglass would probably not want Ogden and Veremund to be wrong, but she could still have Axis be mistaken and get a satisfying scene out of that.

At this, Ogden and Veremund make their decision, and they both “lift[] their chins”. They set their eyes to glowing, and declare, speaking in turns, that they are the Sentinels, they are creatures of the Prophecy of the Destroyer and the serve it. Then they return to normal and wait, “looking unsure as to how their news [has] been received”. I do give them credit for being fully honest now.

Axis says to himself that he knew Ogden and Veremund were not “who they pretended to be”, but he had not expected anything like this. Belial then laughs, and says that it is no wonder they could not remember anything of the Service of the Dead. He then wonders about them being Sentinels and looks at them with “vastly increased respect”. Hmm, I think he should feel at least some disrespect for them for pretending to be Brothers when they are not, and I am not wholly sure why he thinks being “Sentinels” is so worthy of respect, but alright.

And this is where I want to stop for the time being. Until next time!