SCSF: Why, it turns out that this book's "inanity and offensiveness" has not driven you away yet! It has come near to doing that to myself, so next time will follow a somewhat different format. At least this book will steadily become easier to follow from here on out? (Not that it will matter much to me, since I only have two more chapters to cover, but it is nice for you, at least.)
I bet she doesn't realize that a severe enough whipping can kill you, too. If she was whipped, I assume it was a little at a time over a long period, but whips can do some serious damage, even with just a few lashes.
...That reminds me of Roran's whipping in Brisingr, actually, and this has been researched just as poorly, if not even worse. Roran was treated, at least, at a level which was frankly impossible in Azhure's case. She really ought to be dead now.
I feel like she and Paolini would get along well. I get that coming up with fantasy names can be really difficult, especially when the book was published before the internet was a normal thing, and thus there were no random name generators, but they could be a little more subtle about it.
Indeed they could... it is even more blatant then "Isenstar", after all. For much the same reasons, I wish she had not gone with "Jervois Landing" and "Tailem Bend". I would love to see some creativity, instead of rip-offs! Then again, when she gets creative, we get names such as "Dru-Beorh", "Lord Osmary", "Netherem Pumster", "Leagh", and "Froisson", so I do not quite know if it actually an improvement.
Not Jackass and those creepy fucking pigs... Not even Best Character Timozel can make this better. (Or is he second-best? I still don't know whether I like him more, or Belial.)
Hmmm, my best character here would be Faraday, since I have seen too little of Belial and I know that Timozel ends up horribly ruined... but Faraday gets to be awesome in Wayfarer Redemption!! Still, even she cannot quite help with the boredom, so that is a pity.
Picklefort returns! \o/
And we will be reaching it soon, too!
Thank you very much for catching that, as I had not thought to question it! (And the mule was specifically noted to be "sound", so...)
Frequent sex with someone, who them starts to look drained of energy. Is Yr actually a succubus? Because she's showing a couple of very telltale traits of one, and it would actually explain a lot.
She will not turn out to be in the end... but as I remember discussing with Chessy, she really does seem like some kind of "malevolent fey", or maybe a succubus. She just seems to like messing with people more than any of the others, and it stands out clearly.
Why doesn't she just transform back into an animal? It would be a lot easier for her to keep warm when she could stick her entire body under a blanket and curl up.
That is presumably because she needs a lot of power for that and there are no enchanted places nearby. Still, she could have done so when leaving Fernbrake Lake... but she is supposed to be Faraday's maid from now on, so I can let this pass.
Oh, look! Another thing she and Paolini have in common. Admittedly, this particular problem isn't exactly rare in badfics, novels included, so that isn't saying much, but still.
The more I am reading of this, the more I become convinced that Douglass just threw the story on the page without bothering to look back, and that there was very little in the way of editing. Still, I write much the same way, but I think these commentaries are a little cleaner! That does say something, I would say.
But they won't try to help him, because gods forbid they do anything out of the kindness of their hearts for someone. Jackass is too busy being creepy, and Yr is too busy humping Faraday's back.
And they both care too much about ~the Prophecy~ to take much inititative, too (never mind that they might need to in order to fulfill the Prophecy...).
Even putting their ages aside, if you're almost fanatically devoted to someone, you're not going to refer to them like that. You would be much more respectful, and maybe even a little reverent, seeing that he thinks Faraday is the only one who can save him from this.
Thank you for noting that! On the whole, Timozel's fall to evil feels rather off; calling Faraday "girl" fits better with the "heroic commander" he thinks he will become. I get the feeling that Douglass did not quite know which route she wanted to take yet, and so mixed them up.
I had not even thought of that, but I would not have been surprised! (She will get herself some "action" soon enough... so maybe it was a part of it?)
Unfortunately, we will be seeing quite a bit more of him... and we will only get rid of him forgood at the end of Sinner, I see. Still, he will have only a single small chapter in this book, so that is something to enjoy, I would think.
Well, he may not fall off a cliff, but he does get radiation sickness and burns!
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SCSF: Why, it turns out that this book's "inanity and offensiveness" has not driven you away yet! It has come near to doing that to myself, so next time will follow a somewhat different format. At least this book will steadily become easier to follow from here on out? (Not that it will matter much to me, since I only have two more chapters to cover, but it is nice for you, at least.)
I bet she doesn't realize that a severe enough whipping can kill you, too. If she was whipped, I assume it was a little at a time over a long period, but whips can do some serious damage, even with just a few lashes.
...That reminds me of Roran's whipping in Brisingr, actually, and this has been researched just as poorly, if not even worse. Roran was treated, at least, at a level which was frankly impossible in Azhure's case. She really ought to be dead now.
I feel like she and Paolini would get along well. I get that coming up with fantasy names can be really difficult, especially when the book was published before the internet was a normal thing, and thus there were no random name generators, but they could be a little more subtle about it.
Indeed they could... it is even more blatant then "Isenstar", after all. For much the same reasons, I wish she had not gone with "Jervois Landing" and "Tailem Bend". I would love to see some creativity, instead of rip-offs! Then again, when she gets creative, we get names such as "Dru-Beorh", "Lord Osmary", "Netherem Pumster", "Leagh", and "Froisson", so I do not quite know if it actually an improvement.
Not Jackass and those creepy fucking pigs... Not even Best Character Timozel can make this better. (Or is he second-best? I still don't know whether I like him more, or Belial.)
Hmmm, my best character here would be Faraday, since I have seen too little of Belial and I know that Timozel ends up horribly ruined... but Faraday gets to be awesome in Wayfarer Redemption!! Still, even she cannot quite help with the boredom, so that is a pity.
Picklefort returns! \o/
And we will be reaching it soon, too!
Thank you very much for catching that, as I had not thought to question it! (And the mule was specifically noted to be "sound", so...)
Frequent sex with someone, who them starts to look drained of energy. Is Yr actually a succubus? Because she's showing a couple of very telltale traits of one, and it would actually explain a lot.
She will not turn out to be in the end... but as I remember discussing with Chessy, she really does seem like some kind of "malevolent fey", or maybe a succubus. She just seems to like messing with people more than any of the others, and it stands out clearly.
Why doesn't she just transform back into an animal? It would be a lot easier for her to keep warm when she could stick her entire body under a blanket and curl up.
That is presumably because she needs a lot of power for that and there are no enchanted places nearby. Still, she could have done so when leaving Fernbrake Lake... but she is supposed to be Faraday's maid from now on, so I can let this pass.
Oh, look! Another thing she and Paolini have in common. Admittedly, this particular problem isn't exactly rare in badfics, novels included, so that isn't saying much, but still.
The more I am reading of this, the more I become convinced that Douglass just threw the story on the page without bothering to look back, and that there was very little in the way of editing. Still, I write much the same way, but I think these commentaries are a little cleaner! That does say something, I would say.
But they won't try to help him, because gods forbid they do anything out of the kindness of their hearts for someone. Jackass is too busy being creepy, and Yr is too busy humping Faraday's back.
And they both care too much about ~the Prophecy~ to take much inititative, too (never mind that they might need to in order to fulfill the Prophecy...).
Even putting their ages aside, if you're almost fanatically devoted to someone, you're not going to refer to them like that. You would be much more respectful, and maybe even a little reverent, seeing that he thinks Faraday is the only one who can save him from this.
Thank you for noting that! On the whole, Timozel's fall to evil feels rather off; calling Faraday "girl" fits better with the "heroic commander" he thinks he will become. I get the feeling that Douglass did not quite know which route she wanted to take yet, and so mixed them up.
I had not even thought of that, but I would not have been surprised! (She will get herself some "action" soon enough... so maybe it was a part of it?)
Unfortunately, we will be seeing quite a bit more of him... and we will only get rid of him forgood at the end of Sinner, I see. Still, he will have only a single small chapter in this book, so that is something to enjoy, I would think.
Well, he may not fall off a cliff, but he does get radiation sickness and burns!