BattleAxe First Read: Chapter Twenty-One: Inside the Enchanter-Talon's Tomb

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Chapter Twenty (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter Twenty-Two

NRSG: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, Jack succeeded in abducting Faraday and Timozel also came along. This also marks the point where we will have two separate plotlines.

Now for the reader post.

On the previous part, Epistler notes that Axis does not try to search for Faraday or Timozel.

Ill Logic: 37

I also see that I forgot to add this, as Axis is, indeed, angry at the end of the chapter:

Axis Is Angry: 10

And with that, I am done here! I will see you again in chapter 34 of Threshold! Until then! (leaves)

(an anthro salamander comes in, who is black with yellow stripes. They are wearing a robe patterned to look like the skin of a fire salamander)

Studious Considerate Silly Fire-Salamander (SCSF): My, I have finally graduated to doing this for myself… For whoever may be reading this, I will be doing chapter 21 to 38 of this book, and I am very excited to begin with this!

Let us start, then.

Chapter Twenty-One: Inside the Enchanter-Talon’s Tomb

I assume this is from Faraday’s perspective, then. That is a better way to start than with Axis, I suppose.

We open on Faraday waking up, “her head throbbing, every muscle and joint in her body aching”. I am glad to see some acknowledgement of how undoubtedly injured she must be. Someone holds a hand “close over her face”. She tries to brush the hand away.

The person says that they are only “wiping the dirt from [her] face”. With that, they are done, and ask if Faraday can open her eyes. Maybe wiping the dirt from her face should wait until you know that she is doing well?

Ill Logic: 38

With considerable effort, Faraday manages to open her eyes. She blinks, trying to focus. She can see Jack’s “concerned face” above her and blinks again. Gradually she can focus better. Good to see that Jack has his priorities out of order again…

She tries to sit up and mutters that she hurts everywhere. Jack’s face eases a bit as he sees Faraday move. He says that they came down “more heavily than he had foreseen”, as he did not realise the Barrow would collapse as much as it did. He and Yr escaped the worst, but Faraday and “that Axe-Wielder” were hit by loose stones. It is also noted that Jack’s “face harden[s]” when he talks about Timozel. Well, Jack, if you had not been so very suspicious, maybe he would not have come along. I dislike him already.

At hearing about him, Faraday cries out Timozel’s name and sits up. This naturally proves too much for her to take and she groans, “catching at her head with her hands”. (A somewhat odd turn of phrase, I think.)

A woman, who must be Yr, then speaks behind her, saying “Quietly”. I think that should be “Quiet” or it should have a verb; this does not read well at all.

PPP: 107

Faraday then feels “cool and soothing hands” across her forehead. Yr tells her that she must not move this fast yet, and goes to “massage [Faraday’s] head” for a bit. Faraday thinks it feels wonderful and so she sits for a few minutes, “letting the marvellous hands take away the worst of the throbbing”.

Since a massage would not take the pain away, I think that Yr has just used magic to cure Faraday’s concussion. Good to see one of the Sentinels use their magic for good for once! When it is done, she thanks Yr and turns around to see who has helped her. She is astonished, because behind her squats “a completely naked woman with long straight white-blonde hair hanging to her waist.”

So that is Yr’s human form. I think we could use some more description besides her hair, and also some commas in the description.

PPP: 108

Yr asks if Faraday does not know her, and she says she is Yr and this is her “human form”. (To be quite precise, I should say “anthro form”, since she is not human.) Faraday’s eyes get even wider at this, and she says this: “You can change?”

…I believe Jack told you this half a day ago? No, he did not explicitly tell her that. For something else… I note that Faraday has not thought of Merlion at all so far and will not for the rest of this chapter. Alright, a search shows me that she will do so in chapter 24, but given that it only appears there, it feels like an afterthought to me. It is just quite insulting, to both Merlion and Faraday. (I also would not be surprised if Yr purposefully made her forget about Merlion.)

Well, Yr laughs at Faraday’s question, “a low and throaty sound”. She says it is hard for her, and for the Sentinels in general to change shape, and they need “a little assistance” for that. She indicates the place where they are and says it still has “so much residual enchantment” that it was easier to do. Ah, that is probably how Ogden and Veremund managed to change shape: they used Cauldron Lake for that. (I do wish that they would stop using the appearances of the original Ogden and Veremund, though.)

Yr laughs again and winks at Jack. He apparently did not always approve, because he thought it “inappropriate”. Then why did he stroke Yr earlier? And also, what does he have to say of this? If Yr wants to be a cat, then she may be one, I would think, no matter what Jack finds. I just do not like how judgy he is of her here.

Well, Yr shrugs at this. She says that a cat can go to places she would not have come as “human”, and overheard many conversations she would otherwise be killed for overhearing. She says that she has been in Carlon “for many years” and heard many things. This frankly makes Jack’s disapproval even more ridiculous, because this is how she can spy on people! What, should she have put on clothing while going to spy?

No-Wave Feminism: 21 (I do think this is warranted given how illogical this is)

Jack tells Yr “shortly” that it is enough (why? Should Faraday not know about this, then?) and asks Faraday if she can stand. Immediately after, they both help her to her feet. Then why ask? Oh well.

Faraday now has a look around, so we can get a description of the chamber. They are at one end of a “dimly lit rectangular stone chamber”, which is noted to be around 40 by 15 paces. In the centre of it, there is a “table-shaped solid block of stone”, which is “as high as a man’s waist and pure white”. It almost seems to gleam in the light. At either end of the chamber are “copper lamps” which glow softly. (Were those lamps already lit, or did the Sentinels light them?) When she turns around, Faraday sees that the wall behind them is “half obscured by tumbled masonry and dirt.”

Jack says that the landslide has “blocked the passage down here” completely, so no one can follow. As far as the people above are concerned, they are dead, “entombed in the mud and the rocks”. At that, Faraday shivers, and she thinks that Axis thinks she is dead. Then, we get this: “Well, it was for the best.”

So now she is perfectly alright with the plan of the Sentinels, within the span of a day?? I am very sure that Yr used her magic to mess with Faraday’s mind just now.

Give Me a Piece of Your Mind: 8

Morals for Thee But Not for Me: 35

Then she sees Timozel lying motionlessly on the floor behind her. She steps over and bends down next to him, while calling out his name. Poor Timozel! Yr and Jack look at each other, and we get this:

It would have been better if Timozel had died in the landslide, but he had been largely protected by the magical aura of the staff as they fell down the chasm. His presence was a complication that they did not need.

I… Are these people we are supposed to trust?! They are so obsessed with their plans that they would let Timozel die? And yes, I know that they are dedicated to the Prophecy, but what would be the trouble in not thinking that people who get in the way should die? I also note that they have not bothered to heal Timozel yet, even though Jack could have healed him already.

Morals for Thee But Not for Me: 36

Still, they are “bound”, just like Ogden and Veremund. They can “suggest and advise” and sometimes they can “manipulate events if they serve[] the Prophecy”, but they cannot interfere with life itself.

So the reason why they do not kill Timozel here is because they are forbidden from doing much useful? I am not exactly surprised; I just think that it is a good encapsulation of this book. And that is why I hate this book, frankly. And of course they cannot interfere in big ways. Allowing the ancient beings to actually be useful would probably deviate from the formula too much. (Also, I do wonder if they will truly not interfere with “life itself”…)

Jack sighs and bends to Timozel. He tells Faraday to move her hand, and he can help Faraday as “[he] did [her]”. Um, Yr healed her, not Jack! And why does Faraday need to “move her hand”? We were not told she touched Timozel at all! What are you talking about, Douglass!?

PPP: 109 (+2)

Well, Jack puts his hand on Timozel’s face, “a faint green light” coming from his fingertips. Gradually, colour seeps back into his cheeks and “after a few minutes” he shifts a bit and “be[gins] to moan”. Well, at least he has properly healed Timozel…

Faraday crouches across from Jack. He says Faraday must persuade Timozel that Yr and he pose no threat. As she can see, he is “fully armed with sword and axe”, and Yr and he are as “vulnerable to steel” as Faraday or Axis. And just like Axis must not die, they must not either, for then “all is lost”.

What is the difficulty in taking his sword and axe away from him, then?? You have all the time you could want for that! If he is dangerous because of his sword and his axe, make sure he cannot use them! How hard can it be?

Ill Logic: 38

As for the rest of what he says… I guess Timozel got a new axe in the meantime? And I seriously doubt that “all is lost” if Jack or Yr would die.

Faraday nods with grave eyes and places “one restraining hand” on Timozel’s chest. Not that she tries to do anything about his weapons. We are told that “Unlike Faraday, Timozel leapt from unconsciousness to full alertness.” Yes, that is because Jack healed him before now. Why is this contrast with Faraday there?

PPP: 110

Well, he opens his eyes, “both angry and indignant”, and lurches upright. He brushes away Faraday’s hand, “his knees bending to rise”. He grips his sword and pulls it half out of the scabbard. Jack and Yr flinch at the sound (then why did you not take it?!).

Faraday tries to wrap her arms around Timozel, as she cries to him that it is all right and they are safe. Timozel freezes for a moment. Then he looks at her and asks what happened, “his eyes losing some of their aggression.” Faraday does not answer him, and instead tells him again that it is alright and “[runs] her fingers soothingly through his brown curls”. Alright then.

Timozel looks around and asks where they are and what happened. His face tightens as he sees Jack and “remember[s] him trying to abduct Faraday”, which is a completely fair assessment of the situation. Then “his cheeks stain[] red” (so he blushes) when he sees that Yr is completely naked. She smiles a bit and leans back against the block of stone, presumably displaying herself as good as she can. Timozel puts the sword back, still looking at Yr, and slowly gets up.

Jack “rebuke[s]” her, saying that this is not “the time nor the place”. Yr asks what she can do, as she does not have any clothing. Why do we have this? Well, Timozel keeps staring at Yr, “his eyes wary”. Finally he offers her his cloak, and he takes a step to Yr.

She apparently teases him by waiting for a bit and then “languidly stretche[s] forth a hand”. When she takes it, she complains it is wet. We get this:

“Take it!” Jack snapped, irritated by Yr’s behaviour. He wished she had retained her cat form; she could be infinite trouble in her womanly guise.

And why is she “infinite trouble” when she has the form of a woman, exactly? Why does she wants to seduce people in specifically this form? I think I will give it this, because I am not very happy about this:

No-Wave Feminism: 22

Well, Yr now puts the cloak on, saying that it will no doubt dry quickly and thanking Timozel. Timozel is more relaxed since Yr is no longer naked, and sketches “a courtly bow” for her. He calls her “[m]y lady”.

Faraday places a hand on his arm and introduces Jack and Yr by name. She begins to say who they are, but then stops, wondering what she should tell him. She looks at Jack “for guidance.” Then we are told that Jack “interrupt[s]”. Um, Douglass, Faraday just stopped and she looked at Jack to tell her what to do. Then he does not interrupt.

PPP: 111

Jack brings up the Prophecy he heard “at the Silent Woman Keep”, and he says that Yr and he are two of the Sentinels mentioned in the Prophecy. They are part of it, and are “bound to it and serve it”.

PPP: 112 (comma splice)

Timozel narrows his eyes and we get some of his thoughts. He remembers the line about the Sentinels in the Prophecy and its “darker companion”, which I presume is the line about their hearts “being corrupted by power”.

“When the Prophecy had been simply an abstract riddle Timozel had found it amusing if puzzling; now that it was taking flesh and blood form before him he did not think he liked it as much.”

I included this for the awful lack of punctuation.

PPP: 115 (three missing commas)

The sentiment is something I can certainly understand, though. We are further told that he was taught as a child that all magic was evil and only used by the Forbidden to “harm Artor-fearing Acharites and undermine their faith in the Way of the Plough”. He gets more uneasy as he remembers that the Prophecy also mentions “the remade dead and dark powers”. He wonders if those magical creatures are now a threat to him and Faraday, and he places his hand a little closer to his sword again.

Yr then speaks up, “her voice soft and reasonable”. She now looks “reassuring” instead of challenging. She says that Jack and she, “as are [their] comrades”, devote their lives to preserving Tencendor and to “finding and supporting” the StarMan, who will stop Gorgrael. They do not mean him or Faraday harm. Yes, yes, I am very sure of all of this.

Also, that should be “as do our comrades”, since that replaces the verb “devote”.

PPP: 116 (was there any editing done??)

Timozel demands to know why they have “seized” her. Faraday explains that they are taking her to Borneheld because they believe he will be better able to keep the ice creatures at bay with her at his side. Timozel then asks if he is the one who “will save Achar”. Jack says that he will be “vitally important” and will need Faraday to support him.

Timozel looks at Faraday, “trying to think”. Faraday’s hair hangs in disarray and she looks anxiously at him. He thinks that she doubtlessly cannot wait to reach Borneheld, and the more he thinks about it, the more he believes it “would be a good thing” if she does. But it will be very dangerous at Gorkenfort.

He makes up his mind and says he can understand why she would want to do so. Faraday relaxes at that. He then frowns and says he does not entirely trust her companions, because of how they threw them “down here”.

Faraday gets to explaining, by saying that Timozel knows Axis, and he had orders to take her to Arcen and leave here there. However, she does wish to join Borneheld very much. At this point, she thinks “Artor forgive [me] for that lie”. She points out how Gorgrael attacked the Axe-Wielders, so it might have been dangerous for her to stay, and Jack and Yr thought it best to leave.

Timozel nods a bit and then makes up his mind again. He decides that Artor must have pushed him to Faraday’s side so he can protect her, and that Artor is giving him to chance “to prove what a great and honourable warrior he [can] be.” So he drops to a knee before Faraday and grabs both her hands between his own. I certainly like this! It is nice to see Timozel do something positive with his religion and that he wants to protect Faraday!

He says “earnestly” that he pledges his life to her service. Faraday gasps and she looks at Jack and Yr before looking back at Timozel. Timozel continues, saying that he will “stand between [her] and harm”, that he will guard both “[her] body and [her] honour” before his own safety, that he will “champion [her] cause” and that he will only seek that she walks in the light for the rest of her life. He calls upon Artor to witness his “holy vow”, and only his death or Faraday’s wish may break it. He asks Faraday if she accepts his service.

This is truly nicely done! Well, Faraday does not know what to do. Apparently, warriors “[have] been known” to bind themselves as “Champions” to noble ladies, but to the best of her knowledge, it has not happened in many years. How does Timozel know of this, then? I guess he has heard of it elsewhere. Faraday looks at Jack for guidance.

He nods, as he thinks that Timozel might protect her against “some of the trauma ahead”, and she needs a friend. So Jack is certain that she will go through trauma later on? That does not promise much good. Also, why does he use “trauma” here?

Talk Like a Natural: 3

Yr wonders if Timozel might be more trouble than he is worth, but she also nods. After all, when he is Faraday’s Champion, “Timozel [will] prove a far more irresistible challenge for her.” Um… are we to trust her? This does not seem like a particularly heroic character to me!

Morals for Thee But Not for Me: 37

Faraday takes a deep breath and looks back to Timozel, saying she is “touched by his offer and his genuine concern for her”. She knows that the relationship between lady and Champion is “never sexual”, and perhaps that is one of the reasons the court nobles “[have] discarded the ancient tradition as hopelessly idealistic and practically untenable.”

Douglass, really now? Why would they discard a tradition for being too idealistic? Would they not at least want to pretend they were being idealistic? Why would the ladies at court not like the idea of an ideal protector?

Yes, it is impossible to fulfil completely, but that does not mean that people would simply give up on it! And I also doubt that the lack of sex would be such a dealbreaker is Douglass makes it out to be. People just like to have ideals!

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 30

Well, Faraday knows that a Champion is more than simply a protector. Timozel is “a friend, a confidant, a pillar to lean on, a man who [will] always believe her, strive to understand her, and do his utmost to support her in any decision that she [makes]”. Yes, that is all in a single sentence. She nods, thinking that life at Borneheld’s side might not be so awful with Timozel there.

Then she says she accepts Timozel’s offer, and “thank[s] him from the depths of [her] heart”. She calls on Artor to witness that the bond will hold until Timozel’s death or until she breaks it. She wishes for Artor to guide their steps in the future, “and may He keep and hold us in the palm of His hand.”

Timozel smiles and kisses her hands, then lets go and stands. He thinks that now Jack and Yr know Faraday has a protector and if they try to harm her, “he [will] cut them down where they [stand]”. (Please do it now, Timozel!) He squares his shoulders and says that he feels taller, as if his role as Faraday’s Champion has made him taller “along with the new meaning and direction of his life”.

PPP: 113 (redundancy)

He dismisses the thought of what Axis might say, since it is “more than time he start[s] to shoulder some responsibility”. Because it is just so very easy to shrug off all his time under Axis. He then asks Jack, as authoritatively as he can manage, if he can explain where they are. And the chapter ends.

That was… not too bad, but I wish there was more to it. We have Timozel becoming Faraday’s Champion, sure, but before that, Douglass spends too much time for my taste in convincing him that Jack and Yr mean no harm. I also think it might have been nice to know of the Champion thing before now.

Well, next time, we are back with Axis for a quite short chapter. Until then!