Who is there for him to have fought? I'm betting this is the first serious opponent he or any of the others have faced!
SCSF: Especially since they were very good at defeating the summer raiders, apparently. I somehow doubt this lack of experience will trouble them much.
It's a tasteless reference to pregnant women having hormonal mood swings. Might as well say 'bards and teenagers'.
Then it seems I was quite right in complaining about it.
... Oh good heavens, he's having them dig foxholes. Never mind that he's never heard of artillery before and thus has to come up with this on the spot and explain himself, he just 'knows' that digging into the earth will give them cover from the barrage!
In all seriousness, it's a sound idea just not an idea Axis should be familiar with. It should be something he comes up with right there, right then and we should see his reasoning. (Which can be as simple as 'we need cover, we don't have cover, digging into the ground will make cover.)
Ah, thank you for explaining what this was supposed to be! Still... why would he even suggest foxholes to help with what is effectively a bombardment? The way they have dug in now, they are much more vulnerable to the ice spears because of their larger surface area.
If he were expecting something to come from the cloud, I could see why he would do so, but it just seems misapplied. Indeed, as you say, seeing his thought process would have helped very much! And, of course, when would he have used this against the raiders?
(I honestly would not have guessed they were foxholes because of the circumstances here.)
Yeah, no, 'teetered over' in my experience means something is about to fall not that it has.
Thank you for the confirmation!
Okay, the idea she's going for of friendship and comradery beating back the dark can work, but this instance is badly done. I'm thinking Douglass should have left out the bits about the army's mental states, or at least the madness, and focused on the emotional uplift of the song. (Maybe have Axis start singing when he realizes Belial is there in an attempt to reassure him?)
Hmmm, I think it could be better fixed by showing both the effect the cloud has and the impact the song has (and not glossing the latter over, of course).
no subject
Who is there for him to have fought? I'm betting this is the first serious opponent he or any of the others have faced!
SCSF: Especially since they were very good at defeating the summer raiders, apparently. I somehow doubt this lack of experience will trouble them much.
It's a tasteless reference to pregnant women having hormonal mood swings. Might as well say 'bards and teenagers'.
Then it seems I was quite right in complaining about it.
Ah, thank you for explaining what this was supposed to be! Still... why would he even suggest foxholes to help with what is effectively a bombardment? The way they have dug in now, they are much more vulnerable to the ice spears because of their larger surface area.
If he were expecting something to come from the cloud, I could see why he would do so, but it just seems misapplied. Indeed, as you say, seeing his thought process would have helped very much! And, of course, when would he have used this against the raiders?
(I honestly would not have guessed they were foxholes because of the circumstances here.)
Yeah, no, 'teetered over' in my experience means something is about to fall not that it has.
Thank you for the confirmation!
Okay, the idea she's going for of friendship and comradery beating back the dark can work, but this instance is badly done. I'm thinking Douglass should have left out the bits about the army's mental states, or at least the madness, and focused on the emotional uplift of the song. (Maybe have Axis start singing when he realizes Belial is there in an attempt to reassure him?)
Hmmm, I think it could be better fixed by showing both the effect the cloud has and the impact the song has (and not glossing the latter over, of course).