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Chapter Six (Part I) | Chapter Seven


A good day, everyone, and welcome back to Lord Foul’s Bane! Last time, Covenant met with Lena’s family, and we learned about a prophecy concerning him. I don’t have much for the reader post, though I would like to apologise for taking so long; I’ve been rather busy, and my other projects haven’t been very cooperative.

We last left off with Atiaran saying that if Covenant has come to betray the land, only the Lords can hope to stop him. It takes Covenant a moment to understand this, and before he can protest, Lena does it for him, saying that he fought a gray cloud on Kevin’s Watch”, so how can Atiaran doubt him? Well, Covenant’s potentially powerful enough that it would be foolish not to be wary of him until his motives are clear, and him “fighting” Lord Foul then doesn’t have to mean he’s got good intentions. This keeps Covenant from a “belligerent reaction”; instead, he notes that Lena’s “put him on false ground”, since he didn’t actually fight Lord Foul.

Before Atiaran can reply, Trell comes in and looks at all of them, then says that they are “come on hard times”. So did he wait outside to listen to their conversation or did he only just come in? I guess it’s the latter, but it’d be nice to have some confirmation. Atiaran reiterates that these are hard times, then Trell sees the broken pot and says there are indeed hard times when “stoneware is broken, and the pieces left to powder underfoot”. Lena gets ashamed at this and apologises, saying she was afraid. Trell says it doesn’t matter, then puts his hands on her shoulders and says “[s]ome wounds may be healed” and he’s feeling strong today. Atiaran looks gratefully at him, “as if he [has] just undertaken some heroic task”.

Given his reaction, I don’t think that Trell knows about their conversation, but I do wonder why he doesn’t ask what these “hard times” are, or why no one bothers to tell him that Lord Foul has come back; that is quite important to know, after all. For the last part of the interaction, I do get what’s going on: Trell offers to fix the pot, and Atiaran is happy to see something good happen after the awful news she just got, but Covenant doesn’t seem to get it. I think that Donaldson put it that way because he wanted to avoid “as you know”-dialogue, but if Covenant doesn’t ask just what Trell wants to heal, it can become confusing for the reader. I’m not sure if Donaldson really took that into account when writing this.

So Atiaran tells Covenant to sit down, since the food will be ready soon, and she and Lena begin to prepare it. Trell, for his part, picks up the shards of the pot, “singing an ancient subterranean song”. He takes them to the table and sits down by the lamp. Covenant sits down to watch, too. We get a description of Trell fixing the pot: first, he puts the pieces back together, and each stays where it is “without any adhesive Covenant [can] see”. Soon everything is in place, though there’s still “a network of fine black lines to mark the breaks”. Then he changes his song, and begins to stroke the pot, and everywhere he does that, the lines vanish “as if they [have] been erased”. He does this to the whole pot, being careful to cover every surface, then stops singing and puts it down. Covenant sees it’s “as complete and solid as if it [has] never been dropped”.

I do like this sequence, though I feel compelled to point out that the fracture lines wouldn’t be black if he puts the pieces in their right places; they’d only be black if there’s gaps between them. It’s a nitpick, sure, but if we’re going to get a sequence of Trell healing a pot, it would be nice to have it be accurate. That aside, I get the feeling this exists for some part to let us see what Trell can do as a Gravelingas. I don’t mind it, but it does feel a bit clumsy that there’s no reason given for just why he decides to fix the pot. All the same, it’s a nice demonstration of how Gravelingases can use their power, so I do like it!

Covenant then looks over at Trell, who looks “haggard with strain” and whose “cheeks [are] streaked with tears”. He explains that “[m]ending is harder than breaking” and he couldn’t do this every day, before putting his head in his arms. I hadn’t expected it would take this much out of him, really; from the next books, I’m used to him being much more powerful, so it’s a bit weird to see him struggling with healing a pot. We learn that Atiaran stands behind Trell, and massages his neck and shoulders, “her eyes [] full of pride and love”. That’s quite sweet of her! Covenant thinks that he comes “from a very poor world, where no one [knows] or care[s] about healing stoneware pots”. He tries to tell himself he’s dreaming, but doesn’t want to listen. Yeah, if his own world doesn’t know about that, that would be a pity, though it’s hardly an indicator that it’s a “very poor world”, any more than the Land would be “very poor” for not having microscopes or something. It’s just a difference in kind, not in value. That said… Earth most certainly does know and care about fixing stoneware; I was able to find several websites on how to do that (and yes, those were the first results I found, so quality isn’t exactly guaranteed), along with a small paper on historic practices, so I’m completely unconvinced that Earth is “poorer” than the Land. And given how easy I found it to find this, I’m quite certain Donaldson could have found this back when he wrote this.

Everyone pauses out of respect for Trell’s deed, then Lena and Atiaran set the table. When they’re done, Trell gets up and goes to stand next to the table with Atiaran and Lena. Atiaran explains that it’s “the custom of [their] people to stand before eating”, as “a sign of respect for the Earth”, which gives them “life and food and power”. So Covenant joins in, feeling “awkward and out of place” (which I can certainly relate to), the others close their eyes and bow their heads, and then they begin the meal. I like seeing this, but I’d like to know more about why standing is a sign of respect, and how closing their eyes and bowing their heads fits in. It’s not necessary by any means, but it would be nice for texture.

So they get to eating, and we get a description of the meal: cold salt beef covered with a steaming gravy”, wild rice”, apples, bread, and cheese. Covenant also get his promised springwine, which looks like water, sparkles slightly, smells a bit of aliantha, and taste[s] like a fine beer which [has] been cured of all bitterness”. He drinks quite a bit of it before he realises it puts him on edge even more (it’s probably alcoholic… so what did you honestly expect?), and soon he’s impatient for the meal to end, so he can leave and expand in the night air”. The others eat slowly and deliberately, however, as if the meal “mark[s] the end of all their happiness together” (as it very well might… and basically does). Covenant realises this is caused by his presence and feels uneasy about it. I guess it has been caused by his presence, since he wouldn’t have told them about Lord Foul if he hadn’t come here, but I still don’t think it’s primarily caused by him.

To feel more at ease, Covenant decides to learn more. He asks why the Stonedown doesn’t use wood when the valley is quite heavily wooded, and suggests that it might be “sacred or something”. Atiaran has heard the word “sacred”, but isn’t sure what it means. There’s “Power in the Earth” everywhere, and they respect it “for the life it gives”, so they’ve sworn the Oath of Peace. She checks with Covenant if that’s what he wanted to know, and then immediately goes on to tell why they don’t use wood. I get the impression that a remark by Covenant was deleted here, since this flows quite awkwardly if it wasn’t. She explains, in a rather rambly way, that during the exile of their people, they clung to the rhadhamaerl lore, which allowed them to endure. The wood-lore, the lillianrill, didn’t help and so they forgot it, and once they came back to the Land, the stone-lore was enough for them. Others have kept the lillianrill, though. She has seen “Soaring Woodhelven”, for example, which lies in the hills far to the north-east, and it’s a “fair place” where people understand wood and flourish. There is “some trade between Stonedown and Woodhelven”, but wood and stone are naturally not among the goods.

Well, we’re getting some good and timely exposition for once, and a mention of a place that will be relevant later, so congratulations on that! Covenant doesn’t react to the exposition, and instead notes that people are talking outside, and Atiaran soon says that it’s the gathering she promised to sing for. She and Trell get up, and Trell says that she will talk to theCircle of elders” after that, and he will make preparations for tomorrow. I guess he knows that because Atiaran told the person who asked her to come sing earlier, who told it to Trell? It does seem like he should be asking what she’s planning to do. He then points at the table and says tomorrow will be a fine day, since “there is no shadow on the heart of the stone”. Covenant looks and sees nothing, and Atiaran explains that only a rhadhamaerl can read the weather in stone. That’s also a nice way to put in some worldbuilding, and I like it, though I don’t think it’ll come up later.

Atiaran now invites Covenant to hear the legend of Berek Halfhand and asks Lena to “clean the stoneware”. Lena clearly doesn’t want to, and Trell tells her to go and he’ll do it himself, for which Lena hugs him. Atiaran unseriously tells Trell that he’ll teach Lena “to think that she is a queen”, before taking her hand “to show that she [is] not angry” (they do have a nice dynamic), and leading her and Covenant out. Once outside, we get more thoughts from Covenant, as he talks about his “mounting excitement” and how the springwine affects him. He complains internally about people saying he has “wild magic”, and wonders if they think he’s crazy, then thinks that he might well be and could be hallucinating everything. He immediately says that he’s not, and he “know[s] the difference”; he’s just dreaming. We get a bit more on that, including that “[m]adness is the only danger” in dreams, and then we get a note on how Covenant is still attracted to Lena, because we certainly can’t forget that.

Soon, Lena, Atiaran and Covenant reach the gathering at the centre of the Stonedown. Since the people are holding gravelling pots, Covenant can get a good look at them. It seems that nearly the entire Stonedown has come. As for the people, most are shorter than he is, and they have “brown or black hair”, both in contrast to Trell. They are a “stocky, broad-shouldered breed”, though, and even the women and children give “an impression of physical strength”. Covenant feels “the same dim fear” he felt with Trell, as they seem too strong, and he only has his strangeness to protect him if they turn on him. Not that that would be a problem if you didn’t give them reason to… like creeping on Lena.

So we learn that the people are talking to each other while waiting for Atiaran and give no sign they notice him (so maybe your imagination’s running wild, Covenant?). He doesn’t want to get their attention, so he stays at the edge of the gathering. Lena stays with him and Atiaran gives her a gravelling pot as she goes to the centre of the crowd. After looking over the crowd, Covenant looks at Lena (and we learn that she stands “an inch or two” above his shoulder), and, as might be expected, he creeps on her yet again, noting how the light from the gravelling pot she holds emphasize[s] her breasts”. He says that she’s “clearly unconscious” of this (that’s something, at least), but he feels the effect intensely, and he once again feels an “eager and fearful desire to touch her”. At that, she looks at him with “a solemn softness in her face” that makes his heart lurch and he looks away. When he looks back, Lena is looking away, so he “tighten[s] his jaw” and waits for something to happen.

What purpose does this actually serve? We already know that Covenant is attracted to Lena and that he doesn’t want to act on it, and this isn’t materially different from the earlier ones. I guess the purpose was to keep us tense about it, but that could also have been done by cutting down on the description and exposition (and I’d have really liked it if he’d done that). This is basically filler, and I really don’t think I should be saying that about a scene like this.

Something happens now: the crowd stills as Atiaran goes to stand on a “low stone platform”. She bows her head to the gathering and the people raise their gravelling pots in reply. When that is over and everyone is silent, she begins with a preamble, saying that she feels like “an old woman” tonight, and she doesn’t remember all of the sing she wants to sing. She’ll sing what she knows, though, and she’ll tell the story as she’s done before, so they can share “what lore [she] has”. Some people laugh at this, given how much more she knows. Atiaran keeps silent until the crowd has stilled, then says that she will sing “the legend of Berek Halfhand”, and after another pause, she puts her song into the silence “like a rough and rare jewel”. It’s more than time for that, I find.

So we get the song, which looks quite decent to me. It’s got a rhyme scheme (four stanzas with ABBA, and the last one with ABAAB, and also some internal rhyme), quite some alliteration, and it turns out to flow reasonably well when performed, so it does seem like something that could be sung and remembered well.

Going to the content, the song opens by describing people dying in war, how they “pass like shadows that stain the grass” and their “dreams and stars and whispers” (stars?) all pass. The next stanza talks about Berek, who is “mow[ing] the vile like ripe wheat” in “one red pool about his feet”. He is the last of “all of Beauty’s guarders” to be defeated and to feel “the full despair”, to leave his weapons behind and to flee the battlefield with his half unhanded hand”. Then he is pursued by a “tide” of “[t]reachers” across “the plains of the Land” until he reaches Mount Thunder. Then we get the refrain, which I do want to show in full so you can judge for yourself:

Berek! Earthfriend!—Help and weal,

Battle-aid against the foe!

Earth gives and answers Power’s peal,

Ringing, Earthfriend! Help and heal!

Clean the Land from bloody death and woe!

So that was the song of Berek Halfhand. I do like it (it has nice technique and it tells a story), but it suffers from the same lack of context that’s been plaguing the book so far. After all, we know quite little about Berek; we know some of his epithets, we know that that he was a legendary figure in the past, and we know that some people say he may return. Given that, this song needs to explain quite a bit about him, which it can’t, because of how short it is. The song also seems rather generic, as there isn’t much specific to Berek, and I’m quite sure you could switch out the names and apply the text to another situation about as well. The refrain is a bit better, in that I think it works even without context, but it’s not enough to make the song good for me.

After this song… we get a description of what the song is like, though Donaldson first talks about how good Atiaran can sing. The song “enthrall[s]” Covenant, and her melody is “tapestried with unexpected resonances, implied harmonies, echoes of silent voices”, so it often seems like she’s about to “expand into three or four” separate singers. …I wonder where Atiaran got this technique from; do they offer singing lessons at the Loresraat? Then we switch to a description of the song, and I think this would work better for me if we got to see the description of the relevant part of the song before Atiaran sings us. As it is, you have to see that the description follows and then match it to the lyrics, because otherwise you just have to guess how it’s sung.

The song begins in a “minor mode”, and a “black wind of loss” blows through it, in which things cherished and consecrated throughout the Stonedown seem[] to flicker and go out”. Covenant feels that the whole gathering “[weeps] with the song”. This seems like it would work better in a visual medium, where we can see this happen while the song continues; here, when we don’t get any examples of these “cherished things”, it doesn’t work for me, not to mention that this seems all too dramatic for the song we get.

So Atiaran pauses (which we didn’t know earlier, either) and then begins the refrain, which “carrie[s] her [] in a major modulation” that would be too much for any voice less than hers. At this, the emotion of the gathering instantly changes from “grief to joy and gratitude”. And as she ends the song, the people hold up their gravelling pots and shout “Berek! Earthfriend! Hail!”. I’m not really feeling it, unfortunately; aside from the problems I’ve already named, the constant praise of Atiaran’s singing gets in the way, and the reactions from the audience don’t exactly feel realistic to me, either.

Now that the song’s over, the people lower the pots and crowd in around Atiaran to hear her story. Covenant initially goes along with this, then catches himself. He wants to leave, because he can’t “afford to lose himself” in the impulse of the crowd, but he needs to hear Berek’s story, so he stays where he is. And so we finally begin the story of Berek Halfhand! Atiaran opens with saying there was a “great war in the eldest days”, which she then qualifies. This time was in “the age that marks the beginning of the memory of mankind”, before the Old Lords, before “the Giants came across the Sunbirth Sea to make the alliance of Rockbrothers”, before the Oath of Peace and the Ritual of Desecration. In that time, the Viles who sired the Demondim” were “a high and lofty race”, and the Cavewights were smiths who freely traded their products with the people of the Land. I do like the form of the introduction, but once again, it’s quite incomprehensible to us without the context the in-universe audience has… and we also get another rather ridiculous name in the “Viles”.

The actual story begins in that far-off time, as the Land was “one great nation” back then, which was ruled over by a “King and Queen” (those don’t need capitals). They were quite great and they ruled for many years “in unison and peace”. After a time, though, the King “tasted the power of life and death over those who served him”, and he begin to want it. Soon this “became a lust with him”, and he spent his nights in “dark quests for more power”, while he spends the days exercising it, “becoming hungrier and more cruel as the lust over[comes] him”.

While this sounds fairly convincing, and it’d absolutely be a problem, it doesn’t make much sense in the way it’s presented? I can certainly see the King get accustomed to having power and gradually growing more corrupt, but the way Atiaran tells it, he was never bothered by that until he “tasted the power of life and death” (because the Queen did it before that point?), and once he did, he immediately spiralled into evil. It just feels like there’s something missing to explain why that happened. I also wonder why the King would spend time on “dark quests” for power when he’s already king, unless these quests involved getting magical powers or the like. It just doesn’t quite add up, and I’d expect Atiaran to have done something to smooth over these discrepancies if she’s told this story before. (Donaldson eventually does fill in these gaps, and this story does fit with that, but it just doesn’t make much sense that Atiaran wouldn’t notice anything wrong.)

Well, the Queen was “dismayed” by this and wanted the “health and fealty” of the earlier years back, but “no appeal, no suasion or power of hers” could break “the grip of cruelty” on the King. That rather sounds like he was possessed. Finally, when she saw that “the good of the Land would surely die” if her husband wasn’t stopped, she broke with him and opposed him. This caused war in the Land. Many of those who were hurt by the King stood with the Queen, as did many “who hated murder and loved life”. Chief among the latter was Berek, who was “strongest and wisest” of the Queen’s champions. The fear of the King was on the Land, though, and “whole cities” fought for him, “killing to protect their own slavery”. I rather think they were killing because they were afraid of what the King would to do them if he won and they hadn’t fought with him, so I don’t think this is exactly a fair characterisation of them.

So battle was joined in the Land, and it seemed that the Queen would prevail, since her heroes were “mighty of hand” and Berek was the mightiest among them, and he was said to be “a match for any King”. But during the battle, “a shadow, a gray cloud from the east”, appeared, which Atiaran doesn’t explain further. I think that it it supposed to be clear from context who sent the cloud… Looking at the map, you can see the east is mostly empty and has something called “Foul’s Creche” in it, so presumably Foul has something to do with it, but we still need a clearer indication than that, and I don’t even know if the in-universe audience would understand the reference. In any case, the cloud severely demoralised the Queen’s forces, but the King’s forces found a “power of madness” in it, and went completely berserk. They “chopped and trampled and clawed and bit and maimed and defiled” until they overwhelmed the heroes, and Berek’s comrades fell to despair and died one by one. And so the battle continued until Berek was the last one left alive. That does sound appropriately bad, and I can see why it might have a bad impact on morale (which would be more decisive here).

Berek fought on, though, heedless of the circumstances, and people “fell dead under his sword like autumn leaves in a gale”. Eventually the King himself, “filled with the fear and madness of the shadow”, challenged Berek, and they fought. Berek fought well, but the shadow deflected his blade, and so their contest was balanced until the King “cleft Berek’s hand” with his axe (something else we’re only hearing about just now). At that, Berek looked around him and saw the shadow and the death of all his comrades, and with a great cry of despair”, he fled the battleground.

And so he ran for three days without stopping, and for three days the King’s army came after him, “panting for blood”. At the end of his strength and the peak of his despair, he came to Mount Thunder and lay down on a boulder. We then get some direct dialogue, as Berek despairs, saying that they are overthrown, and have “no friend to redeem [them]”, and [b]eauty shall pass utterly from the Land”. The rock on which he lay then told him that there is a Friend for a heart with the wisdom to see it”. Berek protested that the stones aren’t his friends, since the earth provides support for his enemies. The rock justifies this because Berek’s enemies are as much alive as he is, and they need the ground to stand on. Still, there is a Friend for him in the Earth, “if [he would] pledge [his] soul to its healing”. Berek climbed the rock and saw his enemies closing in, so he decided to take the pledge, sealing it with blood from his hand.

The Earth replied with “great stone Fire-Lions” from the top of the mountain, which laid waste” to the King and his army, and only spared Berek on his boulder. Once the rampage passed, Berek kept his pledge, promising “respect and communion and service for the Earth” from both him and everyone living in the Land after him. From this point, Atiaran summarises the outcome, which once again means that we’re missing context for it, which is very nice. Well, at some point, Berek made the Staff of Law from the wood of the One Tree”, and, wielding “the first Earthpower”, he began to heal the Land with it. In time, he received the name “Heartthew” (which I find a bit of a silly name), and he became “the Lord-Fatherer, the first of the Old Lords”. The people who followed in his path flourished for “two thousand years”, presumably until the Ritual of Desecration. And there the story ends.

Let me first focus on this last bit. I do generally like it, but it’s quite jarring to go from the relative absence of supernatural elements to Berek having a conversation with the Earth (and the sudden shift in perspective is, too). It could fit in, but then there needs to be more to convey how unexpected this is and that it is a big deal. Also, I find the resolution of the war quite unsatisfying. Yes, the King has been killed, but can’t we get to see just how Berek dealt with the aftermath and what happened to the Queen and if the nation continued? That was how the story began, after all, so I’d like to see a conclusion for it, too. For something else… I note that their “eldest days” are some three thousand years ago, which is considerably less than even written history in our world. I do find it an interesting contrast with the massive timescales that the rest of the series will have.

For the tale as a whole, my opinion is generally positive. The above gripes aside, the story is decent, it’s nice to see a legend the people of the Land have, and it gives us a decent introduction to Berek Halfhand. I might wish for more detail, but I can see why Donaldson didn’t feel like writing out a full version.

After the legend, there’s silence for a moment, and then all the Stonedownors close in on Atiaran to “touch her in appreciation”. She hugs as many people as she can, while those who can’t embrace each other, sharing the oneness of their communal response”. These people really are doing a lot together, aren’t they? I doubt that everyone would be willing to hug someone, for example, so this is a bit weirdly written. And here the chapter ends rather abruptly. Let me see… the next chapter opens with Covenant feeling alone because he can’t share in “the spontaneous embracing impulse of the Stonedown”, so I get the strong feeling that the next chapter originally was part of this one, and that Donaldson decided to insert a chapter break here. While I agree that breaking off the next chapter was a good idea, I think it would have been better to break immediately after the legend, or show us some of Covenant’s thoughts on it (which are notably missing here) first. In any case, checking whether the story still flows smoothly would have helped here.

As for the chapter as a whole, I do like some of it, like the song and legend of Berek, the conversation Atiaran has with Covenant (though I’d like to see more of Atiaran’s perspective), and Trell healing the pot. On the other hand, I get the feeling that a third of it could have been removed without much trouble; we don’t need to get extended descriptions of the house (especially when we’ll never come back to it) and of Trell, or the way that Covenant washes himself, or extended praise for Atiaran’s singing abilities. Even without that padding, this chapter barely does anything to advance to plot threads we have in favour of letting us socialise (at arm’s length) with the Stonedownors and giving us even more information to deal with. So… I’m quite unsatisfied with this book so far. Next time, we will get some forward motion, at least, though I doubt anyone will quite like what Donaldson does. Until then!

(no subject)

Tuesday, 17 June 2025 09:40 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
“from a very poor world, where no one [knows] or care[s] about healing stoneware pots”

Bet you this was supposed to be a metaphor. A tremendously clumsy one.

soon he’s impatient for the meal to end, so he can leave and “expand in the night air”

What the hell does that even mean?

They are a “stocky, broad-shouldered breed”,

These are people not cattle, author.

After looking over the crowd, Covenant looks at Lena (and we learn that she stands “an inch or two” above his shoulder), and, as might be expected, he creeps on her yet again, noting how the light from the gravelling pot she holds “emphasize[s] her breasts”.

Dude, no.

What purpose does this actually serve?

None. Author is just airing his creepy tendencies for all the world to see. Again.

“carrie[s] her [] in a major modulation”

These are very specific technical terms which only a professional musician is likely to know. Since when was this jerk an expert on music?

“Foul’s Creche”

The villain runs a daycare centre on the side?

And so he ran for three days without stopping, and

...and immediately dropped dead from exhaustion, heart failure, dehydration, blood loss, or all of the above.

(no subject)

Friday, 20 June 2025 02:39 (UTC)
silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] silveradept
Well, I can't say that I gleaned anything from this chapter, and I'm not sure Covenant did, either. At least from the parts that you've quoted from it, it feels like Donaldson should have gone either in the direction of "this entire ritual is incomprehensible to Covenant, because everyone here hearing of it and participating in it has been doing so all of their lives, and therefore doesn't even know what parts are explicit and what parts have been culturally absorbed so that they fill in the gaps" (which happens when you have a whole bunch of experts doing things together) or "everyone here realizes that they've been practicing this ritual and ritual story thing specifically for this moment, to educate this outsider, and therefore they try their damndest to do the version of the story that's for children hearing all of this / participating in all of this for the very first time." Having a first-time participant other than Covenant would allow for convenient exposition and infodumping through the question of the child or other first-time participant, allowing Covenant to hear the information he needs to without having to interact with anyone.

(If Convenant is musical-theory trained, he might use that language to describe what's happening, but if he isn't, he's more likely to react to the feelings the musical selection chooses - minor keys are meant to unsettle and evoke discontent and discomfort, and their resolution into major is both joy and triumph, both, but also the promise that the discomfort that has been presented by the minor key will resolve into something more pleasing to the ear. And also, that's all very specific to the European and European-derived musical traditions that use those specific modes and scales. If the Land's musical tradition were derived more from China, India, or other East or South Asian traditions, everything about music in that segment could both be wrong and ignorant, which would be very appropriate for Covenant.)

It is nice to see some magic put to use, and it sounds like the legend itself is pretty good as a matter of worldbuilding and storytelling, it's just that it keeps getting interspersed with unnecessary commentary or ogling of someone. As with many of the books of this era, it sounds like this one could have done with some additional editing passes to tighten it up for publication. (As you mentioned in a previous post, though, this book series was rejected many, many times, and I would expect some of those rejections came from someone saying "this needs an editor" and the author refusing.)

(no subject)

Saturday, 21 June 2025 20:53 (UTC)
silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] silveradept
Regarding musical theory, I was unclear. I was trying to convey that it would be interesting if the Land's musical traditions flow from some other mode of musical theory and thinking, where Covenant could be correct in the particulars of how the music went and be entirely wrong about the reasons why it did what it did.

The Land could stand to be more uncanny valley or fully alien to Covenant.

I am glad that he seemed to get the message about editors, at least.
Edited Saturday, 21 June 2025 20:54 (UTC)