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[personal profile] teres

Chapter Twenty-Seven | Table of ContentsChapter Twenty-Nine


SCSF:
A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, Faraday and co. travelled a bit, Faraday distrusted the Sentinels… but then she trusted them again, so that is all fine.

 

For the reader post, Chessy shows “education, not mind control” in action.

Wolfgoddess points out that the Renkins truly should not have all kinds of blankets and such to give away.

PPP: 207

Epistler points out that it makes little sense for the Renkins to have plates, and that they would likely have trenchers instead, so…

PPP: 208

 

Let me do the next chapter, then!

 

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Fernbrake Lake

Well, since I see that they still plan to go through with enchanting Timozel, let me show something that could be used instead:

Timozel, we are going to Fernbrake Lake. You can come with us if you want to, but that will be quite dangerous. If you want to stay here, we will be back in a few days, and you should be perfectly safe. If you want to accompany Faraday, please leave your axe behind here and do not tell anyone you are an Axe-Wielder, because that would put you in danger. We will provide a story for you to stick to.”

Instead, we open some “hours before dawn” on the next day (so the 17th of October). Yr stands up from Timozel’s side and looks around. Jack, with his staff, waits nearby. They look at each other, but do not say anything. Yr then looks down on the sleeping Timozel, his face “boyish in repose”. Then she puts her hand over his face, “fingertips at his temples, thumb on the point of his chin”.

Um… I do not think that works quite as Douglass thinks it does. Using my own hand, I cannot quite bend it enough to touch something with both fingertips, like Yr does. I am not the best example for this, naturally, but this seems impossible.

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 28

Blue light comes from her fingertips. She glances at Jack, who puts the knob of his staff on the back of her hand. The light becomes twenty times as bright, and they both squint. Jack silently says something, while Yr concentrates intensely.

Faraday watches from a distance. She thinks about “[p]oor Timozel”, who is stuck in an adventure he did not want. Now he is “[u]nwillingly subjected to an enchantment about which he [knows] nothing and that he [will] loathe and fear if he [does] know”. Yes, he indeed is. Thinking on this further… I think that Douglass wants to frame this as a “hard decision” that needs to be made. The trouble, of course, is that this is not the only way, so it comes off as insincere.

Faraday feels nervous about the coming day, and she wonders why the Prophecy came to life during “hers and Axis’ lifetimes”. Someone then says that it is precisely because it is their lifetimes, and she notices Jack looking at her. She wonders if he has “invaded her head as well”. Well, it certainly looks like it!

Give Me a Piece of Your Mind: 11

Still, the Sentinels can apparently use telepathy! That might come in very handy! (So it will not be used when necessary, I presume.) Well, Timozel’s breathing slows until he only breathes once per minute. Yr gets up, dresses, and puts her hair in a “knot behind her neck”. Faraday walks up to Yr and asks what they have done to Timozel. Yr looks at her and we have a note that Faraday looks “drawn and pale”.

Yr explains that she, with the help of Jack’s staff, has put Timozel “slightly outside the normal flow of time”. Consequently, what would be a further three hours of sleep for him will now be “three days, if not more”. He will wake without feeling like he has slept so long. Oh, that is another very helpful ability! It would be nice if that were used.

Also… if Yr has slowed Timozel’s time by some twenty-four times, and his heart beats once a minute now, he apparently has a heart-rate of 24 in rest. Taking a quick look, I see that that is not exactly usual, so I think saying his heart beat every half minute (and him having a heart-rate of 48), is quite more reasonable.

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 29 (what is the trouble in looking this up, Douglass?)

Faraday asks if he will be alright, and how he will keep warm if it rains or snows. Yr hushes her, and says they are well within the Lake’s protection by now. The Lake knows they are coming, and that “Timozel, the pigs and the mule” need the same protection as they do. The Lake will protect them until the others return. Timozel will stay warm, the mule and pigs will stay “close by”, and the “worst of the weather” will be deflected.

Faraday asks what Yr means by calling the Lake “she”. Jack then comes up, and gives them their cloaks, as it is near freezing. He tells them to come, since “The Mother” awaits. Faraday then asks somewhat nervously what that is.

Jack just smiles, and asks if she remembers how scared she was before she want into the Chamber of the Star Gate. Faraday nods. Um, she did not feel that at all; I just checked!

PPP: 209

He then asks if she also remembers how she felt looking into the Star Gate. She nods again and thinks she will never let it fade. Jack continues that the Star Gate is “one of the most magical and powerful places” of Tencendor. Fernbrake Lake, or the Mother, as it was once known, is another. She is caught up in an adventure she “did not ask for and did not want”, but she is still witnessing wonders that no Acharite has seen for almost a thousand years! I… guess that might be enough for Faraday; for myself, I would not know.

Faraday thinks on his words, and the “stress lines” on her face ease. She has seen the Star Gate, after all, and even if she does not see it again, it is enough to know it exists. She then says to Yr that she knows so little, and will Yr tell her more about Tencendor? (I do like that Faraday wants to do this because of the wonders she saw.)

Yr says she will gladly. Today they will see a part of Tencendor that lives much like it did before “the Seneschal started to murder this beautiful land”. Jack then tells them to come because they need to do much climbing. Faraday and Yr put on their packs, and Faraday goes over to Timozel. She touches his cheek and tells him to “[r]est well” and that she will come back safely. That is quite sweet.

Jack packs up, too, and sends Yr ahead to lead Faraday onto the trail. He then puts his hand over Timozel’s face and reads his mind.

Give Me a Piece of Your Mind: 12

After a moment he removes his hand, puzzled. He considers (and he actually has blond hair, I see. For some reason I imagined him with brown hair). Veremund told him what he found in Timozel in the Silent Woman Keep: a good heart, shadowed with unhappiness, with “troubled choices” in the future. Jack has found all of that, but there is also a “taint of something strange” that he cannot identify. That makes him “very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable indeed”.

Then… you might want to investigate further before leaving Timozel alone for possibly days? After all, he might well come to kill you if you are unfortunate. Oh, that also reminds me:

Ill Logic: 150 (+5)

Morals for Thee But Not for Me: 87

Jack, however, just hurries after Yr and Faraday. Again he wishes he had led them into any Barrow other than the ninth one. He cannot “deny the Prophecy”, however, and “none of the marked could ever evade the Prophet’s hand”. That is quite ominous! I might expect someone to note the Prophet’s danger and do something about it… but I wonder if that will happen.

This Is What the Mystery: 21

There is a scene break. They climb “solidly” until the sun rises above the mountains ahead of them. They have no breath left for talking once they begin to “bend their backs into” the mountain path. For a long time, only their boots can be heard. Once the sun has risen well above the mountains, Jack calls a halt.

PPP: 210 (I doubt that “bend their backs into” is the right phrase to use here)

Yr and Faraday go to sit against the wall of the path. Faraday wonders “vaguely” if Tencendor’s wonders exist on the “very top” or on the very bottom of the world. Yr then reads Faraday’s mind again.

Give Me a Piece of Your Mind: 13

She says that all the other places “have been destroyed”, and only those on the top and bottom have survived. Faraday closes her eyes, and thinks she will never get used to the mind-reading. Yr pats Faraday’s hand, and says they do not do it “all the time”, since they try to be polite. If you truly wish to be polite, you might do better to set down some rules about it with Faraday, I think.

Faraday wants to know what kind of thoughts Yr picked up in the palace. Yr (who was apparently grinning) says that it were “not always pretty ones”. …That does not answer what Faraday asked. She thinks about “some of the more irksome and surprising” knowledge she picked up, as well as the “troubling secrets” she gathered at the Tower of the Seneschal. She thanks the Mother that Axis is away from the Seneschal for now. Just maybe his journey north can show him “some of the lies that envelop[] him” and he can find his own truths.

Cut to Jack, who watches them. He is “immensely relieved that they [have] been able to leave Timozel behind”. When he and the other Sentinels talked about “spiriting Faraday away to Borneheld”, they wanted to train her as much as possible before “events over[take] them”. However, he and Yr were “severely restrained by Timozel’s presence”, and Faraday still needs to go on the path of the Prophecy.

Then what was to stop you from telling her things via telepathy, or from explaining to Timozel that you are going to train her? You decided Timozel would make it impossible to train her without even trying, and… why would you constrain yourself so much?

Ill Logic: 151

He then gives out “thick slices of ham, crunchy currant biscuits, and tawny, dried summer apples”. If Timozel was “an unplanned nuisance”, he says, then Thedithe has “served her purpose” much better than he hoped. She certainly has, by supplying all kinds of impossible stuff!

PPP: 212

And for the “unplanned nuisance” comment:

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 38

He now tells Yr to talk about the “Sacred Lakes” while they have breakfast. Faraday is amazed and asks if Fernbrake Lake is one of them. Yr confirms it, while “nibbl[ing]” on an apple core. She says there are four of them. Fernbrake is one of them. Can Faraday guess the others?

Well, here is the newest version of the map. Can you guess?


Faraday instead thinks about how delicious the ham is, and she wonders what it is smoked over, and suggests “dried pig manure”. She thinks about it quite hard and forms a clear image in her mind. Jack spits out his last bit of him. Faraday lets go and “laugh[s] delightedly, clapping her hands like a small child”. The Sentinels “look[] wryly” at each other, and think they are caught. Faraday laughs they were [n]ot polite”. That was somewhat funny, and I like how Faraday found this out!

Yr “represse[s] a smile” and reiterates her previous question. Faraday concentrates and comes up with the Cauldron Lake. Timozel told her “how strange it was”, so it must be one of them. Yr “incline[s] her head in agreement”, and says there is one Faraday knows “even better”.

Faraday is confused for a bit, but then… she thinks it is “Grail Lake”! Yr says it is exactly. Grail Lake has “buried its enchantment” deep in the past hundreds of years, though, because it has been “the most exposed to the works of man”, and to the eeeevil Seneschal. Faraday asks what the fourth Lake is.

Jack says it “lies far to the north”, and he thinks it is the most beautiful of them all. (Hm, I think I see what this refers to. Why can Douglass not do things like this more often?) Faraday asks Yr why the lakes are sacred. There is a random bit about Yr eating a currant biscuit, and she answers that each of them has their “own purpose” and secrets. Today, or maybe tomorrow, Faraday can see why the Avar “particularly revere the Mother”.

Can you never answer a straight question, Yr? Also, if you are so bothered about Timozel holding Faraday’s “training” up, I think you would do well to tell her as much as you can!

Faraday then remembers what Veremund told her about the Avar, the “people of the forest”. He called the Icarii “the people of the Wing”, and now Jack has told her that the Icarii have wings! So she asks Yr that, since the Icarii are called “the people of the Wing” and they actually have wings, what the Avar look like if they are “the people of the forest”. Do they have leaves for hair, for example?

I think this would have worked as well with the first half of the paragraph cut out.

Hand-Holding: 17

Yr and Jack just laugh at her suggestion. She literally does not know! Why are you laughing at her suggestion? If you do not want her to say such things, you should have taught her, you idiots! I quite hate them. Jack just says that it is “hardly that” and says it is time they get moving again.

Well, just as they climb further, Faraday remembers what Veremund said further about the Avar, “that perhaps they could speak to the trees”. She looks around the “slopes of the Bracken Ranges”. They are called that because of the dense ferns that cover the lower part, but now Faraday wonders if the region around Fernbrake Lake has larger plant life. She gets a bit nervous again. We are told that until now, her “entire life [] had revolved” around fear of the forest and its creatures (I doubt it was her entire life, but alright), and despite her wonder at the Star Gate, it was not easy to let go of such ingrained fear”.

Well, good to see that Douglass actually acknowledges that! I would hope it goes beyond lip service, but I do not quite know. We now have a scene break, and we pick up with Timozel. Oh, this.

While he is “caught in his enchantment”, he dreams like with the Renkins. Again he walks down the ice tunnel, terrified and not in control of himself, and again he approaches the heavy wooden door. Again the voice tells him to enter and his hand closes on the latch, which then twists open. Oh, so that is because the other person opens it! He screams “no”, but the latch keeps moving and then the “door lock [gives] way”. Just as the door begins to open, “his mind let[s] go” and he falls asleep again.

That went further than the time before, and it is certainly unsettling. The nasty thing is that Timozel cannot adequately defend himself, not even by waking up. Given the amount of pettiness we have already seen toward Timozel, this comes off… quite badly. I will not mark Douglass for this, but I do suggest that she might not have wanted to put everything on Timozel.

(I do want to praise the “unsettling” part, though. I am quite convinced, especially by Threshold, that she could have done quite well as a horror writer.)

Cut back to Faraday and co. After hours of climbing, they top a ridge and see Fernbrake Lake: “a vast circular body of emerald water almost completely filling the collapsed peak of a mountain”. Is that “collapsed peak” supposed to be a caldera? Either way, this is misleading, since Fernbrake Lake fills an impact crater, and I do not think that a mountain peak would “collapse” when hit.

PPP: 213

Massive ferns, as high as humans, surround much of the lake, but at one end, there is a “stand of massive trees” which towers “into the dark and cloudy sky”. Jack leads them down the ridge to “a smooth, well-grassed area” between the trees and the lake. Ooh, this all sounds like a nice place to be in!

They go onto a steep path “hemmed in by the tall tree ferns”. Faraday is “subdued”. Fernbrake Lake may be beautiful, but it is not as wonderful as Jack and Yr told her. She certainly thinks it is nothing like the Star Gate. She is also “depressed at the sight of the trees”, as they recall the vision for her and she does not think she can bear another. Yr now smiles to reassure her. Yr said that she will come to love the trees more than life itself, but she thinks it will “take all her efforts simply to learn to accept them”. Even the “myriad birds” that call from the ferns do not calm her.

Oh, I like this quite a bit! Naturally she will not be ready for the tees quite yet, and I am pleased that that is acknowledged. I further just like that she is not willing to trust the Sentinels on this yet. Finally, I see that she thinks accepting the trees is an option, which I quite approve of.

It takes them nearly an hour to climb down the path and go along the lake to the clear area before the trees. The clearing extends “some fifty paces” from the lake, and forms “an almost perfect crescent”. Yr explains that it is a “very sacred spot” for the Avar, since they revere—

Jack says that he does not think she will need to explain, while he looks at the tree line. He thinks that, for once, “[their] luck has turned for the better” (yes yes, it is “bad luck”), as the Mother “has an Avar Bane in attendance”. Oh, then we can finally see one of the Avar again!

Yr and Faraday look at the spot Jack looks at. Yr is suitably awed. Faraday can see nothing for a while, and then, as he eyes adjust, “a man, carrying a small child, walk[s] into the cold daylight of the clearing”. There we have them! (This will be interesting, I think.)

Cut back to Timozel, who is again trapped in his dream at the point he left off, with the door slowly opening. He finally manages to pull his hand off the latch to prevent being “pull[ed] precipitously” into the room beyond it. The being that opens the door stand behind it, and all he can see is “his shadow stretching across the ice floor”. Even the “ill-defined shape of the shadow”, though, is enough for him to break free “from the power that [holds] him” and escape again.

There the chapter ends. That was… quite a bit better than I thought it would be! I think it helps that the story is going somewhere now. Until next time, then!

 

(no subject)

Monday, 2 September 2024 00:39 (UTC)
chessybell_90: Kitten from Petz 5 (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] chessybell_90
Okay, I just checked and while I can sort of touch the chin and both temples it's not with my fingertips and I have to push on my hand to get the position right. I'm thinking Douglass didn't know where the temples are. (They're the bit that bulges when you clench your teeth.)




The ice tunnel unraveled, invaded by the scent of summer grain. "Come on now, best you wake up," someone said.

Timozel struggled awake, blinking at the tall stranger. "Who are you?" he asked.

"Name for name," the stranger replied. "Who are you?"

"I am Timozel," Timozel answered.

"I am Ceolmund," the other replied. "Tell me, did you encounter two women and a man before dropping off to sleep?"

"Other then my travelling companions?"

Ceolmund thought for a long moment. "I should think it unlikely. Jack, Yr, and Faraday?"

"Yes," Timozel said. "Did something happen to them?"

Ceolmund huffed. "Those two won't have allowed anything to happen. It might cast doubt on their vaunted prophecy."

"The one from the keep?" Timozel asked.

"In Silent Woman? The very same," Ceolmund replied. "Tell me, was ought amiss there?"

"Yes, actually," Timozel said slowly, "It was incredibly dirty, and there were only two brothers. Why didn't I notice before?"

"I wish it were otherwise," Ceolmund said, "but it is likely that those were not brothers at all but instead two more of Jack and Yr's comrades. That lot is both unmannered and impatient, and prefers to subvert wills instead of converting them. Likely because convincing people to do as you ask requires manners," he added with a wry smile.

"Is Faraday in danger?" Timozel asked hurriedly.

"Less so then you are," Ceolmund stated.

Timozel started for but a moment. "Am I bespelled?"

Ceolmund nodded. "Do you wish me to remove them?"

Timozel looked at him warily. "Why would you offer such a thing?"

"Because I hate the prophecy," Ceolmund snarled, "and wish it utterly destroyed.

He looked as shocked by his outburst as Timozel felt. "What does freeing me from enchantment have to do with the prophecy?" Timozel asked bewilderedly.

Ceolmund breathed deeply, running his fingers through his hair, and answered. "As you are now, you would not play the part the prophecy assigned you. The enchantments, which to be fair were not all laid by your travelling companions, would have warped you until you happily performed your role."

Timozel shuddered. "Remove them. Please."

"Gladly," Ceolmund replied, reaching out to pluck at invisible strands. "They may take some time to unravel, perhaps we might converse?"




By the end of that conversation Timozel is a), fully on board with screwing over the Sentinels and b), mulling over the question of why the Forbidden are forbidden.

(no subject)

Monday, 2 September 2024 16:26 (UTC)
chessybell_90: Kitten from Petz 5 (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] chessybell_90
Ceolmund is of the firm conviction that if you have to use underhanded methods to get people onboard with your plan, your plan is bad and should be discarded. This one of many reasons he wants to screw over the Sentinels.

His primary reason is that the Sentinels screwed him over in the name of ensuring the Prophecy when he was in a vulnerable position. (Ceolmund means protector, and it is a very meaningful name.)

(no subject)

Monday, 2 September 2024 11:25 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
Okay, I just checked and while I can sort of touch the chin and both temples it's not with my fingertips and I have to push on my hand to get the position right.

I just tried it too and couldn't really do it, or at least not in a way that felt natural or comfortable.

Mini spitefic


*applause* See, that's SO much better (it's "aught", by the way). It gives Timozel his agency back, for one thing.

Like I said in my own comment, characters shouldn't do things because they're being forced or manipulated into it... unless it's depicted as a bad thing which they at least try to resist

I even had a scenario just like it in one of my own books. The protagonist is manipulated into becoming an inspirational figure of rebellion without his knowledge or consent, and when he finds out what's going on he's pissed. He isn't even a naturally rebellious person; in fact he's a people pleaser by nature. But he tells the manipulator to fuck off all the same. When he ultimately does join the guy's cause, it's only when he's ready and after the latter has apologised and accepted that what he did was wrong, and the protagonist has forgiven him. A hero is something you grow to become, not a role chosen for you, or something you're just born as.

By the end of that conversation Timozel is a), fully on board with screwing over the Sentinels and b), mulling over the question of why the Forbidden are forbidden.

And we also get someone actually examining their prejudices instead of instantly "snapping out of it" because of mind control or whatever. Huzzah! It's so cheap how later on in this trilogy we get bullshit lines like "the Icarii were discovering that many of their prejudices against humans were as mistaken as the humans' prejudices and beliefs about them", none of which is ever explored. What prejudices? No idea, because the author couldn't be bothered to tell us.
It's like she always just wants the easy way out and doesn't stop to consider how that makes her characters look (ie BAD) or her worldbuilding and plotting (ie really really lazy).

(no subject)

Monday, 2 September 2024 15:17 (UTC)
chessybell_90: Kitten from Petz 5 (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] chessybell_90
What's kind of funny is that while if the question was put to Ceolmund directly he'd agree that mind controlling people was wrong the morality of it isn't his primary reason for disapproving of it. His primary reason for disapproving of mind control is that it's rude, and also a sign your plan is bad.

In regards to 'ought amiss' versus 'aught amiss', 'ought amiss' is the older phrasing (and the one I learned, I'm not sure I'd seen 'aught amiss' until I double-checked my use of 'ought' yesterday) and Ceolmund isn't meant to be fully up to date on the current usage as he's very old. So Ceolmund using it isn't an error, but Timozel or Faraday using it would be.
Edited Monday, 2 September 2024 16:11 (UTC)

(no subject)

Monday, 2 September 2024 23:48 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
In regards to 'ought amiss' versus 'aught amiss', 'ought amiss' is the older phrasing (and the one I learned, I'm not sure I'd seen 'aught amiss' until I double-checked my use of 'ought' yesterday) and Ceolmund isn't meant to be fully up to date on the current usage as he's very old. So Ceolmund using it isn't an error, but Timozel or Faraday using it would be.

Huh, I had no idea! Nice touch.

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 01:15 (UTC)
chessybell_90: Kitten from Petz 5 (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] chessybell_90
Thanks!

(no subject)

Monday, 2 September 2024 11:13 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
“Timozel, we are going to Fernbrake Lake. You can come with us if you want to, but that will be quite dangerous. If you want to stay here, we will be back in a few days, and you should be perfectly safe. If you want to accompany Faraday, please leave your axe behind here and do not tell anyone you are an Axe-Wielder, because that would put you in danger. We will provide a story for you to stick to.”

Yeah, that's a thousand times better. They treat him like complete shit when he doesn't deserve it, and I hate it. And it's just one of many examples of Douglass not caring about the autonomy of her characters. Even Axis and Faraday don't get free choice or consent.

Blue light comes from her fingertips.

And none of the Sentinels will ever do this again, or anything resembling it. We keep being told how powerful they are, but they do nothing with their powers after book one. Another recurring theme; a character is "so powerful", yet they don't do anything with said power. StarDrifter for example, didn't need to be an Enchanter in the first place. Nor does Faraday need to have magical powers because she never uses them; any time she should be using them, they get cancelled out somehow.

Faraday feels nervous about the coming day, and she wonders why the Prophecy came to life during “hers and Axis’ lifetimes”.

And that's just bad grammar.

She wonders if he has “invaded her head as well”. Well, it certainly looks like it!

But, as with the Limp Dick messing with Kiragon's mind, she just forgets all about this and isn't freaked out.

Timozel will stay warm, the mule and pigs will stay “close by”, and the “worst of the weather” will be deflected.

But if a wolf or a bear happens by, what then?

Faraday asks what Yr means by calling the Lake “she”.

Because every magical non-living thing in this series, such as the creepy annoying talking bridge, is female.

He tells them to come, since “The Mother” awaits.

Faraday, thinking that this is referring to her recently deceased mother, immediately becomes filled with wild hope followed by tears of renewed grief and despair when that hope is dashed. Except not because she's already forgotten all about her.

Jack continues that the Star Gate is “one of the most magical and powerful places” of Tencendor.

This seems as good a time as any to mention that I went through all three books and did another count.

BattleAxe:
Powerful - 46 uses
Power - 77 uses

Enchanter:
Powerful - 67
Power - 132

StarMan:
Powerful - 65
Power - 281 (!!!)

So yeah, it's just as bad as "beautiful" if not worse. Cripes.

She touches his cheek and tells him to “[r]est well” and that she will come back safely. That is quite sweet.

Which is sad given how quickly and completely she loses any and all sympathy for the poor bastard later on. In fact I'd go so far as to say it's her fault he ends up where he does in book three.

He cannot “deny the Prophecy”, however, and “none of the marked could ever evade the Prophet’s hand”. That is quite ominous!

It's extremely ominous and the fact that it just goes blithely ignored is really really gross.

Don't you just "love" how so many fantasy novels (Inheritance for example) are all "Grrr slavery bad, bad guy is bad because he enslaves people!" yet in the same breath act like having your free will taken away from you by a prophecy or some other outside force is a GOOD thing, or at least something you should just ignore or learn to accept. It's such a repugnant double standard.

They have no breath left for talking once they begin to “bend their backs into” the mountain path.

It's "PUT your backs into it", stupid. Isn't this the second time she's made this exact same mistake?

She says that all the other places “have been destroyed”, and only those on the top and bottom have survived. Faraday closes her eyes, and thinks she will never get used to the mind-reading. Yr pats Faraday’s hand, and says they do not do it “all the time”, since they try to be polite. If you truly wish to be polite, you might do better to set down some rules about it with Faraday, I think.

Reading people's minds without asking isn't polite?! THAT'S your reason for not doing it, rather than the fact that is' a horrible violation?? That's just so wrong.

I actually have a character who can get into people's minds and see their thoughts and go through all their most private memories if she wants to. Guess what? She does this maybe twice, early on, and even though the victim is someone she doesn't like and thinks is a horrible person she's so disturbed and upset by what she's done that she vows never to use her powers again. She also very rightly thinks that even a bad man like him deserves his privacy, and when he later asks anxiously if she's reading his mind right now, she says no absolutely not and promises not to do it again. A promise she keeps. Because, you know, she's actually a good person.

But nope, these "heroes" couldn't possibly give less of a rat's rear.

If the side you're fighting for condones behaviour like this, it's time to stop and ask yourself whether it's a side you should be on.

they wanted to train her as much as possible before “events over[take] them”.

Train her in what, exactly? They don't train her at all! All they do other than take her to meet the Mother is manipulate her into doing what they want.

If this were a better book, Faraday wouldn't just sit here and take this crap. She'd realise the Sentinels are horrible and get the fuck away from them. If a character is going to save the world, it shouldn't be because they were manipulated or forced into it. It should be because they naturally developed into the person who is ready and willing to do it. Otherwise the hero loses their agency and therefore isn't really a hero at all but rather a puppet who isn't motivated by noble goals or ideals (Axis certainly doesn't give two shits about the people he's allegedly fighting to save) but is just following a predetermined script. And I hate it.

You can have deep themes of destiny and such without resorting to this sort of thing. You really can.

If Timozel was “an unplanned nuisance”, he says, then Thedithe has “served her purpose” much better than he hoped. She certainly has, by supplying all kinds of impossible stuff!

Are those farmers supposed to be poor? Because if so they shouldn't have all this fancy food. And I also really hate how they're treating poor Timozel, like his ignorance is his fault. And indeed, keeping him ignorant will directly lead to his downfall. These guys are just getting worse and worse.

Faraday lets go and “laugh[s] delightedly, clapping her hands like a small child”.

Is this really the time or place for this sort of behaviour? Also, Faraday? YOUR MOTHER DIED HORRIBLY IN FRONT OF YOU. A LOT of people died. So why are you carrying on like this?

And if Jackass is this old and has been posing as a swineherd how would he not already know this?

Jack says it “lies far to the north”, and he thinks it is the most beautiful of them all.

STOP CALLING EVERYTHING 'BEAUTIFUL' FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Can you never answer a straight question, Yr?

Nope, because she is a Jive-Talking Wizard.

Also, if you are so bothered about Timozel holding Faraday’s “training” up, I think you would do well to tell her as much as you can!

Ah yes the "training" that never happens. Unless you count Yr sort of maybe teaching her mind-reading later on.

An ability, by the way, that she does not need to do her job and only uses maybe twice.

“it was not easy to let go of such ingrained fear”.

Except it totally is. Also, show don't tell. Because you show us the exact opposite.

Again he walks down the ice tunnel, terrified and not in control of himself,

Ah, the "bad" mind control, which is totally different from the "good" mind control.

This also sort of brings up another problem, which is that Gorgrael's powers are never properly defined. It's never made clear what he can and cannot do.

They go onto a steep path “hemmed in by the tall tree ferns”

Treeferns, by the way, are a plant native to Australia and probably wouldn't grow in this climate.

“pull[ed] precipitously”

This is not the time for cutesy alliteration, Douglass. We didn't need the adjective anyway.

And this whole dream thing actually does a decent job of making Gorgrael sound scary... except that in practise the guy is comically stupid and ineffectual.

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 00:02 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
SCSF: It also makes them look quite silly for not using their powers when necessary, not to mention that I imagine quite a bit of the point of making them so powerful in the first place is to show it off.

Yeah, half the point of powerful characters is seeing them do badass stuff with their powers, and the other half is that they use them to get shit done.

That is one way of trying to be feminist?

If so then it failed miserably because having a literal inanimate object be female is sexist as hell.

I guess Fernbrake would try to send them away... or it would just be bad luck.

And you just know Jackass and Yeeerrr would either shrug it off or be actively pleased they don't have to put up with him any more.

The fact that WolfStar is somehow not a Big Bad at some point is also quite bad; there truly should have been some confrontation.

He's the only active villain in the whole thing yet gets sidelined and the bastard never gets a comeuppance despite this entire thing being his fault. Gorgrael is just an ineffectual pawn.

I think she said something about Timozel "putting his entire shoulders" into something. Here, I could find something for "bend your back" to mean "make great physical effort", but I did not find "bend your back into [something]".

As someone once put it, misusing idioms like this makes it look like you don't speak English.

Maybe they wanted to train her in... well, I do not know, since she only gets her powers at the Mother. Maybe they wanted to teach her history?

Which isn't training and who cares if Timmy hears? Dude might have been a useful ally if nothing else.

Now that you say it... it is quite out of place tonally. I will add that in, too.

Throwing in unfunny childish shit like this is another Douglass trademark. Later on she has a GOD "clap her hands like a small child" as well.

Whose powers are?

What do you mean?

That is something I am willing to forgive, especially since this is so close to Fernbrake that the Lake might magically support them.

Ah yes, the lazy fantasy author's motto - when in doubt, MAGIC.

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 06:59 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
SCSF: Hmm, I thought the fate he received in Crusader was somewhat satisfying... At the least we did not have to put up with him any more.

Too little too late, and ultimately far too silly.

Well, there is hardly shame in, say, having learned it as a second language, but, as far as I know, Douglass did not, so I wonder why this happened. (Also, this is where the editor should have worked.)

Oh certainly not, but she came from an English speaking background so she has no excuse.

I meant "Whose powers are clearly defined?", since I cannot think of anyone right now.

Ha, good point. The only limitations Axis seems to have on his magic is no using magic to kill people, and he can't heal people but only "recreate the dying". Which is never explained.

(no subject)

Monday, 2 September 2024 17:24 (UTC)
chessybell_90: Kitten from Petz 5 (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] chessybell_90
I dare say Douglass is handing out powers out of supposed obligation instead of narrative necessity. ('Fantasy has magic users, right?')

To be strictly fair, a sizable sounder of adult pigs is able to run off most predators. But yes, they should say that.

'People should have free will, except when they use it to reject what I think best for them!'

Yeah, I hate that too. It's very classist and elitist, and it's a very dangerous attitude to promote. (If God doesn't override people's free will to get them to do what's best for them, what right do we have?)

You know, I think they're using manufactured urgency to convince her she doesn't have time to question them. This is a tactic used by scammers, because someone who's rushing is far less likely to notice the holes in their claims.

Which explains why they haven't been trying to work around Timozel - that might give Faraday time to think!

(no subject)

Monday, 2 September 2024 19:34 (UTC)
chessybell_90: Kitten from Petz 5 (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] chessybell_90
You're welcome!

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 00:17 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
I dare say Douglass is handing out powers out of supposed obligation instead of narrative necessity. ('Fantasy has magic users, right?')

That does make sense, unfortunately. The magic system in this thing is REALLY poorly thought out.

To be strictly fair, a sizable sounder of adult pigs is able to run off most predators. But yes, they should say that.

Yeah, because your average reader isn't likely to know this. I didn't.

Yeah, I hate that too. It's very classist and elitist, and it's a very dangerous attitude to promote.

100% this. You're infantalising your characters when you treat them like this because you're essentially saying they don't know what's good for them and are too stupid to figure things out for themselves. Paolini did much the same thing with his Varden assholes choosing the new ruler without bothering to consult the people or giving a damn what they think. It's not even considered or suggested, not even by Eragon, who has already had the gall to call himself "the champion of the people" - a position they at NO point put him in. Because he never even interacts with them. He just arrogantly assumes he's fighting for them when in reality he's fighting to put Nausea on the throne.

You know, I think they're using manufactured urgency to convince her she doesn't have time to question them. This is a tactic used by scammers, because someone who's rushing is far less likely to notice the holes in their claims.

Ha, that's true. You just have to look at the contents of my spam folder. URGENT! YOUR COMPUTER IS DAMAGED! $10,000 HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM YOUR APPLE ACCOUNT! etc etc. If someone is trying to put you on the spot to make a decision and won't let you go away and think about it is 100% trying to rip you off. I had a "charity collector" accost me who kept insisting I give them money immediately and kept dodging questions such as "do you have a website". He pretended they were going to pack up their stall in a minute so there wasn't enough time.
Half an hour later they were of course still there. Collecting funding for a supplementary medicine that didn't even have a name.

Anyway, that's exactly what Jackass and Yr are doing, including the evasiveness. It's so sleazy. Not to mention unnecessary.

Which explains why they haven't been trying to work around Timozel - that might give Faraday time to think!

Even as stupid as she is, sooner or later she probably would have started to put two and two together. Can't have that; then she might start - GASP - thinking for herself and making her own decisions. The horror.
Edited Tuesday, 3 September 2024 00:18 (UTC)

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 01:23 (UTC)
chessybell_90: Kitten from Petz 5 (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] chessybell_90
It's as if on some level they know they aren't really the good guys.

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 01:27 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
It's awfully telling, isn't it? I wonder if they justify it to themselves because they're "just following the Prophet's orders." (Poorly).

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 02:41 (UTC)
chessybell_90: Kitten from Petz 5 (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] chessybell_90
Given their claim that the Prophecy 'must be followed', yes. Yes they do.

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 03:49 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
We will later learn via a flashback that the Sentinels are incredibly gullible - all the Prophet had to do was just randomly show up and tell them about the stupid Prophecy and they instantly believed the random stranger and started crying and volunteering to make sure the stupid thing came true. By any means necessary, it would seem. Whether the Prophet told them exactly how to go about it is unknown, but given what an evil piece of shit he is it would make sense if he straight-up instructed them to be underhanded and cruel.

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 05:48 (UTC)
chessybell_90: Kitten from Petz 5 (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] chessybell_90
... So I already knew Ceolmund had gotten screwed over by the Sentinels and that it involved a deal they broke after he was indebted to them, but now I'm thinking they might not have even had the fig leaf of 'We meant unless it conflicts with the Prophecy' as an explanation.

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 08:15 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
I definitely think they're malicious and stupid.

(no subject)

Monday, 2 September 2024 14:08 (UTC)
wolfgoddess77: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] wolfgoddess77
- Last time, Faraday and co. travelled a bit, Faraday distrusted the Sentinels… but then she trusted them again, so that is all fine.

Hello, conflict! Goodbye, conflict! It's not even like it was legitimately resolved, either! Who needs conflict when you have mind control, and can make your characters just forget all about the problem?

- I think that Douglass wants to frame this as a “hard decision” that needs to be made. The trouble, of course, is that this is not the only way, so it comes off as insincere.

What's more, it's clear that neither Jackass or Yr have any problems with doing this. It's not a hard decision if you easily make up your mind to do it and don't put up any kind of resistance.

- Someone then says that it is precisely because it is their lifetimes, and she notices Jack looking at her. She wonders if he has “invaded her head as well”. Well, it certainly looks like it!

STOP THAT. You have no right to read her mind! It would be one thing if he couldn't help it; like, when he comes within a certain proximity of someone, their thoughts creep into his mind whether he wants them to or not, but I get the feeling that he's actively snooping, and has no problems with doing so.

- Yr gets up, dresses, and puts her hair in a “knot behind her neck”

Yr is a nudist, isn't she? That's the only explanation I can come up with for why she's naked all the time.

- Faraday walks up to Yr and asks what they have done to Timozel.

Too late now! You could have asked this before they did all this. For all you know, they just scrambled his brain and turned him into a vegetable for the rest of his life!

- Taking a quick look, I see that that is not exactly usual, so I think saying his heart beat every half minute (and him having a heart-rate of 48), is quite more reasonable.

Congratulations, morons, you just gave him hypoxia. Now he really will be a vegetable.

- The Lake knows they are coming, and that “Timozel, the pigs and the mule” need the same protection as they do.

...I know what Douglass was getting at here, saying that the ones left behind would be safe, but I don't like that Timozel is lumped together with the animals. It just feels like they're insulting him. I dunno, maybe I'm reading too much into it.

- Today they will see a part of Tencendor that lives much like it did before “the Seneschal started to murder this beautiful land”.

Dramatic, much? Sure, there might not be any big forests, but the land is hardly dead.

- Yr then reads Faraday’s mind again.

FUCKING STOP THAT, OH MY GOD! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

- Cut to Jack, who watches them. He is “immensely relieved that they [have] been able to leave Timozel behind”.

...why do I get the feeling that Jackass is secretly plotting to throw Timozel off the side of the mountain or something?

- Faraday lets go and “laugh[s] delightedly, clapping her hands like a small child”. The Sentinels “look[] wryly” at each other, and think they are caught. Faraday laughs they were “[n]ot polite”.

Yyyyyep. Much like Edward Cullen, I get the feeling that these people believe they have every right to know what other people are thinking. Who cares about privacy?

- Can you never answer a straight question, Yr? Also, if you are so bothered about Timozel holding Faraday’s “training” up, I think you would do well to tell her as much as you can!

Nope. It's much more important to be cryptic, even if it infuriates the readers (which it is. A lot).

- Yr and Jack just laugh at her suggestion. She literally does not know! Why are you laughing at her suggestion? If you do not want her to say such things, you should have taught her, you idiots! I quite hate them. Jack just says that it is “hardly that” and says it is time they get moving again.

Have I mentioned how much I hate these two? I kind of want a freak blizzard to blow up and eat them. Or a Yeti. A Yeti would be fun.

- They go onto a steep path “hemmed in by the tall tree ferns”.

Trees =/= ferns, Douglass. There's a tree with fern-like leaves, but I don't think that's what's being talked about here. Just because it's big doesn't mean it's a tree.

- I further just like that she is not willing to trust the Sentinels on this yet.

Me, too. But then, whenever anyone opposes these assholes, that's a good time in my book, so I might be a little prejudiced.

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 00:32 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
Hello, conflict! Goodbye, conflict! It's not even like it was legitimately resolved, either! Who needs conflict when you have mind control, and can make your characters just forget all about the problem?

I've just thought up a term for characters who conveniently act like this for no logical reason: plot slaves.

STOP THAT. You have no right to read her mind!

EXACTLY.

Yr is a nudist, isn't she? That's the only explanation I can come up with for why she's naked all the time.

There's an awful lot of gratuitous nudity in this trilogy. Frequently involving children.

Congratulations, morons, you just gave him hypoxia. Now he really will be a vegetable.

They could have just put him in an enchanted sleep without all this medical fail nonsense. But nooo, let's overcomplicate things and make ourselves look like an ignorant twit.

...I know what Douglass was getting at here, saying that the ones left behind would be safe, but I don't like that Timozel is lumped together with the animals. It just feels like they're insulting him. I dunno, maybe I'm reading too much into it.

You aren't. They're treating him like an object.

Dramatic, much? Sure, there might not be any big forests, but the land is hardly dead.

It seems they didn't even have to put up with the usual environmental disasters caused by deforestation.

Have I mentioned how much I hate these two? I kind of want a freak blizzard to blow up and eat them. Or a Yeti. A Yeti would be fun.

The only comfort for me is knowing these assholes will indeed eventually get what they deserve.

Me, too. But then, whenever anyone opposes these assholes, that's a good time in my book, so I might be a little prejudiced.

You're really going to enjoy certain scenes in book three. I certainly did.

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 10:27 (UTC)
wolfgoddess77: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] wolfgoddess77
- I've just thought up a term for characters who conveniently act like this for no logical reason: plot slaves.

Seems accurate. Like, I get needing the characters to cooperate for the story to go in a certain direction, but surely there's a more organic way to do that than constant mind-control. Not only is it hella creepy, it's also a cop-out.

- There's an awful lot of gratuitous nudity in this trilogy. Frequently involving children.

...I wish I hadn't heard that. Good lord, Douglass, what is your deal?!

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 September 2024 10:34 (UTC)
epistler: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] epistler
I get needing the characters to cooperate for the story to go in a certain direction, but surely there's a more organic way to do that than constant mind-control.

There absolutely is, and it's 100% just lazy writing.

...I wish I hadn't heard that. Good lord, Douglass, what is your deal?!

Too late to ask her now.

I swear to god these multiple scenes of naked kids in every book, and even two instances of a child or infant being made to strip for no reason that is ever given just get more and more bizarre and uncomfortable. Between that and all the incest and the many, MANY really creepy moments where someone is hit on (including mouth to mouth kissing) by their own grandparent (and there's even a love triangle in the sequel trilogy involving a young woman and BOTH of her grandfathers) I'm absolutely certain there was something really fucked up in her past. She even thought Grandpa incest was a perfectly normal sexual fantasy to have and laughed about it like she had no idea what a disgusting thing to say that was.
Edited Tuesday, 3 September 2024 10:35 (UTC)