BattleAxe First Read: Chapter Thirty-One: Smyrton

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Chapter Thirty (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter Thirty-Two

SCSF: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, Faraday went to the Sacred Grove and received a bowl to keep contact with the Mother, while Timozel (quite dubiously) pledged allegiance to Gorgrael.

For the reader post:

(Oops, I nearly forgot this! Note to everyone: only do one bit at a time if there is reader post.)

On part I of the previous chapter, Chessy shows Faraday refusing to be forced into the ritual.

Also, given how Shra absolutely does not behave like an actual child her age would, with no good explanation given…

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 33

I also realised that Faraday should not be seeing “countless thousands” of stars. If Stellaris lies in an environment like Earth, there should be some six thousand visible stars in the sky, and since she is in a valley, I think there would be two thousand at most.

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 34

As for Faraday feeling ashamed about what Merlion would think about her, she suggests that she would have shamed Faraday for being naked around other men than her husband. That fits quite well with the prudish type Douglass wanted her to be, and I just do not like that we only get these types of memories from Faraday. Does she have nothing positive to remember her mother by?

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 44

As she and Epistler note, Raum notably throws away the corpse of “friend hare” after the ritual is done, which rather makes it look like shock value.

Edgy Equals Mature, Right?: 18

Wolfgoddess further points out that, if Gorgrael truly has “five times Timozel’s weight in muscle”, he would probably be very thick. Given that that does not seem to be the case, and that Gorgrael does not seem very heavy either, I think it was meant to be figurative… but we still need to be told, since he clearly does not follow any rules of normal biology already!

PPP: 242

Finally, she notes that Faraday should have some kind of reaction to going underwater. I would expect her to hold her breath, at the least.

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 35

On part II, Epistler points out that Gorgrael is obviously a “gay stereotype”, what with him calling Timozel a “pretty boy” (which is supposed to be creepy), and him lisping. Well done, Douglass!

All the Isms: 22 (+10)

For that matter, I also do not like the emphasis we get on how weird he looks (to the point that Timozel faints at the sight of him) nor the emphasis on how he has difficulty talking, as both are used as villainous traits.

All the Isms: 27 (+5)

If you want to make us hate Gorgrael, Douglass, it would fit you do so based on what he does, not who he is.

Wolfgoddess notes that Faraday’s “permitted to go through” remark probably means that she was not allowed to go through the Star Gate, but she was allowed to at the Mother. Thank you for that!

PPP: 241 (-1)

She also notes that “Dark Man” is a very bad name, so…

A Better Commando Name: 37

Chessy first notes that referring to Timozel’s promise as a “vow” is incorrect.

PPP: 242

She further notes that Timozel’s “oath” would naturally not be binding, since he did not consent to it (and that he does not swear by anyone).

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 36

I can see him not grasping this at the moment, given how scared he is, but, if the “Dark Man” wants this to hold, he should keep Timozel from having the time to actually think this through. So, naturally, he will give Timozel all the opportunity in the world to realise that this was all bluster.

Papier-Mâché Villains: 23

Finally, she leaves another fic with Ceolmund.

Well, let me go on with the next chapter, then!

Chapter Thirty-One: Smyrton

My, we have finally reached Smyrton, and we are ready to resume Axis’s plotline! Let me see what it will bring:

“On the first day of Frost-month, almost three weeks after traversing the passes in the Bracken Ranges, the BattleAxe rode at the head of his column into the large Skarabost village of Smyrton.”

Let me check… Gorgrael’s second attack took place on the 11^th of October, and three weeks after that is the 1^st of November, so this fits very well! And this is further evidence that Douglass did mess up her timeline earlier, since this time indication only makes sense with the timeline we made for ourselves.

Further… I see I must issue a minor correction: they have travelled from their encampment to Smyrton in 20 days, for an average speed of 10,5 miles a day, which is still very reasonable. So, congratulations to Douglass for that.

We are told he is still “on schedule” to reach Gorkenfort at the beginning of December, but “only just”. Let me see… I see that the straight-line distance from Smyrton to Gorkenfort is about 360 miles. Subtracting the present day leaves them with 30 days to the beginning of December, so they could go at 12 miles a day. Their route will have to bend a bit to the east to avoid the Urqhart Hills, but they can also arrive some days later than the 1^st of December, so they could conceivably reach Gorkenfort at a rate of 12 miles a day, which the army also could sustain! Well done, Douglass!

Further, he was forced to slow the advance of the army through Skarabost, as the horses sometimes “foundered in the deepening snowdrifts”. I do like that we see the impact of Gorgrael here. There were also “other frustrations and delays”, though.

The direct route from the Bracken Ranges to Smyrton would have led them “uncomfortably close” to Isend’s estates in the “southern part of [Skarabost]”. He knew Isend was still in Carlon, but he still took the Axe-Wielders “almost a day out of their way” to avoid the estates. Though his grief over Faraday’s death has been dulled, his guilt has not, and he could not bring himself to explain to Faraday’s “two elder sisters” how he managed to lose Merlion and Faraday. So he led the Axe-Wielders “a day to the east”.

So… I understand that Axis would not want to tell Faraday’s sisters about this. In fact, would he even need to tell them in person? Yes, he did so in Arcen, but the army reprovisioned there, too. Now, they are quickly going to Smyrton, and I cannot see why he should leave his army to convey this message (or worse, draw it after him), when he could easily send a messenger.

Ill Logic: 162

He notably does not send a messenger, though. He certainly could spare someone to bring this message to the estate, and given how close it is, they would be back soon. But no, apparently even that would just be too much for him, so Faraday’s sisters can just keep waiting on an escort that will not come. To be fair, Burdel will probably send a messenger, so they will come to know it, but what is the problem with having someone else tell it, Axis??

Ill Logic: 163

Then, he also has the entire army go around it, which costs him a day! True, he is still on schedule, but the sooner he gets to Smyrton and then Gorkenfort, the better. I also find it quite selfish of him to make the entire army detour (and did he even say why?) just because of his guilt.

Morals for Thee But Not for Me: 94

I also see that Belial, supposedly Axis’s best friend, made no use of his position to talk Axis away from this. He truly does seem like an enabler…

Well, in itself, that detour should not have caused problems (though it was still quite selfish), but they reached a village that, during the past months, had been “terrorised by a vicious gang of bandits some sixty strong”. It then took the Axe-Wielders “two days to deal with the bandits”.

I guess it took them two days because the bandits were spread out so much? And how did they “deal” with these bandits? Did they kill them all, or not? We need some details, Douglass, especially if you want to show how awesome the Axe-Wielders were for this.

When added to the weather-related delays, this means that Axis reaches Smyrton nearly “six days later” than he wanted to. (So he wanted to arrive on the 26^th of November.) So… all the Axe-Wielders participated in hunting down the bandits? Never mind that that is complete overkill and that they are under time pressure, apparently. What would have been the bother to give Belial a force to command to resolve the problem, and then have him join up with Axis farther to Gorkenfort? This is very bad leadership and quite irresponsible!

Morals for Thee But Not for Me: 95

At least Gorgrael has attacked no more after the “cloud of fear” (I presume he is marshalling his forces in the north, then). The weather in Skarabost is declining to an “unnaturally early winter”, but it does not have “the feel of evil enchantment” that the storm at the Barrows or the cloud of fear did. Axis is also reassured by his reaction to the cloud, as he dealt without it without using “the strange music or songs that still haunt[] him from time to time”. Well, that is good for Axis, then. I might just wish we got some more focus.

Back with the present, “music and song” are the last things on his mind as he enters Smyrton. It is a village like any other in the Seagrass Plains, except that it is maybe larger than the others. (According to the glossary, it is definitely larger.) Many settlers come to this village because the taxes are lower in “the outpost regions”, despite how close it is to the Forbidden Valley. This makes it sound like the region is actively being colonised, not like it has been for a thousand years.

PPP: 243

Even here, the fields around the village are “well-tended” and the road is “well-repaired and cleared of snow”. The few villagers who are out in the “snow-covered fields” by late afternoon wave “excitedly” as the army goes past. Then we get a description of the village, and… well, let me show it.

There were sixty or seventy houses in the village; each with an ample garden containing vegetables and fruit trees as well as chickens and the occasional pig.

I think that should be “sixty to seventy”; if Axis knows there are either sixty or seventy, I think he can guess which of them it is. Further, the semi-colon should be a comma.

PPP: 244

That aside, this is just so corny. It feels like some kind of idealised version of life in such a village, which just does not fit with what Douglass is trying to do, and it would also have to be planned for everything to look the same, which does not make much sense.

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 62

White-washed picket fences kept stray children from straying onto the roadway.

Change “straying” into another verb, as this is distracting.

PPP: 245

Yes, they have “white-washed picket fences” now! Never mind that that is typically associated with the U.S., this fantasy village has them too!

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 63 (you cannot just copy-paste without regard, Douglass!)

Most of the village homes lay clustered about the well-built Worship Hall where the good people of Smyrton met every Seventh Day for the Service of the Plough.

Yes, naturally. The glossary further says, with the entry for “Worship Hall”, that it is built in every village, and that it is also “used for weddings, funerals and the consecration of newborn infants to the Way of the Plough”. You truly did not care to change anything, now did you, Douglass?

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 68 (+5)

And that gives us people meeting on “the Seventh Day” for no stated reason. …Also, does that day not have a name?

Cardboard Worldbuilding: 69

As the largest and most solidly built building in the village, the Worship Hall also served as courthouse, village hall and place of refuge should Smyrton come under attack. Close behind it stood the home of the local Plough-Keeper, and to one side a well-tended graveyard.

Well, this is decent enough, I think. I do mind the term “Worship Hall”, though. Has seriously no one come up with a better term for these almost-churches than that in a thousand years? Even just “Hall” would be better than this!

A Better Commando Name: 38

Outside of this, the only other “notable feature” is a “large market square”, and as Axis rides into it, he wonders what life is like for the villagers. Then you might ask them, perhaps? In the square, a “small knot of visibly excited people” stands to greet them. The Plough-Keeper is instantly recognisable at the head of it, and we are told he is “clad in a flowing habit”. He also has “fat cheeks” (stop it, Douglass!). Axis pulls Belaguez to a stop before them, but touches his heels to his flanks and “make[s] him slide to a halt in a half-rear” so he can leap off in a “fluid movement”. I guess he just had to show off.

Most people quickly step back, but Axis notes that one woman, “unusually striking for a country wife”, has kept standing and now looks at him with “something approaching disdain”. Ooh, I like that someone does that! It is quite appropriate here, after all. Axis salutes the Plough-Keeper, who he names as “Brother Hagen”. He says that Jayme sends “personal regards and thanks” for the reports he has given the Seneschal, as they have been very valuable.

Hagen is very pleased and “return[s] Axis’ bow”. But Axis did not bow, and why would he bow to the Plough-Keeper??

PPP: 246

He says he is overcome that Jayme sent the BattleAxe and so many Axe-Wielders to investigate. As more and more people arrive, his smiles falters, and he says he is unsure if Smyrton can provide “adequate hospitality” for so many. Axis gives him a reassuring smile, thinking that Hagen undoubtedly thinks the Axe-Wielders will “eat the entire village to the ground” before they leave. Is that so strange to think, then? If you want Hagen not to think that, you should tell him.

He says they will make camp “well away” from Smyrton, and they will only need water from the well, as they have their own provisions. Hagen is relieved, and invites Axis to his house. They cannot provide Axis’ whole command with “comfortable beds”, but at least Axis and his officers will sleep well. Axis says this he and his officers will sleep along with the Axe-Wielders.

Axis then sees “a glimmer of surprise” in the face of the woman he saw earlier. He says he would be glad to share Hagen’s table that evening, as there are “matters [they] should discuss”. He does not want to offend Hagen by “refusing his hospitality” altogether. Hagen finds this excellent and goes to introduce the Goodpeople. Axis agrees, thinking that he might as well “get the introductions over with as soon as possible”. I… do understand him, but it is also a little rude (though I should not complain since he does not say anything).

Hagen brings two “middle-aged men” out. One is “Goodman Hordley”, who is a “sandy-haired stout fellow”, and the other is “Goodman Garland”, who is “a bald-headed man with a pockmarked complexion”. They are apparently the “senior men” of Smyrton. Axis is then introduced to their wives, who are just “plump” and “beaming”. Then come two “tall, thin” people, who are “Miller Powle” and his son, “Wainwald”. Alright, I think I have everyone.

Also… “Wainwald Powle” is the first person with such a given name–last name arrangement we have seen, and I do not remember it being more frequent (not in this trilogy, at least). Combined with the great name “Powle” and the fact that apparently “Wainwald” is a name of Douglass’s own devising (I would have sworn it did exist), I think this is appropriate:

A Better Commando Name: 39

Hagen then pauses and Axis looks to the woman who looked at him “so disdainfully”. She looked at you with “something approaching disdain”, Axis; do not get it twisted.

PPP: 247

Most of the people of Skarabost are “of fair colouring with sandy or light brown hair”, we are told, but this woman has “the exotic features of a Nors woman with thick, raven hair waving back from a pale face, framing smoky blue eyes”.

I see that “smoky eyes” are made by applying make-up to create a smoke-like effect around the eyes. I get the idea that Douglass thinks this is a naturally occurring feature that does not need maintenance.

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 37

Also, I am not too happy with Azhure being called “exotic” here (and does that truly come down to her having black hair?)

FYRP: 111

Finally, I think I can already say she will be a love interest of Axis’s. We are further told that she is wearing the “usual plain woollen dress” that most country women wear, which has the colour of her eyes, and is covered by “a rough black-weave, full-length apron”. Hagen looks embarrassed at the attention and introduces the woman as his daughter, “Azhure”.

Well, there is finally the tie-in from the preview chapter in the beginning! Axis is surprised at this, as the Seneschal discourages their brothers from marrying and having a family, so they can concentrate wholly on “their duties in the Seneschal”. Those who do marry, who are mostly “local Plough-Keepers” such as Hagen, often marry locally. But, from how Azhure looks, it seems that Hagen went out of his way “to find an extraordinarily exotic wife”. We further get this:

“The Nors people were known for their somewhat relaxed attitude to morals and community standards, and few of the conservative northern Acharites would welcome a Nors woman into their homes, despite their considerably beauty. And Nors people rarely came this far north.”

Why are the Nors people being judged by the standards of the other Acharites, and found lacking? Combined with them being called “exotic” and the Acharites apparently being unwilling to marry Nors people because of this, I am sure there is quite some racism here. I also notably do not recall this being addressed, so…

FYRP: 113 (+2)

Also, would they truly only want to marry these women for their beauty?

No-Wave Feminism: 37

Well, Axis realises he is staring at Azhure, and turns back to Hagen and the others. He says he is pleased to meet him, and introduces himself as “Axis Rivkahson” and then Belial. On the ride north, he says, he has decided to accept “the one gift Faraday [has] given him”: the first pride in his birthright. From now on, he will “bear the metronymic of Rivkahson as a badge of honour”. This might also have been nice to see onscreen. This is a big thing for Axis, after all, so it might suit you to show us how he came to that decision and what he felt about it.

Hagen and Azhure are surprised by this, though the others do not blink at this. Being a member of the Seneschal, Hagen would know of the scandal surrounding Axis, he says, and Hagen would probably have told Azhure as well. Axis stares Hagen down until he blushes and comes back to his senses. He then invites Axis and Belial, “obviously discomforted”, to come to his house to drink ale and talk about “recent developments”.

Axis narrows his eyes at Hagen’s nervousness, and wonders if it is because of the Axe-Wielders, or because of something else. I think it might just be because you indicated that you are proud of your mother, who had an affair, and that Hagen’s confidence in you might be shaken because of that. There is no need to be suspicious, Axis.

Axis accepts and tells Arne to take the Axe-Wielders away from the camp, and to set up camp there. He needs to ensure he will not “damage [] fences or outlying buildings”, and Axis will come himself later. He hands Belaguez over to a young Axe-Wielder, and says that he appreciates Hagen’s offer.

So he, Belial and Hagen, along with Hordley and Garland, go to Hagen’s “comfortable home”. Though it has one room (like “most country homes”, we are told), Hagen and his family obviously have a “slightly better standard of living” than most. There is quite some furniture, and it is “[w]ell-made”, too, and the inside walls have even been plastered! And? Is there supposed to be something suspicious about this?

The “curtains and wall hangings” remind him of designs he has seen in “Ysbadd”, and he looks at Azhure again as she pours out ale for the people who are sitting “at the well-crafted table in the centre of the room”. He narrows his eyes again, as she is old enough to be married, “yet she [wears] no ring”. So you could possibly ask to marry her; good for you, Axis.

He asks if her mother is not home presently, and calls her “Azhure”. I would say that is exactly none of your business, Axis. At Axis using her name, her eyes “flash[] a little”. Though she hates the title, using “‘Goodmistress’” would have been polite. (Axis does not do polite, though.) She carefully hides her dislike and smiles at “this arrogant Carlonite”. She says her mother ran off with “a travelling pedlar” when she was five, because she obviously found life in Smyrton “a little slow for her blood”. She then gives Axis his ale.

Hagen looks “both mortified and furious” at this, and Axis bites his cheek to keep from laughing. He thinks, “amused”, that Azhure has to be a handful for Hagen, and one can only hope that “the bed sport with her mother” was worth the daughter. He ought to treat Azhure well regardless. (Also, “bed sport”? You are trying to be “mature”, Douglass, and you come up with such a euphemism?) He notices that Belial almost chokes on his ale while trying not to laugh out loud.

Axis looks back at Hagen and “blandly” gives Hagen his sympathies, saying that the price the pedlars “demand for their tin pots can sometimes be over-high”. He notes that he is “unable to refrain from commenting in the issue”. Well, then try harder. You are the BattleAxe, after all, so I would expect some professionalism from you, as I would from Belial. …Case in point, Belial chuckles into his mug. Hagen gets an even deeper colour and he “angrily” waves Azhure into “a corner by the fireplace”. Axis then has the sense to talk about something else, and asks if any more of the strange creatures coming out of the Forbidden Valley were seen.

The mood “change[s] abruptly”. Azhure’s face “tighten[s] completely” and she grabs a poker and goes to jab angrily at the fire. Um, why does she betray so much of her reactions? Since she is helping with the Avar, she should know by now that she should be careful with what she shows. And given the further context… she should be quite capable of it, too. This is just weird.

Ill Logic: 164

Well, Hordley and Garland lean forward, excited and barely restraining themselves from speaking. Hagen forgets his embarrassment and “smile[s] indulgently” at Axis. He says that they indeed have, and “just four nights ago” (so from 27 to 28 October), they managed to capture two of the creatures as they tried to go into the Forbidden Valley. They now have them “caged and guarded” in the cellar of the Worship Hall. He then remarks on how fortuitous it is that Axis should arrive “in time for their execution tomorrow morning”.

So they have caught Raum and Shra and are about to execute them! …As much as I dislike Raum, I do not wish this on him, so it is a quite effective “oh no” moment. And there the chapter ends.

Well, that was really quite empty. At least we finally get to see more of Azhure? Either way, until next time!