Mister Monday: Chapters Twenty-Six and Twenty-Seven

[teres]

Chapter Twenty-Five | Table of Contents | Chapters Twenty-Eight and Twenty-Nine

Kerlois: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to Mister Monday! Last time, we had the climax, as Arthur fought and defeated Monday and was about to claim the Key. Let us see what happens now.

We open on Arthur shouting the very last bit of the needed spell (‘Against all trouble!’). The Hour Hand slides out of Arthur’s chest and the hands move in his grasp until the Hour Hand lies across the Minute Hand. There is a “bright flash” and the Minute Hand grows longer as the Hour Hand grows shorter. And then… Arthur is holding a sword instead of the clock hands, which still looks a bit like them, “in the shape of its circular pommel, the circles on each end of the hilt, and the gold chasing down the silver blade”.

The wound in Arthur’s chest closes over and the pain fades away. That is good to see! He stands straight and takes a “long, lingering breath”. Suzy stares at him, “her hands and wings shaking”. He raises the sword and says he guesses they have won. Yes, that is about the way this feels to me, after all the pain and trouble that went into achieving this. So Arthur puts the Key in the mass of bibliophages and tells them to return to Nothing. “[D]elicate rivulets of molten gold” spread from the point until the whole ditch is covered. As they spread, the bibliophages fade until they, along with the gold network, disappear. Nice!

Arthur then touches the bottom of the ditch and tells it to rise. The ground rumbles a bit and then does so, “burying the door”, so Arthur quickly has that rise as well. Within a few seconds, the ditch is no more and the door is back where it was. At this point, Suzy says that she “feel[s] a bit off”. She looks “very pale” and is holding her side. Arthur deduces that Pravuil must have wounded her, and dragging Arthur out did not help either. (I am frankly amazed at how well she kept going, then!) She staggers and collapses.

Arthur just manages to keep her head from hitting the grass. Immediately after, he puts the sword on her stomach and tells her to heal and be well. Light spreads from the Key and surrounds Suzy. As it spreads, she stops shivering and then opens her eyes. When the light fades, she slowly gets up and tests herself, which shows she has been healed! …I might like this better if I had a good idea what she has been healed of.

She quietly says that she “thought [they] were done for”. Then she smiles and jumps in the air, shouting that they did it, and Arthur “finished off” Monday! You rather did that, Suzy. Arthur stares at her, thinking that he should be celebrating, but he just feels too tired for it. Then the Will comes hopping in, excited that Arthur has the first of the “Seven Keys to the Kingdom” and he has just done so very well. (And there is no mention of Suzy, naturally.) They declare that where “there’s a Will, there’s a Way”, and ask where the “former Monday” is.

Arthur gestures with the Key at the door. The Will tells Arthur to summon Monday, to let “justice be meted out”. There is “much to do”, after all. Arthur just nearly died, Will. I think you should give him a little while to recover. Also, what justice do you want to see meted out? Monday is powerless now and he is already severely injured; further hurting him will only serve your vengeance. I would also think Arthur and/or Suzy are better equipped to give justice, since they have actually experienced Monday’s actions firsthand, more so than the Will.

Suzy mutters that she would like “a cup of tea and a biscuit” first. She stops jumping and scowls at the Will, who naturally ignores her. Arthur waves the Key and tells Monday to come out. The door opens and a “bedraggled figure” limps out. So did Arthur make Monday come out against his will? We will get no further information on this and I would truly like to know. This figure is “recognisably Monday”, but only just. The spit of the bibliophages has “eaten away part of his face” (eek), and there are holes all over and through his body. His clothes have also been turned to rags. The Will’s reaction is this:

‘Execution,’ said the Will with some satisfaction. ‘A tap on the shoulder will do, Arthur, and just say, “From Nothing, to Nothing.” That will do the trick.’

Just who are you to demand an execution, Will? You should give Monday a fair trial, at the least, and execution should be a last resort. Also, given that Monday is clearly half-dead anyway and not a threat at all, there is no reason for this but revenge, and I would frankly call this murder.

So Monday goes to his knees and bows his head in preparation for his execution. Arthur holds the Key out and touches it to Monday’s shoulder, but he does not say what the Will told him to. He remembers what Dusk told him about Monday as they fell into the Coal Cellar: “Monday was not always as he is now.” …And that is the amount of thought Arthur will put to what the Will said. No one will protest the Will trying to get Arthur to murder Monday or even mention it, even though Suzy, for one, completely should. Yes, it does a good job of getting me to dislike them, but there should be some reaction to this, too. This just feels like the Will is allowed to get away with it, and I do not like that.

(I would also like to see any kind of acknowledgment that maybe getting Monday partly dissolved is quite horrible.)

Arthur quietly tells Monday to be healed, “[i]n body and in mind”. Good on him for healing Monday and giving him the chance to be better!! I really like that he does the right thing, despite how much trouble and suffering Monday gave him. Maybe it is exactly because of that that Arthur does so; after all, killing Monday will fix nothing and deny Monday any chance of a better life. I further like that he recognised what Dusk said and actually bothers to heal Monday’s mind, too. And, as we will see soon, Monday was clearly cursed and progressively less in control of his actions, which makes the Will’s insistence on “execution” all the worse!

Monday looks up “in astonishment” at Arthur’s choice, while the Will “jump[s] up and down angrily, booming out something that Arthur ignored”. So the Will is angry that Arthur did not murder Monday. Yes, Arthur can certainly ignore them now, but what if he is not there and the Will decides to murder Monday anyway? This is not a situation where simply ignoring them and “being the bigger person” helps; the Will should at least get a stern talking-to on why this is not okay, and if they do not stop then, they should be supervised to make sure they will not do anything wrong. But of course Nix did not think of that, apparently.

Back to the present… the parts of Monday that were dissolved all grow back and the holes dwindle away. Good on Arthur for taking his responsibility and healing Monday of the hurts he (indirectly) inflicted. Even his clothing “restitche[s] and re[weaves]” itself. But this clothing is not as fine as what he had before and his face is not so handsome, either. Still, Arthur sees that his eyes are “also kinder” and there are “laughter lines around them”. Monday stares up at Arthur and then bows his head again. So Monday has returned to who he was before he ever became a Trustee! That is really quite nice, even though there was barely an indication this was the case.

Monday calls Arthur “Master” and begs him for forgiveness. He does not know why he did what he has done, but he thanks Arthur for “[his] new life”. Oh, that is nicely touching. It is just a pity that he will barely figure into things after this… The Will complains that charity is “a very labour-intensive virtue” and you “never know where it will end”. They suppose this was “well enough done”, though. Yes, Will, you do not know where charity “will end” and it can certainly be “labour-intensive”, but I would say it is quite worth all of that because of how much it can help people. If only I could introduce the Will to Part Six…

Just then, someone says that they are sure “it will end badly for all concerned”. Everyone turns around just in time to see the door of a small elevator the size of a “phone booth” close. Then the elevator shoots up and “easily pierce[s] the golden net above”. (Then that net is not worth very much, I think.) Suzy (who is apparently back on the scene) shouts that it was Pravuil, who she thought she finished off.

The Will says it seems not to have happened, and Pravuil must be “more than he seems” and a spy for the Morrow Days, “curse their treacherous hearts”. Not that he was an especially good one, mind you. The Will goes on to say that the Morrow Days cannot act here or on any Monday in the Secondary Realms, since they are bound by the “compact” they made, and those times/areas are Arthur’s “preserves”. Given that Pravuil tried to kill Arthur, I highly doubt that. Either way, they say, they will deal with the Morrow Days later. For now, making a “solid beginning here” is more important. Then they says that Dusk comes, and with him Noon and Dawn, “come to beg for their miserable existences”.

So… Dusk won his battle with Noon and managed to defeat Dawn? I do not doubt that he could, given how long he has had to plan, but it would have been nice to have any indication of the battle going on and to hear about how it went! It certainly did not have to be on-screen (and that would frankly have been a quite bad decision), but I would like at least an explanation of how Dawn figures into this and how Dusk exactly won. It is simply a quite big thing to skip over, after all.

And so Monday’s “three principal servants” come around the side of the villa. Dusk comes first, with Noon “hangdog at his heels”. Neither of them shows “physical signs” of their battle. Behind them comes a “gaggle of Inspectors, Commissionaires and other Denizens”, all unarmed. So… Dawn did join the battle and sent the Inspectors in? I am not sure what they would add beyond ordinary Denizens… especially since we barely know anything about their powers, but alright. I also wonder… I guess Dusk extinguished the fire on the Antechamber? Come to think about it, it might make sense if he rallied the people waiting there. What a pity we did not hear about this…

Around all these people march Midnight Visitors, who hold “their whips at the salute”. Dawn comes behind them. When the crowd is some twenty feet away and Arthur can see “fear and apprehension” on their faces, Arthur raises the Key. Everyone stops, and Arthur lowers it and looks over them. The Will breaks in, suggesting that Arthur keep Dusk in his position, while they take on the role of Noon for the time being. Arthur shakes his head and says he will not “stay[] on as the Master of the Lower House”.

Everyone gasps at this (except for Monday, who keeps kneeling and does not look up). The Will protests that Arthur has to stay on, because he cannot just “give it up”. Oh, why not? Arthur asks if he is not allowed to or if it is actually impossible. The Will says it is really impossible. After all, Arthur is the Heir, chosen by them and “proven by challenge”, and there is much to be done. So it is because the Will does not want Arthur to go, then.

Arthur said that he already told the Will that he only wants a cure for the plague and to return to Earth. The Will says he cannot go back to the Secondary Realms or cure the plague. He needs to remember the “Original Law”: no interference, not even interference to correct interference is allowed. That rule only applies to Denizens, though. Arthur is not bound by the Original Law and there is no reason that he cannot be allowed to return, so the Will is outright lying to Arthur now!

Arthur stares down at the Will. “Anger swell[s] up inside him” and he begins to raise the Key. He thinks he will smash it down on them, but then stops himself. He thinks that is “not the way to do anything”. He needs to stay calm. The Will is a “manipulator” and he needs to “work around it”. …Or you could call them out on their manipulations and blatant lies. There is no need to “work around” the Will instead!

Arthur decides to go with “coldly” saying that the Will said he could and they should explain. The Will says they “merely implied” it by saying that many things were possible if Arthur became the Master. You also explicitly said that you expected there to be a cure for the plague in the Atlas, Will, which clearly said that Arthur could cure the plague. As for Arthur returning home, he also clearly can, since he actually did with the Improbable Stair! I am truly amazed at the Will’s gall in trying to lie about these things.

Further, they say, if Arthur goes back to Earth in his own time without the Key, they expect he will die. Is that supposed to be because of his asthma, then? Yes, Arthur did almost die at the beginning of this book, but that was in an extreme situation, and we have seen that he would not die normally. Also, Arthur could easily use the Key to reduce his asthma so far that he would not die from it, so this is nonsense. I also just realised that the Will actually caused Arthur to nearly die. Sure, they had to keep up the ruse, but some kind of apology might fit.

Arthur… unfortunately does not use the points I provided. Instead he says that he could change his own record (sigh), and since no one seems to follow the Original Law, why should he? Because you cannot drop your morals when they become inconvenient? The Will comes back for yet another round of arguing (and it frankly begins to sound like a Gish gallop now). They say that even if Arthur is right about “[his] record and so on”, he still cannot give up the Key and, being the Master, he needs to uphold the Original Law. I do not care if he is the Master; he still is not bound by it! Also, the Architect must have been able to give up her Keys to the Trustees, so why could Arthur not give the Key up to someone else? If nothing else, I would expect that the Architect could give the Keys to others, for example to have people execute tasks elsewhere.

Arthur finally does something besides argue by referring this to Suzy. Suzy says she does not know and refers the question to Dusk. Arthur looks at Dusk, who takes off his top hat and bows. He says that he does have “some small knowledge”, but it is insignificant compared to that of the Will. Monday, as a Trustee, had some right to the Key until a Rightful Heir claimed it, and it is possible that no one else can wield it now. Arthur finally loses his temper at this, shouting that he does not believe he has been through all this for nothing and that he wants to have a cure for the plague right now.

The Will speaks up about the Original Law once again (which truly does not make more sense if it is said more often) but stops talking when Arthur turns on them, “the Key poised to strike”. Honestly, I would not think that a great loss. Dusk asks if the plague has been caused by “contamination from Fetchers”. Arthur confirms that, and Dusk says that it is a “simple matter” in that case. With Arthur’s permission, he will make a “Nightsweeper” from Nothing. Once taken back to “the Realm [Arthur] once inhabited” (he has only been gone for some days House time, though), it will collect all the contamination and go back to Nothing with it. That will remove the effect on “both people and place”. Arthur finds this is a start. Well, that is a quite nice solution for this, and one that makes sense to have!

So Dusk bows again, pulls out a “black-bound book” and quill, dips the quill in a bottle a Midnight Visitor holds and writes something. Then he tears the page off, walks to the place the ditch was (presumably because there is still some Nothing there), rolls the page into a funnel and puts it in the dirt. A few seconds pass and then a “faint whinny” comes from the funnel. Then a tiny black horse comes out, which is “no more than three inches high”. It whinnies again, stamps a foot and then goes still. How very cute! Dusk picks it up and gives it to Arthur, who carefully puts it in his pocket. Dusk says it needs to be put on a “window ledge shortly before midnight, with the window open”. Then it will ride forth and by morning all will be right. Lovely!

Arthur nods and breathes a sigh of relief. He has what he wants, after all. Now he only needs to find out how to get back. He senses that the Will does not tell him the whole truth, and he is sure there has to be a way. I think, based on what we have seen so far, that Seven Dials might be the best option. Arthur is distracted by a noise at the door then. It opens and reveals… Sneezer, who still has some icicles hanging from his nose. I guess he broke out of the ice block, then? He carries his tray, which has a “tall, thin bottle” on it and a piece of paper. Sneezer goes to Arthur and offers the tray. He asks if Arthur wants some orange juice, which he has in the bottle, and says that he has a “document [he] believe[s] [Arthur was] looking for”. And there the chapter ends. See you in the last chapter, then! (flies out)

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Vermaanti: So, we open the next chapter with Arthur staring at Sneezer. He tries to slide the Key through his belt, but then he realises he doesn’t have one and he’s standing before a whole crowd covered in mud and wearing only “a coat and what might be a nightshirt”. He doesn’t care, though, and sticks the Key in the grass instead. He takes over the juice and the paper, and as he touches the latter, his name appears on it in “golden type”.

Arthur realises it’s his record and asks if he can change it so he won’t die and what it says now. Sneezer says he doesn’t know, since he can’t read it now that Arthur’s the Master. Arthur asks if he can read it. Sneezer doesn’t answer, nor does the Will. Arthur looks at Dusk, who just shrugs. He shakes his head and wonders why nothing is simple. I quite feel you, Arthur. This is much too difficult, after all. Arthur drinks his juice, gives the glass back and looks at the paper. Outside of the name on it, it “seem[s] to be blank”, though.

Finally, he decides that he doesn’t care what’s in it or if he can change it. He’ll go back to Earth anyway, because he just has to use the Nightsweeper, even if he’ll die. Well decided, Arthur! Monday then speaks up, still kneeling. He says that Arthur won’t die. No one in the House can read or change their own record, but once you have “survived your own death”, the record will change accordingly. Arthur has also borne the Minute Hand for a while, which has strengthened his body. Consequently, Arthur won’t die if he goes back, at least not from his “lung sickness”. Also good on Monday for actually bothering to explain!

I also see that this is Nix effectively retiring the concept of records as actually affecting things (aside from a bit in Superior Saturday, and then he removes even that relevance in Lord Sunday), and I do quite approve. It would open up quite some plot-holes like “Why did Arthur not change Tuesday’s record to defeat him?” and that would work quite to the detriment of the whole series. I also just find them a bit too vague for my liking, given that we don’t know how they actually work.

Arthur knows now that he can go back and says that he will do so. He looks at the Will, who’s “sulking near his feet”. He asks them to help him and to forget about the Original Law for a moment. How can he get back home? The Will immediately puffs themself up to “twice [their] usual size” to lend their words weight (how impressive). Instead of answering, they say that Arthur must not go back, because he is the Master of the Lower House, and there are still six other sections of the Will to be freed, and six Keys to be claimed. I note that they don’t seem to care about fixing the damage the other Trustees caused…

Arthur, who I imagine is quite done with this circular arguing, says that he’s just a boy and he wants to go home and “grow up normally”, to be a man and not a “Lord of the Universe” or something. He doesn’t want to become an immortal either, like the Old One said he would if he keeps the Key. He asks if he can make someone else look after everything until he’s old enough. The Will mutters something inaudible. Arthur repeats the question.

The Will admits that he’s in his rights to “request a delay in [his] full assumption of power” and they suppose Arthur can get “five or six years in [his] own backwater”. How very generous. After ten millennia, it is a small period of time and there is some “preliminary work” that will not require Arthur to be there. What would that work be, then? I’d think nearly all of the work to be done in the Lower House would be better done by people outside of Arthur. After all, he barely knows anything about it and he’s barely the one to decide for the people of the Lower House.

The Will then points out that no one knows what the Morrow Days may do if he hands over his powers and goes back to Earth, “even temporarily”. They do not know the exact terms of the compact, but they think Arthur might be in danger from Grim Tuesday, as his “powers and authority border [Arthur’s] own”. (And I’d think Sunday would also count as dangerous, then, but we don’t hear about him.) Arthur says he doesn’t care and he needs to risk it. Maybe the Morrow Days will leave him alone if they know he’s passed his powers on (which seems unlikely, since Arthur has not actually passed them on) and the Will can always get “another mortal heir” if they need one. Could they, though? I get the feeling that could only happen if Arthur were to die.

The Will asks who Arthur’s Steward will be and if he realises if that is “how the present trouble arose with the Trustees”. It is quite hard to find “a trustworthy bearer of power”, after all. As we will see later, that isn’t the cause at all. As for who should be Steward… I would go with Dusk, provided that he will have several people keeping him in check. Arthur’s idea… is to declare the Will his Steward, though they’ll have to “choose a more imposing presence than a frog”. I kind of get it, since the Will clearly knows the most and Arthur is quite done with this… but the Will still wanted to murder Monday just now and has generally been quite untrustworthy. This can only go wrong and I’d really expect someone to speak up.

Well, the Will protests that they are a “facilitator, not an executive” and a “mere functionary”. That… is an odd protest, but I suppose that the Will does not want the responsibility that would come with becoming the Steward. Arthur says they were going to be his Noon. The Will hops around, agitated. They admit that and say that it is “not at all as [they] planned”. So they already had a secret plan for Arthur! With that attitude, it’s no wonder that people disagree with you, Will.

Arthur says “tough luck” and asks if they will or won’t be the Steward. The Will doesn’t answer and instead spends a minute hopping back and forth. Finally they give in and “[kneel] near Arthur’s feet”. They say they will be the Steward. (Finally.) Then letters ooze out of the frog’s skin, and soon words and sentences. They join together and move in the air (just like Arthur saw at the beginning of the book) and a harp and trumpets sound. After a bit, they stop in the “shape of a tall manlike figure”. The trumpets blare and there is a flash of white light, which blinds everyone for a second.

Arthur blinks and sees that with the flash of light, the Will has turned into a woman! Well, that is the “more imposing shape” Arthur asked of them, then. We get a description:

A tall winged woman in a plain blue dress that totally paled to insignificance under her arched and shining silver wings. She was not young, nor old, and was imposing rather than beautiful, with serious dark eyebrows and a rather large nose under her tightly pulled-back platinum hair. Her forehead was wrinkled in either exasperation or thought.

Imposing enough, I’d think. She picks up the “jade frog” and puts it in a “small lace-trimmed reticule” that she has in her left hand. She says she’ll make a brooch from the frog, since it served her well. (Not that we ever see it, if she does.) As she says this, her voice begins “clear and musical”, but then changes into the rasp she used as a frog, because using her new voice consistently is just too much of a trouble.

The Will curtsies to Arthur and he bows back, quite a bit more nervous. He thinks that the Will was easier to deal with as a frog. I presume that’s one of the reasons the Will assumed this form, then. The Will repeats that she will be Arthur’s steward… but who will be their Dawn, Noon and Dusk? So Arthur asks Dusk if he wants to keep his position. Dusk doesn’t want to; he’d like to “step out of the shadows and stand in the sun” to become either Dawn or Noon. Many of his Midnight Visitors also want a change of career, if Arthur will allow them, since they are “weary of wearing black”. Though we aren’t given a reason for Dusk, I can easily imagine that he doesn’t want to keep away from his colleagues any more, after the time he’s spent seeing an issue only he could see.

So Arthur confirms him as Noon and asks the Will’s permission to reappoint the original Noon as the new Dusk. The Will does not think very highly of it (and we get a note that her tongue is the same colour as the frog was), and says that he can be it on probation. She will be “keeping a careful eye on everyone”, too. Then she asks what should become of Dawn. Arthur thinks it over and decides to let her keep her position, which seems good enough to me. Dawn gives him a grateful smile and “[sweeps] a very low curtsy” which sends out sunbeams. And that’s about all we’ll see of Dawn. I’m happy she’s happy?

Arthur wants to make another appointment, though. He asks if Noon can have an assistant, which the new Noon confirms. Arthur turns to Suzy. He says “haltingly” that he knows she can’t go back to her home, and he’s very sorry he can’t change that. She doesn’t have to be an Ink-Filler any more, though. He asks he if she would want to be “Noon’s Assistant”. Then she can help the other Piper’s children and keep a “mortal eye” on things for him. Oh, that is very nice of him! I also think it’s a quite good idea; after all, Suzy knows what the current issues with the Lower House are better than Arthur and she won’t hesitate to go against the Will if necessary.

Suzy is a bit embarrassed about this. She thinks it would make her “Monday’s Morning Tea” or something like that, but she supposes she could go with it. The Will says that the post is “Tierce”, which is the hour between Dawn and Noon, which indeed makes her Monday’s Morning Tea. While I see that is indeed such an hour, it’s rather called “Terce”. That could be better, Nix.

Suzy repeats her title (Monday’s Tierce in full) and wipes away some tears before looking at Arthur. She says (with some stammers) that she hopes Arthur’s family is all right, then rushes forward and gives Arthur “an embarrassed hug”. Before he can hug her back, she lets go and goes to stand with Dawn, Noon and Dusk. That was well done, I’d say!

Arthur asks the Will if he needs to do anything else or if he can go back now. The Will says he must “grant [her] use of the Key”. It’s quite simple, as Arthur needs to give it to her “hilt-first” and repeat some words. (That’s actually quite simple, for once.) Arthur pulls the Key out and we get this:

It felt good in his hand. Right. As if it belonged there. He could feel power from it surging into him, lending him strength. It would be so easy to keep it. To be Master in truth and not concern himself with the petty matters of the Secondary Realms…

I do like that we get to see the negative effect the Keys can have on Arthur… but it’s much too obvious that he’ll be able to resist and it also doesn’t have the time to develop. After all, we’re just about to see Arthur go home to deal with the plague, and we need to spend some time on that, too.

And so Arthur just shudders and quickly reverses the Key and holds it toward the Will, who takes it. She gives Arthur the formula to recite, which begins with identifying him as Master of the Lower House and wielder of “the First and Least” of the Keys. (I note that the “Least” part doesn’t recur later…) Arthur repeats the formula “dully”, exhausted as he is by fighting Monday and just by everything. He says that he grants his “faithful servant”, the Will, all his “powers, possessions and appurtenances” to exercise as Steward, until he will need them back once more. We’re told he speaks the words as quickly as he can, “fighting the desire to stop and snatch back the Key”. Good to hear that that’s apparently come back, even though there won’t be follow-up on it!

Then he finally lets go of the Key. He nearly falls, and the Will “[sweeps] him up under one powerful arm”. The chapter ends with Arthur whispering that he wants to go home. Yes, I want to be done with this, too. And so I am, since you’ll see me next time in the final thoughts. Until then!