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teresChapter Twenty-Three (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter Twenty-Four (Part II)
SCSF: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, we saw the Star Gate and Faraday lost her religion a bit further. Let me attend to the reader post, then:
On part I of chapter 14, Maegwin notes that Ogden and Veremund pretending not to know where the food in the larder comes from is implausible. It also makes them look quite untrustworthy.
Ill Logic: 115
On part II of the previous chapter, Chessy gives a good debunking. She points out that seeing the universe would in no way cause Faraday a crisis of faith, since, as the Way of the Axe and the Plough is based on Christianity, she would most probably believe that Artor created the universe, too.
Maria Monk Redux: 48
While talking to her, I realised that we still do not know if Artor is believed to have created the world, which seems to me like a quite big thing to leave out!
Cardboard Worldbuilding: 36
Still, even if the Way of the Axe and the Plough would not teach that Artor did so, why should seeing the universe make him look “insignificant” to Faraday? Why can she not find multiple things significant? It is nonsense, and it looks quite a bit like mind-control.
Wolfgoddess notes that Yr would probably have quite some trouble getting the mud out of Faraday’s hair if she is only doing so with her fingers, in contrast to what we are shown.
It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 19
She also notes that the light from the Star Gate must be much brighter than what we see if it can be seen from around a curve of the stairwell. I somehow get the idea that Douglass thought it looked “cool” and did not bother to think about whether it made any sense.
It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 20
She further points out that Timozel thinking the shadows on the roof look like “demons” is not exactly a natural conclusion. I get the feeling that Douglass only put it in to make Timozel seem “superstitious”.
Maria Monk Redux: 49
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 32
Finally, she notes that Faraday is treated as if she cannot be trusted around the Star Gate, and Jack also takes Yr’s hand. That is certainly not a good look.
No-Wave Feminism: 31
Well, let me begin with the next chapter, then!
Chapter Twenty-Four: Across the Plains of Arcness
Hmm, these are not indicated on the map, but I think those will be between the Ancient Barrows and Arcness, then. At least the story will get somewhere soon, it seems!
The chapter opens like this:
If the climb down to the Star Gate was hard, the ascent was a nightmare.
That does not bode well, then. This is also a quite good opening line!
We get some explanation for this: The stairwell they took was made of “well-crafted stone”, but the corridor they go into now quickly changes from stone into “nothing more than a tunnel carved out of the living earth, only the occasional wooden strut looming out of the dark to relieve the uncertain lines of the earthen walls”.
Um, what? What is going on here?? How has this tunnel decayed so much and how is it still standing? Looking ahead… I see this was “one of the main entrance ways to the Star Gate” once and it was in “much better repair” then. So… what?
1) I presume the tunnel was made entirely of stone back then, so where did the stone go? I could see the local Acharites get stones from the entrance to the tunnel, but to strip the tunnel nearly to the Star Gate? That seems quite far-fetched to me. Maybe the Icarii did so during the Wars of the Axe, or the other people who were supposed to come here? But then they might as well have blocked the entrance.
In any case, why stop just before the Chamber of the Star Gate? I cannot think of a good reason for that. And the stones must have been intentionally removed from the tunnel, or else there would be some bits of them lying around.
2) Who placed these “wooden struts” here? I guess it must be the “others” who have been mentioned, but do they also maintain these struts? I somehow get the feeling that Douglass thought the struts would not decay in any way.
It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 20
3) How has this tunnel kept existing for so long? The end closer to the ground would have been weakened by water seeping in and should have collapsed long ago. “Occasional” struts are also not nearly enough to keep up the tunnel. And I see just ahead that there are apparently “great chunks of earth” falling from the roof near the surface?? Then the tunnel should have filled up long ago, Douglass!
Cardboard Worldbuilding: 37 (for the removal of the stones)
It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 21
Either way, it does succeed in its intended emotion. They are in a tunnel that should rightfully have collapsed quite some time ago, far away from both the Star Gate and the surface, with only some lamps to give them light… I would call that a nightmare.
Well, they gradually near the surface. At least this is not a stairwell; that would be quite more exhausting to go up. Now “deep tree roots” come through the walls and water drips from the roof. They catch this water in their clothing and drink it, but it gives only “bare relief from thirst”. Along with the water, “great chunks of earth” also fall from the roof periodically. They are quite lucky not to get hit, then, and also, why is this tunnel still there?!
To be fair… this tunnel must lead to the north of the Barrows if they are to emerge on the Plains of Arcness, and Gorgrael’s storm also came from that direction. It might just be that the rain and melting ice from the storm soaked into the tunnel and caused it to collapse a bit further.
Of course, I get the idea that the tunnel is “supposed” to have been this way for quite some time, and there should be debris on the ground, which is not mentioned. There should be anyway, if only because the earth from the tree roots has to go somewhere.
It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 22
Still, I think that makes quite some sense for why there is earth falling from the ceiling now. Well, Jack only lets one lamp glow at a time to preserve their light, and Faraday keeps close to Timozel as they “stumble[] over the uneven floor, terrified that the tunnel [will] collapse on her at any moment”.
Ah, so there probably is rubble on the floor. I retract my complaint, then.
It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 21
I also feel for Faraday quite a bit here, as the tunnel can collapse at any moment! Still, I have the nasty feeling that this is a pettiness on Douglass’s part, so…
Faraday Feels Bad: 7
According to Jack, it takes them “the best part of a day and a night” to get out of the tunnel. So then they would surface on… the 5th of October. Neither Timozel or Faraday understand how Jack can know this so accurately. Maybe it is “magic”? Or maybe he is just making something up. He explains that this takes so long because the tunnel leads to a spot far away from the Barrows. He used this tunnel the three previous times he went to the Star Gate, and once it was in “much better repair”. It was even one of the main “entrance ways” to the Star Gate “for the Icarii”, but over the centuries, the tunnel is slowly collapsing.
That still does not explain why there are no stones here. Are we supposed to assume this tunnel always had earthen walls? That seems a little strange to me. Further, I think “entrance way” should be a single word and we do not need to be told that it is an entrance “for the Icarii” when this is one of their sacred sites.
Hand-Holding: 13
PPP: 143
Then we get a bit about Faraday. She thinks about Merlion for “long stretches of time” and she cries silently. She brushes the tears away, “trying to be strong”. And that is it. That is the grief we get from Faraday. She just lost her mother and this is all we are getting on that?? Not even any explanation of what she thinks of Merlion? This is insulting and quite poor form, since Faraday is one of our protagonists. We should know what she feels!
PPP: 148 (+5)
I also dislike the framing here. Douglass says that she “finds herself” thinking about Merlion, and coupled with the “trying to be strong” comment, it feels like Faraday is not supposed to do so, and should not cry about it. I do not know if Douglass meant it like this, but that is certainly how it comes across, and I very much do not like it.
Faraday Feels Bad: 8
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 33
Timozel hardly speaks at all during this time. He stays close to Faraday, lying down next to her to “keep her warm” when Jack calls a rest and supporting her as they go down the tunnel, but he is “unusually reticent” when Faraday tries to talk to him. Hmmm, why might that be?
We then cut to something else, and I note there has been no mention of Yr at all, even though she is coming along with them. I guess Douglass just forgot to write about her?
Well, finally, when it seems they will never come out again, they reach a “solid earth wall” that blocks their path. Ah, that is a difficulty, though I would have expected it. Timozel pushes past Yr (there she is!) so he can stand next to Jack, who is feeling along the wall. Timozel asks if Jack’s magic can get them past it, barely managing to speak because of his “parched throat”. We are told that Timozel’s “dislike and distrust” of Jack has grown continually while they have been in the tunnel.
I am fully with him in that! Jack dragged him into this, after all, and he has not exactly been kind to Timozel so far. In fact, I think I can feel my contempt for Jack growing, too.
Jack gives Timozel a flat stare and says that they will need no magic, but “your back and mine”. He also calls Timozel “boy”. Well, Jack, how should Timozel have known that you cannot use your magic to get out of here? We do not know the limits of what you can do, after all! And if you do not like that Timozel is acting like this, you might do good to treat him with some respect.
Jack then explains that this wall is “perhaps some two paces thick” and it “conceals the entrance”. That seems to imply to me that this tunnel was deliberately blocked, so then who removed the stones and why?? He says they should be able to dig through with just the two of them. Yr and Faraday are to stand back, but should be ready to move on his signal. Hmmm, I can see why he does not want Faraday to dig (she is not in a very good state, after all), but Yr? Why not choose her to help dig? Does he really rather want Timozel, who he thinks is untrustworthy, to dig with him?
Ill Logic: 116
I also wonder if this would be enough for a misogyny point… Let me know about it.
Well, Yr and Faraday pull back as Jack begins “scraping at the wall with his hands”, but Timozel puts a hand on his shoulder and tells him to wait. Um, why is Jack doing this? Does he actually mean to dig with his hands through the wall? I guess he will eventually get through, but this will take very long!
Ill Logic: 117
Timozel then pulls his axe (I guess he got a new one after the Silent Woman Woods?) and begins hewing into the wall, standing far back and throwing “his entire shoulders” into it. Jack jumps back to evade the earth that flies around. This is going to get them somewhere soon, at least!
Jack chokes a bit on the “loose dirt” that drifts in the air, and tells Timozel to be careful or else the tunnel might collapse. And your plan would have been safe, then? What was Jack’s plan, actually? Did he mean to dig a tunnel through the barrier large enough for them to crawl through? I have no idea. Jack then hefts his staff, “as if he [is] debating with himself whether to strike Timozel or the earthen wall”.
I do hope that he does not want to hit Timozel. That would be even worse than I expect from him. Also… why is this “as if”? Whose POV is this from? And if this is the omniscient narrator, why the uncertainty? This is just badly written.
PPP: 144
Timozel completely ignores Jack’s warning, and Faraday “find[s] herself praying, to whom she [does] not know or care”, that he will break through quickly. Good to see that Faraday no longer has her faith! That is just such an improvement.
Maria Monk Redux: 50
She feels as if she will die if she cannot be in the fresh air soon. Finally there comes “a rush of earth” which buries the remaining lamp. Timozel steps back and is nearly covered in the earth. Jack calls out “now!”. “The women” hesitate, terrified by the lack of light and the earthfall, but the men grab their arms and haul them through.
Because of course Yr is just so terrified of this, and Timozel, who the earthfall reached first, is much calmer.
No-Wave Feminism: 32
This story would be quite a bit better if we did not get moments like this. Either way, Timozel has breached the wall and now the tunnel is collapsing! This is basically the way they came into the tomb, only now they have to go out instead of in, and it is just as dangerous. They all go into the mass of earth, battling to the surface, and trying their best to protect their heads and to avoid breathing in too much of the dirt. While this is quite flatly written, it does work for me.
Then they are suddenly free into “cold, grey daylight” (yay!), “stumbling through dry knee-high grass”, coughing and choking to get the dirt out. Faraday collapses into the grass, and “retche[s] and choke[s]” until she thinks she will vomit her stomach out. She can vaguely hear the other three do the same. Eventually the “heaving” stops and she rolls on her back, wiping away her tears. For “long minutes” she just lies there, staring at the clouds in the “late afternoon sky”, breathing in as much of the clean air as she can. At last!
Wait… “late afternoon”? I thought Jack meant that they were to surface in the early morning? Hmmm, they have spent quite some time underground before beginning the ascent, so that might have taken the rest of the 4th of October, and then they spent the night and most of the 5th climbing. Then Jack ought to have said that they spent “a night and most of a day” climbing, since what he actually said implies that they came out just after the night.
PPP: 145
Eventually, Faraday sits up, and she shivers in the cold air. The others also get up, and they all wipe the dirt from their faces then “running, shaking trembling fingers” through their hair to try to get the earth out of it. I think that comma should be one word to the right.
PPP: 146
Faraday looks back at the direction they came. There is a “low hill”, which is mostly covered in “small rosenberry bushes”. A part of the hill seems to have collapsed on itself, and while she looks at it, she thinks she can feel “faint vibrations” in the ground. Jack sees her, and he says that the whole tunnel is collapsing and they got out “just in time”. They were quite lucky, then! Faraday notes this is the first time she has seen him “even slightly rattled by events”.
Why, it is almost as if taking Faraday away from Axis during the storm was very ill-considered, and might have just resulted in the Prophecy being broken! Not that I expect him to ever admit he was wrong.
Timozel gets up and holds out a hand to Faraday. He says… Well, see the dialogue for yourself:
“That we escaped with our lives from such a hole is enough. I care not if the entire Star Gate collapses in on itself. Faraday, are you all right?”
How very natural this dialogue is. I especially like how Timozel abruptly changes register at the last sentence.
Talk Like A Natural: 5
Then… Faraday does not answer him and there is also no mention of her standing up.
PPP: 146
Faraday shakes out her cloak and brushes off as much dirt as she can from her “skirt and blouse”. She notes Timozel is “strangely calm” after what just happened, and that he seems “older, more certain of himself”. She thinks there is “some undefinable quality” about him that she has not seen before. Then she just shrugs and thinks it might be the dirt.
PPP: 147 (comma splice)
She says that they doubtlessly all like quite different from before they went through the storm and several earthfalls. So it is definitely just the dirt. What is the point of having Faraday think this?
Suddenly, Jack calls out that his “treasures” have found him. Faraday looks up, and sees his pigs coming toward them, all of them “wearing a large grin of pleasure” (um) and their eyes “gleaming between rolls of fat”. They “heave[] and grunt[] and roll[] and amble[]” and nearly bowl over Jack in their exuberance when they reach him. This makes them all smile. Good for them, and good that they take the grinning pigs completely in stride.
Yr turns to Faraday and Timozel, saying that she could use “a drink and a wash”. Jack stands up from petting the pigs, “[h]is face [wearing] a huge amiable grin”. He says they can do so at a stream nearby. Timozel asks after food, putting his axe back in his weapon belt after he dropped it earlier. (I am surprised he even managed to hold on to it.)
Jack says that food is a bit further off. He has some friends, who are “good folk”, a bit away, who can give them food and shelter and some clothing for Yr. That sounds very good! I would not mind meeting someone besides this group, after all. These people are “some leagues distant”, though, and they will have to walk through “most of the night and tomorrow morning” to get there. Well, that sucks.
Wait… “most of the night”? It is still afternoon, so does he plan to begin moving during the beginning of the night? Why wait? In fact, looking ahead a bit, he says that he wants to begin moving before nightfall, so what is it?
PPP: 148
Faraday asks if there is nowhere closer. She does not think she can walk through the night after so long in the tunnel. Well, at least you can breathe freely here and the environment is less deadly… Still, I can see why she thinks so. Yr calls her “my Lady Faraday” and says that she will have to get used to walking, unless she wants to ride one of the pigs. Yr, maybe Faraday just does not want to have to walk in the cold for an entire night to find a reasonable safe place. Maybe she is just very tired after going all through the Star Gate complex, and nearly dying twice, and losing her mother, which is something you, Yr, caused in part. So maybe, Yr, you should take you “hur, Faraday is a spoiled noblewoman who is used to riding everywhere” remarks and shove them down your throat until you choke on them!
Seriously, Yr in part caused all of this trouble for Faraday, and she had the gall to make such a remark? How petty can you get, Douglass?
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 34
This is simply not funny in this situation. Faraday lost her mother! Is it so weird that she wants a place to recover?
Either way, there is a section break there. We pick up with Jack leading them to the stream, which is “some hundred paces away”. They all get more dirt off them and then lie on the bank and drink from the stream. Jack allows them “some hours” to recover, but he wants to get moving before the night. (See?) The wind is cold and the sky “overcast”, so if they cannot find “adequate shelter” the best way to stay warm is to keep moving. None of them have warm enough clothing to stay on the ground for a night. Yes, I can certainly see that. Jack’s “friends” will presumably have a warm place, so I would think that going through the cold now is certainly worth it.
Once they are done drinking, Timozel gets a “short knife” from his boot (which he had in there all this time?) and asks Faraday to cut his hair, because it is so long it gets in his eyes. She tries her best at it, hacking away at the hair and “cutting it so that it [lies] flat against his scalp”. Oh, I find this very sweet, and I like the image of Timozel with very short hair. :p
After she is done, Timozel takes the knife back and goes to cut his beard, but without “hot water”, he does not entirely succeed. As he is doing so, Faraday ponders that the Timozel she sees there seems “vastly older and more self-possessed” than the Timozel she spent the ride from Carlon to the Barrows with.
Yr is also pondering Timozel. She thinks that the experiences “below” have changed him in some way, but she wonders if it is more than a simple maturation, because “the Halls of the StarFarers” have done stranger things than that. “Halls of the StarFarers”? Is that meant to be the Star Gate and everything around it? Either way, this is the last time this term is ever used in this series.
And here the section also ends, with no further explanation of what Yr thinks. Since this is about halfway through the chapter, I think I will stop here for the time being. Until next time!
(no subject)
Tuesday, 2 July 2024 19:19 (UTC)