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teresChapter Thirty-Two | Table of Contents | Chapter Thirty-Three (Part II)
SCSF: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, Axis went to see Raum and Shra, inexplicably developed sympathy for them and beat up Hagen.
For the reader post: As I said in the ETA last chapter, I probably fell for Douglass’s nonsense because it was nicer after the violence in the first part. I also think Douglass put this in to make Axis look good, never mind that not making him the BattleAxe would have had considerably more effect.
Chessy notes that, under Catholic theology, Raum and Shra not understanding what is going on would make them less deserving of their treatment, rather than more, as Hagen claims. That does weaken what Douglass is trying to say.
She further notes Raum’s remark that Axis’s anger “would do a Horned One proud”, which is indeed not a great thing to have.
While talking to Wolfgoddess, I also realised that Azhure probably frowns at Axis being angry at Ogden and Veremund because it is the BattleAxe disagreeing with a Brother of the Seneschal.
She further notes that we are absolutely meant to regard the villagers with contempt for being afraid. So…
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 49 (+5)
Epistler rightly notes that the villagers should be checking the rabbit traps in the morning rather than in the evening, as rabbits are nocturnal. Indeed, if they do this, they would either have no rabbits at all, or they could have taken the rabbits they find in the morning. Also, as she notes, Douglass refers to them as if they are “some sort of village fixture”, when they are not.
It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 45 (+2)
She further notes that Axis could have just ordered Hagen to open the cell and care for Raum and Shra better, since he is the BattleAxe. I guess Axis just wanted to hurt Hagen, then.
Then she notes that Hagen’s speech about how Raum and Shra are “filth” has a comma splice in it.
PPP: 284
She finally notes that “Horned Ones” is a quite bad name for them, since they have antlers, which are not the same thing as horns. Well seen!
A Better Commando Name: 40
Let me resume with the next chapter, then.
Chapter Thirty-Three: The Forbidden Valley
I think that Douglass did not want to give away what happened in this chapter, but it is still a rather bland one. Still, I would rather have bland than bad, so I will take it. Now, let me show the first paragraph:
Azhure took the child back to the house she shared with the man she called her father.
So this chapter is where Azhure is added to the “main cast”. From what I have seen, it is reasonably decent for a while, so that is nice.
As for the “man she called her father”… I wonder if that is supposed to be foreshadowing or that she does not actually consider Hagen to be her father. If it is foreshadowing, it is not immediately obvious, at least.
What is obvious to me is how badly Axis thought this through. He has given Shra to Azhure, who should then keep her for the night in the house she shares with the Plough-Keeper, who already nearly killed her. Further, he does not bother with any kind of supervision, which he could easily get from his Axe-Wielders. In fact, he could easily have handed Shra off to any one of his Axe-Wielders or even to Belial, since he would set about cleaning the cell. Yes, some things would have to change for that, but it would make sense.
Ill Logic: 173
I can kind of see why Azhure went along with it, given that the BattleAxe ordered her to, and given his behaviour, she might well be afraid that he will hurt her if she does not follow his orders.
She was still bewildered, though she felt little sympathy for Hagen; the man was a coward and a fool, and cruel besides. She had hated and feared him ever since she could remember.
Then why is him being “cruel” an afterthought here?
PPP: 285
His cruelty had driven her mother away and he had since made her own life unbearable.
So Azhure has an abusive father. Despite my suspicion that Douglass only put this because it would be “dramatic”, it does not have to be badly handled. Unfortunately, she has not done well so far. Looking back at the two chapters we have had with Azhure, she has not bothered to hide her reactions around him, she even provoked him, and she also stayed very calm after Axis knocked Hagen out, even though he might well hurt her in return. That is not how Azhure would react if he has “made her life unbearable” for some twenty years.
It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 46
I think that Douglass wanted to give Azhure problems and a Troubled Past by having Hagen be abusive… and also wanted to have her be Awesome (for lack of a better word), by having her provoke Hagen despite the danger and having her bring food and water to Raum and Shra. Unfortunately, trying to do both simultaneously just gives a mess, which Douglass did nothing to fix.
PPP: 290 (+5)
Come to think of it, it is probably no coincidence that Azhure’s abusive father is the rough equivalent of a priest.
Maria Monk Redux: 69
So, Azhure exposits that the violence Axis dealt to Hagen is “only a fraction of the violence Hagen [has] meted out to her over the past twenty years”. Yes, it obviously is. If she were beaten multiple times per year over twenty years, for example, that could easily outweigh the beating Hagen took. Something like “she had experienced the likes of this more than once” would work better.
PPP: 291
Then she tells us that, until this afternoon, she hated the Axe-Wielders like she does the Seneschal, “a sentiment rivalled only by her hatred for Hagen”. Now, with some discomfort, she has to admit to some respect for Axis and Belial, as they treated Raum and Shra with “both respect and sympathy”. That still makes no sense, but alright. As she cleans and dresses Shra, Azhure keeps thinking and gets “more and more excited”.
She tells us one of her “secret dreams”, that she has held since her mother left, is that she can one day “find the opportunity to escape”, too. She thinks that tonight is the “perfect time”, as Smyrton is distracted by the Axe-Wielders and by Axis beating up Hagen. Not only does she want to escape, she wants to save both Raum and Shra, too. That sounds difficult, but quite worth it. Over the past few years, she has tried to persuade GoldFeather to let her help with the Avar children, as she wants to help however she can. Now she can actually help.
Here I want to talk about this introduction. I think that Douglass noted that she often wrote in omniscient and decided to write this introduction in a close viewpoint. While I like that she wanted to write in a closer viewpoint, the introduction to Azhure’s POV is a quite bad time to do it, as we need some context to understand her thoughts.
Looking back at the introduction, we have not been told why she hates the Seneschal so much or who she wants to run to. We do know what she refers to with the Avar children, given the preview chapter, but it also feels redundant because of that. And yes, we will be getting the proper information after this, but what would have been the bother to have Azhure think about it at the beginning of the chapter? It worked well enough in the prologue, after all.
PPP: 294 (+3)
So we go into a flashback. Azhure found out about GoldFeather “some twelve years before when she was fifteen”. That means that she is now twenty-seven, then. Because she wanted to escape Hagen, she would often leave the house in the middle of the night and “sit watching the Fortress Ranges and the dark shadows of the forest beyond”. One night, she saw the “furtive shadows” of people leaving the Forbidden Valley, and she followed GoldFeather as she and a “young Avar [man]” took two children into the Seagrass Plains. Over the next year she kept tracking the woman, until she finally made too much noise and was heard.
Could we also get a reason for why Azhure did as she did? My best guess is that she had come to hate the Way of the Axe and the Plough by that point, probably in part because Hagen was the Plough-Keeper. Further, given her situation, I could see her be less afraid of the Forbidden, too. After all, they would probably not be worse than what she already endures, and it gives her something to dream about. Then, when she saw GoldFeather, she would have had evidence that it was possible to live with the Forbidden. In addition, I imagine that it gave her something to distract her, and that not telling anyone about them was a way to spite them. If only we could have seen something like this now…
Azhure thinks she was lucky to survive being discovered. The Avar man had become “frighteningly angry” (with some reason this time), but GoldFeather persuaded him “against any action” and then reassured Azhure. Later, they formed an “intense friendship” and in the following years they met maybe three times a year and “talked through the night”. GoldFeather told a bit about her life with the Avar, but, to Azhure’s surprise, she did not want to hear about life in Achar. She would “smile[] sadly” that her old life is “dead and gone” and she has now started a new one. Azhure naturally told no one about GoldFeather, and, if she is feeling very lonely, she sometimes pretends that GoldFeather is her “long lost mother”. This is quite nice.
Back in the present, Azhure smiles at Shra. She is still “bruised and cut in several places”, but looks much better than earlier. Hmm, I get the feeling I should keep this in mind… Azhure gives her something to eat, and Shra “placidly” accepts the food and water she is given. Then say Azhure give her something to eat and drink.
PPP: 295
Also, I still do not think Shra should be acting anything like this.
She cuddles Shra close and thinks that she hopes to have “a child of her own” one day, but absolutely not from one of the “village oafs”! She says she is going to escape Smyrton and then “lead a life of adventure and purpose”, and she will find a “hero” to father her children. She smiles and thinks she does not doubt one will appear “precisely when needed”. If only you knew where that “hero” would lead you…
Now she hears “raised voices”. It is Hagen, who has “recovered” from “the crack across his pate”, and Axis, who she incredulously (I think) notes is the Rivkah’s bastard son. Um, Axis did not hit Hagen on the head; he threw him into a wall, something that Azhure would have seen.
PPP: 296
They are apparently arguing about Raum. After a while, they stop and Axis “stalk[s] off”. Hagen comes in and glares at her, but then just goes to lie down. She thinks his head might pain him. I am quite certain it does, since he just had a concussion! Azhure sighs with relief and relaxes her grip on Shra. She says she was “lucky not to have received a beating” for her earlier remark about her mother. Then why did you make that remark??
Ill Logic: 174
Apparently, she also just recovered from “three broken ribs he [has] given her two months ago”. That should have made her all the more careful, then. Still, why break her ribs, when that impairs her and is quite noticeable? It is probably because Douglass thought that was “dark” and stuff.
Edgy Equals Mature, Right?: 20
Ill Logic: 175
Papier-Mâché Villains: 25
As Hagen begins to snore, Azhure goes to sit by the fire, “rocking [Shra] to sleep” and plans. Go, Azhure!
--
She makes her move in the “dark hours of the night”, in “the hours before dawn”, when “the human body and spirit [are] at their lowest ebb”. I do not know how she would know any of this.
PPP: 297
Either way, it is time for action! Azhure wraps Shra in a “warm blanket”, whispers at her to stay quiet (which is a nice touch) and takes a cloak for herself. She would like to take some food, but she does not dare to, because the weight might slow her. As she goes to lacer her boots, her “nervous excitement grows”, and she tells herself to have courage. Um, the problem is not that she is afraid; it is rather that she is too nervous, so the word Douglass is looking for is “Calm”.
PPP: 298
She then tells us about her escape plan… which we probably also should have heard about earlier.
PPP: 299
She tells herself that, with another hour at the most, she and Raum can “be racing for the Forbidden Valley”, and then she can spend the rest of her life “wandering with GoldFeather”, free from Hagen. Oh, I would love to see that happen! Now, one of the laces refuses to tie. She holds Shra “tucked under one arm”, and that, along with her nervousness, makes her clumsy. So she quickly puts Shra on the floor and goes to relace the boot. And then the expected happens:
“Bitch!” Hagen grunted behind her and grabbed the child.
Jumpscare! It is reasonably effective at conveying what Douglass wanted, thankfully. Still, I do not have such a sense of Hagen’s menace as Douglass wants me to have, simply because we have not seen him be so very evil. Yes, he was probably meant to be in his treatment of Raum and Shra, but since he was not, this loses some of its impact.
PPP: 300
What also does not help is that Hagen is noted to “grunt” here, or that he bothers to make his presence known before grabbing Shra. Combined with him having a concussion, I get the picture of him being barely able to stand, and not being able to think very clearly, either. That is not a bad thing, since Hagen could still hurt Shra or raise a fuss, but it is not what Douglass meant to go for.
(Also, this is what Axis caused by giving Shra to Azhure.)
Papier-Mâché Villains: 26
Azhure cries “no!”, “too frightened to scream”. Yes, her being so afraid that she does not recognise that Hagen cannot think clearly is also a factor. She tries to turn around, but loses her balance and falls. Hagen throws Shra, who is now awake and crying (finally!), on the bed. He steps over to the table and gives Azhure “a vicious kick in the ribs”. She now “wheeze[s]” “no”, and doubles up, trying to breathe. Hagen has kicked her in the same ribs he broke earlier, and now it feels like “fire flicker[s] up and down her ribcage”.
This is quite effective in what it tries to do! I appreciate in particular that Azhure does not immediately stand up to Hagen, as she did earlier. Still, I wonder if her ribs hurting like this is accurate… I see the healing time is plausible, so I think getting hurt like this is plausible, too (especially since she might heal slower, due to her circumstances).
So Azhure tries to see what Hagen does. He stands at the table, “ignoring the wails of the child”, and “riffl[es] through” the “plates and cutlery” Azhure has washed and had yet to put away. So Azhure whimpers “no” again. She thinks she needs to move and do something, but the pain in her ribs “cripple[s] her” and she can barely draw breath, let alone get up.
Hagen now grabs a “bone-handled knife” and says the “Forbidden child dies now”. He inspects the edge of the knife. And he can actually get away with this, too, since Azhure is hardly in a state to act right now. So, well done with that, Douglass. We are then told he spends “hours each week” honing that particular knife, and Azhure knows how sharp it is.
What is this? He truly does not need “hours” to sharpen it after each use, because knives notably do not dull entirely with each use! This would only wear away the knife at a prodigious rate and make it more likely to break when used! I also do not believe that it has endured for years, as Douglass wants us to believe.
It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 48 (+2) (I suppose this is because it is “dramatic”)
At thinking about how sharp the knife is, Azhure begins to experience italicised flashbacks! She sees Hagen lift the knife. In the present, she groans and closes her eyes. In the flashback, “flames crack[] and pop[]”. Azhure now rolls over on her belly and presses her face into the floor, “desperate to escape both the scene before her and the memories threatening to break free”. She then remembers that the “smell was terrible”.
Hagen steps over Azhure and takes another step toward Shra. Azhure remembers this: “The little girl. Frightened. Watching. Unable to escape.” That does seem quite a bit like the current situation. In the present, we learn that Hagen is not worried about Azhure, as he has “beaten her into submission” enough to know she will not act, and he has “trained her well”. Flashback!Azhure asks “Why not kill me?” In the present, Hagen reaches the bed and begins to “pull [Shra’s] outer clothes apart”. I do not think it would make all that much difference if he wants to kill her… so I will assign this to him still being confused by the concussion.
In the flashback, we get this: “Because I like to see you suffer,” he replied. Yes, people, Hagen outright said that he is only abusing Azhure because he wants to make her suffer. This is plainly ridiculous! I would honestly expect this from one of Newcomb’s worse villains, that is how bad this is. It also does not fit with his behaviour at all; if he just wanted her to suffer, Azhure should be in a considerably worse condition now, and the fact that she is not means that he must have held back. That, in turn, implies to me that he does care for her in some way (because I do not see any external factors) and that he is not completely evil, no matter what Douglass says.
Papier-Mâché Villains: 28 (+2)
In the present, Azhure manages to get to her knees, though she is still “bent double with pain and fear”. She thinks “Not now. Not again!” In the flashback, Hagen threatens to “check the bandages” in the morning to see what is there. Then, in the present and the flashback, Hagen raises the knife… Azhure raises her hand, rocks back and forth, and “keen[s] under her breath”, thinking “not again!”. Then she thinks that she can stop it this time. This time she can save Shra, “and in doing so, save herself”. (I think that is a little too obvious, Douglass.) In the flashback, Hagen digs with the knife.
So, at that, Azhure jumps forward, grabbing for the “hem of Hagen’s robe”. He hears her and turns, the knife still in his hand, “his face masked in rage”. Azhure catches the hem, but it slips through her fingers. Hagen, who is now howling in anger, goes to stomp on her hand, the knife still in his hand. Then, “[w]ith the last of her strength”, Azhure grabs his foot and pulls on it twice. Hagen “teeter[s] backwards and forwards”, looking surprised rather than angry. (I think his concussion would make balancing quite a bit harder, too.)
Then, “with a small “Oh!” of utter astonishment that Azhure would actually do this to him”, he falls to the floor. Azhure rolls out of the way and gets up, with one hand still pressed to her ribs. Still, she can breather easier now, and she readies herself for the moment Hagen will jump up “with a savage roar, intent on her final murder”. But Hagen keeps lying still, “his right arm twisted under his body”. Shra begins to calm and Azhure quickly checks her. She is unharmed, “but Hagen [has] come so close… so close…”
I want to pause here for some reflection. I have to say that I do like this sequence. The flashbacks are a bit too unsubtle, but we still have Douglass actually giving us a mystery (what happened to Azhure?) without making it entirely obvious. I further like that Azhure does not just decide to stand up to Hagen, but that she is clearly still afraid and only goes through with it because of a traumatic memory. Then we have Hagen actually being affected by having had a concussion, which is nice. Finally, I just like how relatively tense this scene is! (Yes, it certainly needed some further brushing-up, but it at least does what it is supposed to, so…)
Azhure takes a deep breath and fights to forget the flashbacks, telling herself that it never happened. We are told her mind “slip[s] dangerously close to the edge of madness” (which is not how any of this works), and she tells herself to forget it, and that it was just her imagination. While she tries to “disremember” this, she murmurs that she is a “[w]icked child”, which Douglass tells is are “the words that [have] been shouted at her for so many years”. Yes, thank you for that.
She finally manages to shut the memories away, “composing herself with great effort”, and looks at Hagen. She wonders if he has “knocked himself unconscious” when he fell. She hopes he is, because then she and Shra might still flee. So Azhure checks on Hagen by bending down and quickly touching him on the shoulder. He does not react. She then shoves him and jumps back. Hagen still does not move.
As Azhure watches his “still body”, she feels her “stomach start[] to churn” and she whispers “Oh no”. Just then, Shra sits up, “her tear-streaked face curious”. Good to see that she still barely reacts… Azhure bites her tongue “to stop herself from gagging”, and grabs Hagen by the shoulder and rolls him over, grunting at the pain in her ribs. It turns out that… Hagen is dead! And nothing of value was lost.
So we get a description of him now that he is dead. There is a “spreading pool of blood” below him, his eyes are staring and “comically surprised”, and he still grasps the knife, whose “entire length” has been stuck in his “lower abdomen”. While she watches, his hand loosens and drops to the floor with a “sickening thud”. Yuck.
I do wonder how Douglass thinks he has died. He did fall on his knife and he has bled quite heavily… Given that the knife has been stuck in “its entire length”, I think that it hit his aorta and that he has bled to death just now. As for why he did not try to do anything in the meantime, I would point to his concussion, though that does seem quite flimsy to me. I do know that the knife should have broken, though.
It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 49
Overall, this whole sequence just feels very contrived: Hagen just happened to fall on his knife, which just happened to hit something vital and made him bleed to death. It is possible, but it could have been done considerably smoother.
Azhure “turn[s] away and retche[s]”. Shra, though, gets off the bed and walks over to Hagen. Nearly losing her balance on her “plump legs”, she squats and puts her hands in the pool of blood. She then calls Azhure’s name, and Azhure looks back, stunned to see Shra with both her hands bloodied. She immediately snatches Shra away, wondering what Shra thinks she is doing.
Then, Shra puts one hand to Azhure’s forehead and runs her “fat little fingers” across her face, leaving “three trails of blood”. And she says “Accepted”.
I see what Douglass meant to do, but I am quite certain Shra would not grasp the full significance of the ritual Raum executed, and that she would not know that it is a thing to do now with Azhure. Even if she knew that, she should know that, though she has been bonded to the Mother, she has had no training at all and that she presumably cannot bond people with the Mother yet. (I also wonder if Hagen’s blood would be enough.)
Sure, it might just be that Shra copies what she has seen, but why would Shra be alright with walking up to a corpse and putting her hands in the blood, then? Only crying while nearly being killed and calming soon after is one thing, but doing this is something quite else. Also, if I remember correctly, other Avar will assume that this is something Shra did deliberately, so I guess that is what we are supposed to think. I still say that she should rightly be much too distraught to even think of such a thing, and that she should not be making that connection.
It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 50
I suppose Douglass just wants to have her be “adult”, no matter how little sense it makes. And here I would like to cut. Until next time!
(no subject)
Wednesday, 6 November 2024 10:06 (UTC)This wording is so clunky.
Yeah, Azhure doesn't act remotely like an actual abuse victim. Hell, I've dealt with actual abuse victims and have experienced abuse myself, so I would know.
Exactly, and the abusive childhood is clearly just a ham-handed shortcut to try and make her sympathetic. One which does not work because Azhure's only reaction to it is self-pitying whining.
Oh, and in world the abuse was supposed to make her grow up to be "compassionate", which was a horrible idea and didn't work anyway.
Definitely not. "Abusive religious parent" is one of the oldest tropes in the book. It dates back at least as far as Flowers In The Attic, and probably even further than that.
Um, where did she get the clothes?
And we never will be. It's just here to make her seem smart and morally superior.
Ultimately, into the arms of another abuser who also makes her life hell and is in fact WORSE than Hagen. Not that anyone ever makes this connection. Nor does Azhure have any sort of trauma reaction when Axis becomes the one doling out the physical assaults and screaming in her face, and also repeatedly raping her on top of all that.
Said action is implied to be violent, and if the Avar are nonviolent why was he acting like this?
Shown rather than told, naturally, and given that Azhure will later treat "GoldFeather" like complete shit I don't believe it anyway.
Gosh, I wonder who GoldFeather could possibly be?! The author drags this big revelation out for waaaaay too long and apparently thinks we're idiots because the answer is stupidly obvious.
Because she's a dumbass?
Arrogant little ass.
As I noted in my own spork, how the fuck does she know it was exactly three broken ribs?! She's not a doctor! I also noted that if he beats her THIS severely she should have become permanently affected years ago, if not dead. (When you find out the full details, the answer is absolutely the latter. Azhure shouldn't even have made it into her teens).
Yeah, that makes no sense at all. And if she's as hyper-vigilant as she should be how the fuck did he manage to sneak up on her?
And then allowing Hagen to re-enter the house with Shra in there
Just how much of this stuff do they even have if it's just the two of them?
And that's just terrible. I hate how emotionless Douglass' "dramatic" descriptions are.
Yeah, no, that's not how abusers operate. An actual abuser would say something like "because you keep making me angry" or "I was just drunk" ( https://www.mcedv.org/learn-about-abuse/common-justifications-for-abusive-behavior ). And this is NOT hard information to find. It wasn't even before the internet. Just go to your local community centre and pick up a few brochures.
Hagen is a poor and extremely dishonest portrayal of a domestic abuser because he doesn't make any excuses or exert control over Azhure by making her feel like it's her fault and that she can change him, or avoid being hit by keeping him happy. He's just a cartoonish cardboard cutout who doesn't act remotely like an actual human being.
Come to that, Axis is probably a more accurate portrayal of an abuser because he always excuses himself with bullshit like "well Azhure made me angry so of course I violently grabbed her and screamed in her face" and "I just made a mistake!" All of which Azhure placidly accepts because she just loves him so much and somehow knows he's a Good Man.
(Oh, and Axis baby-traps her as well - another tactic of an abuser).
Yeah, this is incredibly clunky and on the nose.
While she was six years old, no less. Case in point as to why Azhure should have just straight-up died. Because guess what, those wounds he's digging around in ARE LATER SHOWN TO HAVE BEEN FULL OF PUS. She should have died of blood loss or septicaemia or failing that just the shock all by itself. This is Paolini levels of not knowing how injuries work, and not for the last time either.
And now we have Paolini levels of not understanding how "madness" works.
The text says the knife is in his "lower abdomen". That means it's in the lower part of his belly. Now while there is an abdominal aorta, if the knife is still stuck in him it would have plugged the hole, thus preventing him from bleeding out. There's a reason why if you have anything major embedded in you, you should NOT just immediately remove it.
And there's one other problem here which I only just spotted.
Hagen is fat. He has a big bulging belly. So how the fuck did this knife get through the layers of fat to strike anything vital anyway? Just how long is this blade? Never mind dying in two seconds flat; unless I'm missing something important he probably could have survived this just fine.
Yeah, like how about this: Azhure assumes he's dead and grabs the kid, only to see him suddenly get up. He pulls the knife free and drops it, and in a panic she snatches it up and finishes him off. As she's never fought or killed before she has no fucking idea what she's doing and doesn't realise that it's a lot harder to stab someone to death than she thinks, so Hagen's death is a horrible drawn-out affair which seems to last forever before at last he gives up the ghost. And now here she is, splattered with blood and still gripping the knife so hard her knuckles have turned white.
A murderer.
Not only would it have been ten times more dramatic and exciting but now the later "you're a violent person who murdered someone" accusations would actually make sense. Because as it is, Azhure did not do violence and did not murder him. It was an accident. No court would ever have found her guilty of anything other than maybe manslaughter, and even that would be unlikely. She was trying to defend herself and a child.
Yeah, Shra isn't an actual child. She's a doll.
What, did Axis fix the fatal malnutrition as well? And even if he did, Shra was raised in a tribal subsistence society. I find it highly unlikely that she'd be a chubby kid.
She treats all her child characters, babies included, like they're just tiny adults. So yeah.
(no subject)
Wednesday, 6 November 2024 16:33 (UTC)This wording is so clunky.
SCSF: Something like "She had always hated him" would convey the same considerably shorter.
Oh, and in world the abuse was supposed to make her grow up to be "compassionate", which was a horrible idea and didn't work anyway.
I presume that was WolfStar? I will never understand why he does not end up the Big Bad at some point; he is so much worse than Gorgrael!
Um, where did she get the clothes?
From... no idea where. (And this scene certainly did not invite me to think everything through very well, rather than skip through it.)
And we never will be. It's just here to make her seem smart and morally superior.
Hmm, I think it is because GoldFeather told her about the oppression the Seneschal face. I would still wish that Douglass told us things like this, because there is no reason to have us figure it out by ourselves.
Ultimately, into the arms of another abuser who also makes her life hell and is in fact WORSE than Hagen. Not that anyone ever makes this connection. Nor does Azhure have any sort of trauma reaction when Axis becomes the one doling out the physical assaults and screaming in her face, and also repeatedly raping her on top of all that.
And someone who will even have her relive Hagen's abuse, because that was just so necessary. In fact, this almost feels spiteful to me. After all, what is the problem with letting Azhure not be abused?
Gosh, I wonder who GoldFeather could possibly be?! The author drags this big revelation out for waaaaay too long and apparently thinks we're idiots because the answer is stupidly obvious.
Yes, no kidding. I think I will still be using "GoldFeather" for her until she takes on "Rivkah" again, though.
As I noted in my own spork, how the fuck does she know it was exactly three broken ribs?! She's not a doctor! I also noted that if he beats her THIS severely she should have become permanently affected years ago, if not dead. (When you find out the full details, the answer is absolutely the latter. Azhure shouldn't even have made it into her teens).
I could see Azhure finding out that three ribs are affected, but knowing they are broken (which naturally does not have to be all the way through)... unless she can somehow generate X-rays, good luck with that.
Yeah, that makes no sense at all. And if she's as hyper-vigilant as she should be how the fuck did he manage to sneak up on her?
"Drama", presumably. And thanks for the catch!
And then allowing Hagen to re-enter the house with Shra in there
Indeed!
Just how much of this stuff do they even have if it's just the two of them?
Not as much as we see here, I think.
abuse talk
Yes, exactly! I am quite sure Douglass just wanted Hagen to be an "Abusebot" devoid of any redeeming characteristics whatsoever. At least he was being honest about why he did this? And, naturally, Axis is written like an actual person, so he would actually feel the need to excuse himself.
While she was six years old, no less. Case in point as to why Azhure should have just straight-up died. Because guess what, those wounds he's digging around in ARE LATER SHOWN TO HAVE BEEN FULL OF PUS. She should have died of blood loss or septicaemia or failing that just the shock all by itself. This is Paolini levels of not knowing how injuries work, and not for the last time either.
Yes, she ought to have been dead several times over by now. The only reasons I can think of that she did not is that either the GateKeeper did not let her die (as she will with Axis later), or something to do with the Prophecy itself. (And it is all WolfStar's fault either way.)
Hagen's death
Yes, that is all quite fair! I only note that he presumably did take a bit longer to die. Come to think of it, he did have the knife "raised high" before he fell, did he not? How did he fall on it, then? Unless he deliberately put it there, I do not think that would have happened. (Not to mention that the knife should just have snapped the moment he fell on it.)
Just let him hit his head again on a table or something... that would be a bit better.
Yes, your idea would fit quite a bit better!
Yeah, Shra isn't an actual child. She's a doll.
I also note just how conveniently she sleeps.
_What, did Axis fix the fatal malnutrition as well? And even if he did, Shra was raised in a tribal subsistence society. I find it highly unlikely that she'd be a chubby kid. _
I think he was meant to do that, but she should indeed not be this chubby.
Well, thank you for bearing with me again!
(no subject)
Wednesday, 6 November 2024 23:48 (UTC)Yeah. Wolfy deliberately abandoned her and her mother, the former to twenty years of over-the-top abuse and the latter to a horrible death. All because Azhure "needed to learn compassion". It's such abuse apologia bullshit. The level of violence and emotional cruelty Azhure went through should have produced a completely dysfunctional adult, not a "compassionate" one. Though considering that she will later turn into a murderous sociopath who also abuses her kids, maybe it did.
WolfStar is indeed ten times worse than Gorgrael, and yet the idiots who pass for the heroes in this thing never figure out that maybe they should, I don't know, do something about that guy. Instead they just let him go around doing whatever the fuck he likes.
Shades of Morontagh being re-traumatised with even more goddamn torture and slavery, really. And what makes it even worse is that after Axis does this, Azhure just gets over it like it was no big deal and it doesn't even damage the relationship, let alone end it! It's so incredibly offensive.
Yeah, she did not need to be so exacting. It's unrealistic and ruins the drama and emotion she was trying to evoke. Focus on the pain, not the medical details!
He even saw the guy go in and did nothing! This entire situation is Axis' fault.
Albeit an incredibly horrible one whose evilness is blithely ignored.
Extra laughable to me because while I don't have any children I know plenty of people who do, and getting your toddler to just go the F to sleep already is a very well known frustration. That doesn't happen with Shra, or baby Caelum either. Much like Bella's demon spawn they just go to sleep whenever it suits the author.
My pleasure!
(no subject)
Wednesday, 6 November 2024 17:04 (UTC)That's an exercise in futility. I don't think anything could make Axis look good to me, and he hasn't even done all that much yet. I hate him. He sucks.
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Yep, that tracks. Coming up with random and nonsensical reasons to commit acts of violence seems to fit right in with his personality.
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Not just that, but she would have even more reason to fear her father. He's already proven that he's not afraid to hurt her, so even if she tries to protect Shra from him, he would have no issues with going right through her and potentially killing them both. He's putting both of them in danger.
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Oh, look, another massive life change that's enacted with absolutely no inner conflict whatsoever. What is Douglass's problem with bringing up plot points that have a lot of potential to be interesting, and then just throwing them aside with "and then they changed their mind about this thing that formed a pillar of their life with no problems whatsoever"?
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Two things. One, can you have an 'intense friendship' with someone you only spend about thirty-six hours with per year? Two, just say they were lovers. Just do it, Douglass. Everybody can sense the 'I like girls' vibes from GoldFeather; the only one who seems to be in denial about that is you.
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What is it with bad authors not knowing just how serious concussions are? They can kill you; you shouldn't be treating them like you stubbed your toe. And the worst thing is, it's not like this is some obscure piece of medical information that only a handful of doctors have ever even heard of it. Concussions are frighteningly common, and the damage they can do should be just as well-known.
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Oh, no, whoever could have anticipated something like this happening? Oh, right. All of us.
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...Douglass. Stop trying to undress young children. Your fixation on nudity is disturbing.
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What would be interesting was if the Mother was speaking through Shra, temporarily possessing her to do an impromptu ritual for Azhure. ...even if the ritual itself makes no sense, and is nothing like Faraday's ritual... Eh, whatever.
(no subject)
Wednesday, 6 November 2024 17:34 (UTC)That's an exercise in futility. I don't think anything could make Axis look good to me, and he hasn't even done all that much yet. I hate him. He sucks.
SCSF: Oh, I think you will hate him quite a bit more in the next books...
Oh, look, another massive life change that's enacted with absolutely no inner conflict whatsoever. What is Douglass's problem with bringing up plot points that have a lot of potential to be interesting, and then just throwing them aside with "and then they changed their mind about this thing that formed a pillar of their life with no problems whatsoever"?
To be fair, it might have taken place in this case, but Douglass completely skipped over it.
One, can you have an 'intense friendship' with someone you only spend about thirty-six hours with per year?
Yes, that was about what I wondered myself.
What is it with bad authors not knowing just how serious concussions are? They can kill you; you shouldn't be treating them like you stubbed your toe. And the worst thing is, it's not like this is some obscure piece of medical information that only a handful of doctors have ever even heard of it. Concussions are frighteningly common, and the damage they can do should be just as well-known.
I am already happy that Douglass had Hagen be affected by his concussion at all.
What would be interesting was if the Mother was speaking through Shra, temporarily possessing her to do an impromptu ritual for Azhure. ...even if the ritual itself makes no sense, and is nothing like Faraday's ritual... Eh, whatever.
Oh, the Mother certainly can and will do that, but if that were the case, we probably would have noticed.
(no subject)
Thursday, 7 November 2024 00:22 (UTC)It's appalling to know that he hasn't even begun the descent into pure evil.
And I agree; he did not need to be BattleAxe for this story to play out, or to make the stupid prophecy come true. He doesn't need any position of authority at all, come to that, nor did he need to have an army. His destiny is to kill Gorgrael and that's it. It doesn't even require him to have any fighting skills to do so; he doesn't swordfight the guy or anything like that. Basically, he could have been a random peasant for all the difference it would have made in the long run.
Because Axis is Toxic Masculinity on legs. He cannot react to anything unless it be with anger and violence. It's honestly terrifying, and especially when we see how this affects the way he treats the women in his life.
Laziness and not liking the idea of having one of her favoured characters ever be wrong about anything.
Pretty much every female character in this thing comes off as a closeted lesbian, so much so that I very much suspect the author was herself in the closet (she is well known to have never married, and lived alone). At one point Azhure and Faraday VERY obviously seem to be falling for each other, though of course it goes nowhere.
I had a concussion once. It wasn't "serious" enough to actually knock me unconscious, but it definitely had some very nasty lingering effects including intense nausea and dizziness.
AMEN. And this isn't the last time Shra gets naked for no reason either...
Azhure being initiated has nothing to do with anything anyway. The Avar refuse to accept her regardless. And gods forbid random moments like these get any sort of explanation. Instead it's just thrown in and forgotten.
(no subject)
Thursday, 7 November 2024 11:24 (UTC)Every time Axis does something awful, I keep hoping that this is as far as it goes. And then each time, you tell me it gets worse. This just keeps getting more and more ominous.
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If you really think about it, Douglass kind of shot herself in the foot with this. She doesn't seem to understand or realize that people like an underdog story. A good story can still be written about someone skilled, but the idea of some unassuming nobody coming out of bumfuck nowhere to go on to save the world is a much more compelling story. You can identify so much more with someone like that, and it's uplifting to believe that you don't have to be powerful of have all kinds of special talents to still be a hero.
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Another thing Douglass doesn't understand: character studies. She seems to have no clue how fascinating it can be to explore a character who ends up completely different than the one you started the book with. Getting into their mind and getting to see that change taking place is awesome.
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In the hands of a better writer, this could be an all-female cast with absolutely no abusive men, and they're all in love with each other go on awesome adventures together and live happily ever after. I would read that book.
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It makes it seem like Douglass is just writing on the fly without having any idea of what she wants to do. She'll bring up random plot points and then toss them aside without ever resolving them. Published books should not be written like this.
(no subject)
Thursday, 7 November 2024 11:35 (UTC)And it should, because there is NOTHING I can say to truly prepare you for what happens in book two.
Yeah, because a regular Jane or Joe with no power is ten times more relatable than some privileged asshole. Instead, Douglass became weirdly obsessed with elevating Axis to higher and higher offices even though it really has nothing to do with the main plot. In no aspect of his life is he allowed to be in any way ordinary.
Exactly! But her protagonists just don't develop. They just get handed new cool powers and shit and have random personality transplants (most notably Azhure, who by the end of book two is completely unrecognisable from the character we meet in book one).
So would a lot of people, methinks. If Douglass was indeed a closeted lesbian as I suspect, she would have done so much better if she had been able to embrace her sexuality and express it in a positive way in her books instead of shoving in all this abusive patriarchal BS in which it's considered more "normal" to fuck your own grandfather than to love another woman (who you aren't related to).
That's exactly how it is, and in book two it gets even more glaring when she starts blatantly retconning things. It's SO obvious she's either trying to compensate for some of the stuff critics probably complained about, or just changed her mind. Azhure for example was probably first intended to just be a minor character, but Douglass obviously became besotted with her because for the next two books she basically takes over the entire thing until eventually everything revolves around her and Axis himself basically becomes a completely irrelevant character. It's absurd.
No they should NOT, which is why I find it so offensive that not only was this crap published but that it's considered a beloved genre classic which still has devoted fans to this day. The author has a fucking award named after her. The Sara Douglass Award For Best Fantasy Series. You know, the author who couldn't even write a halfway passable fantasy series. It's so insulting.
(no subject)
Thursday, 7 November 2024 13:54 (UTC)No they should NOT, which is why I find it so offensive that not only was this crap published but that it's considered a beloved genre classic which still has devoted fans to this day. The author has a fucking award named after her. The Sara Douglass Award For Best Fantasy Series. You know, the author who couldn't even write a halfway passable fantasy series. It's so insulting.
SCSF: At least I can help give this series an eventual thorough evisceration?
(no subject)
Friday, 8 November 2024 00:56 (UTC)(no subject)
Friday, 8 November 2024 16:36 (UTC)*boggles at the idea that Douglass got an award named after her*
I can at least say that, speaking anecdotally and as an American, it's been years since I've seen Douglass get shelf space at any of the bookstores I frequent, and I don't see her discussed very often in the spaces I get my fantasy news and discussion from, so there's that, at least. I think I've mentioned before that I almost picked up BattleAxe (or The Wayfarer Redemption as it's called over here for some reason) in high school; fortunately, I came across some discussion of the series that brought up elements like how awful Axis is/how pathetic Gorgrael is/Douglass's weird incest fetish with the Icarii/etc. that turned me off it, and I went for JV Jones' A Cavern of Black Ice instead. In hindisght, possibly one of the best decisions I ever made.
(no subject)
Saturday, 9 November 2024 06:40 (UTC)I was at my annual local author con when she died, and her publisher held a memorial service. I stayed outside and confided to a fellow fantasy author "I don't feel comfortable going on because I hated her books."
He answered "Yeah, me too." (He was also an Australian fantasy author). We both skipped the event.
Some of my friends still revere Douglass to this day, and it boggles my mind too. It's like what, all you have to do is fill it with overpowered super good-looking characters having romantic bullshit in lieu of a plot and people just lose their damn minds.
Definitely dodged a bullet there. I read at least seven of her books before I finally decided I'd had enough.
(no subject)
Thursday, 7 November 2024 06:19 (UTC)Oh, and Faraday shares her bed with Yr every night once they're back in Carlon and the author basically flat-out admits they're having sex with phrases like Yr being "a bottomless well of comfort" and how the bed is big "but they always found each other". HINT HINT.
(no subject)
Wednesday, 6 November 2024 20:43 (UTC)Azhure fears Hagen, which is why she ignores his wishes whenever she pleases. That's not fear, that's total disregard.
So, did Azhure give Shra a bath or something? Shra shouldn't be recovering this quickly.
Not if Shra's well, no. Under the circumstances being this quiet and docile is probably a bad sign.
Hagen's head must have hit the wall, which is quite possible.
... Where did Hagen come from?
Uh, wasn't he furious with Azhure? I guess he could have switched targets that quickly, I'm having trouble keeping track of his train of thought.
He's trained her well, despite her defying him whenever she pleases? Pull the other one.
... That doesn't count. It is nothing like the circumstances of the ritual, it has none of the symbology, the only point of similarity it has is 'living thing stabbed with knife'. In any sane religion that would be invalid on all counts. Good heavens, in real life using 'we' instead of 'I' in the baptismal rite invalidates it! And that's the easiest sacrament to get right! Even non-Catholics can do it!
And pre-Christians were even more adamant about Getting Things Right! For [expletive]'s sake, did Doughlass know anything about any religion? At all?
This is just.... It's not right, it's not even wrong! It's like saying your cat needs a good heat lamp and a UVB bulb in their tank! It's a total violation of orthopraxy! Orthopraxy ('right practice') is really important!
Uuugh. I think the Ill Logic count needs to go up.
(no subject)
Thursday, 7 November 2024 05:29 (UTC)Well, of course Shra got handed off to Azhure, Azhure is a woman! [sarc] Didn't you know only women can provide child care? [/sarc]
SCSF: That is presumably what Axis thought.
Not if Shra's well, no. Under the circumstances being this quiet and docile is probably a bad sign.
Yes, it certainly would be.
Hagen's head must have hit the wall, which is quite possible.
Fair enough, though I the wording is still confusing.
Uh, wasn't he furious with Azhure? I guess he could have switched targets that quickly, I'm having trouble keeping track of his train of thought.
I guess he is angry with whoever will be most "dramatic"?
ritual
It is about what I might expect from an actual three-year-old, but the insistence that she must have meant it is indeed quite ridiculous. (I will count the Ill Logic when it comes up.)
(no subject)
Thursday, 7 November 2024 05:50 (UTC)Though yes, I'm willing to cut Shra some slack here. Not her fault her elders are so... lacking.
(no subject)
Thursday, 7 November 2024 06:16 (UTC)SCSF: You are wholly right!